Wednesday, December 19, 2007
So I didn't attend the school that provided super art facility.So I just drawing and sketching alone as it release my stress away.I swear if I get children that addict in drawing I will give them fully support.So it will be more cheerful if you have passion in your career, right?But I am happy being a programmer.
Today I spending my time coding and drawing.I did it both,while waiting my coding to be compiled by NetBeans I sketch something on recycle paper.Then I continue coding, then sketching then go back coding...until I 've done both.
I don't why lately I love sketching a woman who show her back,and staring something out there.I started sketching from the body and not head.I never sure that it will be exhibited in gallery because usually I will throw it away.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
I can't wait to see my mother face that will melt all my stress away.
I can't wait to join my sisters and brothers laughing and arguing.
I can't wait to hear my father nagging.
I can't wait to disturb my cats playing
I can't forget my old shelter
I don't care how dreadful it is
Because I knew how much money that I got,
it's never be the same.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Maybe some of people wondering why suddenly I would like to apply make up.Lately iro iro things happens.Stress ,crying ,headache everything burst my head.
I want to take it positively but somehow it sound to simple to implement.So I think make up maybe can be one of solution.
If I wore makeup,I will make sure that my face is always look happy for make up to works.If I cry of course my make up will spoil.So I must smile and happy always right?Even the reason is funny but I don't care.;).Humm, but I need to consider the budget of makeup after this.
I only have basic thing like above.So a lot of things to buy.
p/s:I 'll make sure my make up is natural so I won't be like someone wearing kamen.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Ok, forget about it. Let go back to Jade plant. I surfed thru internet it also called as Money Tree, Friendship tree so I fall in love with my plant even I hate it at first. Because it too heavy to travel with it. I named it Jade Lee, but then I take second plant so I decide to name it properly. So I named it Unid Midori (Green) and Unid Mamoru (Earth).I left Mamoru at my office and Midori at my house's balcony. SO can I say that I got a cute twin pair, Midori and Mamoru.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
and go flying over traffic
My doubt becomes wings
and I go shaking everything off
My Fragile Life
I’ve finally noticed it
My Precious Life
I’ve finally obtained it
All above is not my word by snippet of lyric from Rasen/Spiral sang by Chihiro Onitsuka.This is our life even it is so bad but still we will survive.That make us different.Don't give up.You was not born to suffer.Because I believe that God does not mean it.If you still feel that way, then what type of benefits that God get for making you suffering.Nothing.
This is our life, whether it is bad or not, the only one that can decide it us.So I want to be happy and thankful.Because being alive is the most precious thing in this world.Ganbate nehhhhhhhhhh!!!
ps:You should know where I got this below sentences from?
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
"I think that was called as a 'brain' by human being" said a cat.
"Wow...what a superb creature" said a dog.
"If you see this creature, please run away. It is the most dangerous predator in this world" Mother tiger told her cabs.
Last night I watched National Geographic, story about 12 dangerous predators in North America but at the last conclusion still human being become the most dangerous and it was excluded in the list.
Right now, while all dangerous predators facing massacre by human, my brain work blankly. I am BLANