Thursday, August 30, 2007

Sweet Heart

Sweetheart,what in the world are you doing?You're making everyone worry about you now. What are you doing? What are you thinking?Are you happy to see mom sad?Sweetheart,why didn’t you tell us that you were being bullied? Why didn’t you come back home? Why don’t you say something? I am tired…I hate this.


Well…maybe she COULDN’T tell you about it. She was afraid of what you might think of her. She was frightened, she was scared…so scared. And didn’t want anyone to know her weakness and coward side. So she made a barrier around her mind to hide it. She hated herself, and was so ashamed of her herself.

She thought, maybe mom will hate me, too. Just like everyone else does. She thought so all along. She couldn’t help thinking that way. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t tell you.
The scariest thing…the most painful thing is…to be hated by someone you truly love!

I’m not any stronger than I was before and nothing has changed that much. But…let’s face it. What’s really important is not the fact that I once was weak…but the will to become stronger

p/s: Fruit Basket episode 17

Little Kittens

I was doing laundry last night when I heard sound of crying kitten. I usually hear it at night and wondering where it comes from, maybe it was looking for her mom or something like that.
But last night the crying was too much for my ear. Sometimes the sound going lower, sometimes higher and sometimes no sound at all.

I looked out from my apartment balcony while playing with my dirty clothes. Look like the crying was coming from at front of my apartment but where was it? I did not see any kittens, so the crying was really annoying. Then I saw a guy wondering near the drain, I suspected there was a kitten trapped inside the drain. Then I figured out that the crying was exactly coming from inside the drain. But that guy just leave, I could see it clearly from my balcony, third floor apartment. Maybe he found out nothing there, but I was sure the kitten was inside the drain.”Somebody please help the kitten! Onegai!!”
I shouted but my voice trapped in my heart. A guard passed by but nobody realize the kitten inside the drain at next apartment, opposite with my apartment.

Huhu...can I really going downstairs and find out? Can I really jump into the drain pick up that little kitty in my pajama? I confused. Ahhh...I always being like this but if I just ignore it how about if it raining. The kitten will absolutely cannot survive and I will go straightly to hell because ignoring them. I pull myself together, put on my cardinal and cat food. It seems someone needs me.

I reached at the drain. Hopefully nobody will see my funny behavior. There a little black kitten staring at me sitting quietly close to the drain. He sits near the drain like he was waiting someone. His eyes were full with tear, what he was waiting for? I looked inside the drain, and another little kitten crying like hell when she saw me.”Help me!!!!”She said. And also the black kitty “Please helps her”
How sweet is it, the little black sit so loyal near the drain, praying someone will help his sister. Not far from there, an adult cat that I used to feed her almost everyday yawned. And I was not sure what she thought.

How to pick the kitten? The drain was deep, and the kitty seems wet including her eyes. She seems likes she was running out of voice. Poor little kitten. I jumped inside the drain; huh… I thought I just can pick the kitten from above. Nobody will see me, I was praying. The kitty did not run when I touched her body. Then I put it near the drain but she was running to me which means she will fall inside the drain again. Stop, I held her body and get out from the drain. I picked up the black kitty, so both of it in my finger. They fit completely in my palm.

They were running around my feet when I opened the cat food. Their body touched my pajama that I just wear, huh I need to change to another clothes soon. I showed them the food, they look excited but the food was hard like buttons. I feed something that they could not eat. At their age, of course they are still in breastfeeding age. How could I give them something like buttons? Perhaps I can get some water and mix the food together, hope it will turn out soft. So I bring them to next building which is my apartment building.

I planned to go upstairs and bring back some water. Luckily I saw a pipe and it was working properly. Sorry if I steal this water, I said while I open the pipe. I dropped it into the cat food, and it did not work. What kind of the cat food is this? I was told that it was a good one and only available at pet shop. But why it was so hard compared that I used to buy at store. Was it too much for stray cat?!The cat food looks like button, the kittens was trying so hard.
I feel bad. I feel really bad. If the kitten try to bite it, I think they will lose the tooth, if not they will starving. I dropped much more water and praying that the food will turn to soft. I try to break it out, it also hard for me. Then what, if I myself faced this similar difficulties, it worst for the kittens. I fail!

I just dropped water as much as I can perhaps it will change its texture. I stand up, nothing much I can do. Of course I could not bring them to my home. I rented with my friends; I wish that I was at hometown, so I can bring them home happily.

Sorry little kittens, I was not helping at all. I running upstairs to apartment, change to clean clothes then sleep while the kittens were crying.

p/s: I am nothing at all

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The 10 most dangerous species of IT manager

Actually I read this article as I joined the TechRepublic forum.It gave me two options whether download as PDF or read through blog.SO I decided to paste it in my blog and share with you. Credit to those who publish and support the forum.

Takeaway: From the wilds of the IT jungles,TechRepublic columnist Jeff Dray documents the 10 most dangerous species of IT manager. Find out if you or your manager fit into the genus he describes.

My present manager is a true gentleman in every sense of the word and even buys me breakfast on occasion. However, in my travels through the wilds of the information technology field, I have come across many different species of IT manager. All are from the genus 'Procurator' and are very dangerous in captivity. Some are now on the World Wildlife Federation's At Risk Register. However, there will certainly be no captive breeding program to preserve them as most would be overjoyed if they disappeared from the Earth.

To help classify these dangerous breeds, I've created the following list of species and character descriptions of some common types of managers. These types are loosely based on some managers I have worked for over the years. As ever, this classification should be taken with a large pinch of salt.

Species one: Procurator Martyrus

Also known as: The "Anything for the good of the company" Manager

This species has a distinctive cry that sounds like this:
"Look at me! I worked Christmas day and even when I had cholera. I walked to the office for six weeks after my car crash, even though both my legs were broken. Why can't you stay another hour each night without pay? I would."

Yes, the office martyr has finally made it to the top, probably because it's the only place where he can't do any harm.

There is a tradition in the British Civil Service of promoting those workers whose incompetence seriously affects the performance of a department. Many such appointees are members of the P. Martyrus group.P. Martyrus is closely related to the next species, Procurator IlligitimusMaximus.

Species two: Procurator IlligitimusMaximus

Also known as: The Mean and Nasty Manager

This manager is of the old school, a right scoundrel. His idea of being a good manager is to be unapproachable or, in his words, "hard but fair." He is neither. He got his present position by hanging on to the coattails of his manager until retirement, or a nasty accident left the position open. Thankfully this is now a severely endangered species.

After sacking a member of the team, he might be heard to say: "I had to let him go; he wasn't showing the right level of commitment. He preferred to go to his mother's funeral rather than come to work. What do they think we're running here? A holiday camp?"

He will turn to the shocked and silenced office and shout: "Anyone else here got any doubts about their loyalty?"

The problem with IlligitimusMaximus is that one day he will make a mistake himself. When he looks to the team to help him out of his difficulty, they will remember past actions and develop a selective deafness to his pleas. His is a lonely path, and for him there is no safe haven.

Species three: Procurator Teflonius
Also known as: The Non-stick Manager

United Kingdom Prime Minister Tony Blair is frequently referred to as "Teflon Tony" because nothing sticks to him. He represents probably the highest evolution of Teflonius ever observed on the planet. Sadly, because of their excellent stealth characteristics, this species is likely to be around in prolific numbers for the foreseeable future.

This species has sloping shoulders from which any blame will easily slide. She will not give a straight answer to a straight question, just in case you might quote her at the court martial. Whenever something goes wrong, she will produce documentary evidence that she was somewhere else at the time. She is more of a nuisance and a waste of salary than a danger, unless you happen to be the victim of one of her decisions. It is always a good idea to make clandestine recordings of any meetings with a P. Teflonius.

Species four: Procurator Absentia
Also known as: The Missing link, or "What Manager?"

They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those workers seek him everywhere.

This manager is critically endangered. When a company is looking to make cuts, they save more money by sacking this type of manager than a front line worker. And as a bonus, they don't lose as much from the skill base.

Let me give you a real-world example of my encounter with this species: Many years ago, I worked for a very pleasant young manager called Tim, who was in charge of two teams, both in different buildings. He would call in to see us—a small team of three people—and tell us that he would be spending the day with the other team, which was having problems. Apparently, we were reliable and could be trusted to get the work done, whereas the others were an incompetent bunch who needed constant supervision.

Imagine our surprise the day we called the other office to speak to him on an urgent matter only to be told that he was with us because we were incompetent and needed to have constant supervision. This was before the days of mobile phones, so the game was up. He was, it seemed, happy to leave both teams and pass his days playing golf. Sorry Tim, if you ever read this, we knew all the time!

Species five: Procurator Insignia
Also known as: The Flashy Brass

This manager has a sign on his desk or office door, a badge or some similar marking of rank. If he thought he could get away with it, he would wear pips on his shoulders or gold bands around his jacket cuffs. He will take outrageous liberties, like instructing a junior member of staff to wash his car or go out to collect his dry cleaning. When you question this, he will point to this mark of office and say the immortal four words: "THIS says I can."

This species is universally ignored by "his staff," as he likes to call them. As with IlligitimusMaximus, he will receive no help if he screws up. The main difference is that Insignia can be an amusing figure to mock.

Species six: Procurator Headinsandia
Also known as: The "I don't want to hear it" Manager

Yes, one type from my original list of 10 most dangerous types of help desk callers has made it to this list. Perhaps the help desk caller is, in fact, the manager of the same type or maybe the help desk caller mutates into this type of manager when he or she reaches the appropriate level.

P. Headinsandia is probably the manager of a department near you. When the team gives an honest answer to an honest question about the timescale of a project, she will throw up her hands in horror and give the cry that clearly identifies the species. In fairness, this manager takes the cares of the world on her shoulders and worries about them. She lies awake at night fretting about delivering the monthly reports on time. She presents herself as a tough, go-getter, but is often covering an inadequacy. Be gentle with this species, but most of all ignore this type of manager. It's easier that way.

Species seven: Procurator Buzzwordia

Also known as: The Buzzword Manager

Often found, after a long search, in deep water wearing the latest Ralph Lauren concrete collection, Buzzwordia manages by use of a string of clichés and ideas that he heard at management seminars. Meetings with him are not for the weak-stomached, and it is advisable to keep a bucket handy, just in case.

Think about the last person you heard say:

* "There's no 'I' in team."
* "Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME."
* “I can’t spell success without U.”
* "I want us to be Proactive, not Reactive." (Of course, in this context, 'Us' means 'You.')

Despite the extreme reaction this species can cause, they are mostly harmless. They are prolific in Northern Europe, returning to breed in sheltered colonies in suburban areas of minor towns. Offspring usually opt not to work in management but may become social workers or violent criminals. When this happens, they are usually deemed to be 'misunderstood.'

Species eight: Procurator Amicus Potissimus
Also known as: The Best Mate

This is a well-padded, red-faced manager, given to back-slapping and calling in favors, even before any are owed. He makes unreasonable demands in the name of friendship and invites you to his children's birthday parties, even though you can't stand kids unless they have been barbecued.

Amicus Potissimus tends to overuse first names even when not appropriate. Still it is quite hard to be rude to them. This species makes you want to slit your throat as they ramble on about the fantastic time they had on their last sales seminar or golf tournament. Although it is clear to anyone around you that you'd rather be boiling in oil, the Best Mate assumes that you share his interests.

Species nine: Procurator Impatiens
Also known as: The Two-Minute Manager

This is the type of manager who asks for an update on what has been done during her absence, then abruptly cuts off the answer after two minutes with a cry of "I don't have time now. I want a report on my desk first thing Monday morning."

Although she always does this at 5 p.m. on a Friday, there is no need to worry. She will seldom remember that she has asked for it.

She is closely related to P. Headinsandia and likes to give the impression that she is too busy and important to bother with details. She's very good at delegating tasks, mainly because she doesn't have a clue how to do them herself. P. Impatiens is not a very good person to work for, as your needs will never be recognized or satisfied. The good news is that she's usually the first to go in a round of downsizing.

Species 10: Procurator Condescendia
Also known as: The Patronizing Manager

Nobody can do it quite like P. Condescendia. He was there when they landed on the moon. In fact, he designed and built the entire communications system. He also cabled Canary Wharf using only a pair of pliers, a cotton bud, and a cocktail stick. He won the Paris to Dakar rally in a car he built himself from old beer cans. He caught the biggest fish, had the best golf handicap, and is, of course, a close personal friend of the Managing Director.

We underlings are all very well, but we needed his supreme holiness and guidance to see us through even the simplest task. The trouble is that his intervention nearly always leads to problems. It can be really hard to find hard disk jumpers with the head of Condescendia bobbing in front of the light continually.

The simple way to deflate this species is to ask, in all innocence, why, if they are so talented, are they working for a tuppenny-ha'penny outfit like yours? Rally driving golf pros had far better earning potential than a junior manager in Grot-Com.

p/s:Join TechRepublic for more article

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sixth Sense Cat

Actually yesterday I found out about this freaky cat.So today I made research about Oscar,the cat who adopt by hospital and have ability to smell death of people.
It's quite scary but he is really cute cat and have really special ability.
Why don't you found out yourself.
Oscar is not just the average cat.

"He's a cat with an uncanny instinct for death," said Dr. David M. Dosa, assistant professor at the Brown University School of Medicine and a geriatric specialist. "He attends deaths. He's pretty insistent on it."

Here the video and the article of A Day in the Life of Oscar the Cat

p/s: This cat is something

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Wasteful Tears?

Last night, my mom gave a call. Her voice is really weird, seem likes she were shaking. She asked me,”How are you doing?” as usual even a day before she kept asking the same question.

But I sense something goes wrong with her. She seemed so worry about me. I asked about my brother who I lost contact for a week. She said, “He just fine, he was in his class that’s why he does not pick up your call.” Huh, brother. Even he was busy he should know how to send SMS since I gave him thousand miscall and SMS. I worried to death and he acted so cool about it.

“You don’t have to worry about your siblings dear. You should worry about yourself. Get enough rest. Eat more.”

Weird.”Mom, you’re the one who should take care of yourself”

“No. I am getting older. You’re the one-


“You should take care of yourself. Remember our promise. I’ll build house for you and then a lot more of thing we will do it together. So you should take care of yourself. Stay health”

“No..I worry about you..”Her voice sound uncertain. She was crying.
”What’s wrong with you?!Do you have fight with father?”

“No...Just I am really worrying about you”

What’s wrong with her? Is she got bad dream about me?

“Are you got bad dream-

“Umm.”She then suddenly drops the phone.

Oh My God. I worried to death. What dream that she had? Was I killed by someone or someone hurt me. I cry and pray,”Please God keep we safe forever”.

After a while I have been worrying, crying and praying, I got a call from her.

“You must stop worrying dear. It’s nothing, it’s just a dream.” She said.
“So what’s the dream?”I asked her with my eyes full with tears.
“It’s nothing. I dreamed that you have been proposed by someone.”
“You seem in love with that guy. So I could not do anything.”

“Mom!!” I was putting myself crying and praying and for that only the reason.
“I never have a boyfriend. So how you suppose get that dream?!!!”
I am not sure whether I was angry or surprise. I never think that I will get marry before I achieve my objectives first. ”And then I don’t know what is the connection between your advice and your dream?”

“Nothing. Because I worried, I missed you so much”
Huh u hu. My mother is always saying something funny in serious way. I am just wondering whether my tears are wasteful or not.

Ps:At last my choc fudge brother reply my SMS just now.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Horse…what a luxury animal

I don’t remember when the last time I watched National Geographic or Animal Planet. But I still remember one program about police department that take care of animal. One case is about the owner ignored his horses. I am really sorry to see the horses; they were skinny and their place bugged by flies.

How dare the owner let his horse living in that situation? Same goes with other pet. The policewoman seem angry, “You know, horse is luxury animal. If you knew that you could not afford it, just sell it. This place absolutely not suitable for even human to live for”.

I also tend to cry when I saw the horse’s eye. How pitiful. How bad human is? Because we are human, is that mean we can do anything we like. So we become worst than any other animal because we didn’t use our powerful brain.

Then last week, I spent a whole week with horses in endurance event (22 July- 30 July 2007). Uma chan subarashi nehh. I believe the race is not belongs to only the rider but to horse. If the horse willing to win just let it be. Hopefully no one of the rider force their horse to win the competition.

I believe the owners take care of their horses is not because of they are expensive but because they are really lovely animal. I am really happy to see how uma chan show their love to human. They create special chemistry between their owners.

P/s: I really want to kiss and ride them once but unfortunately I was too busy.I hope we will meet again uma-chan.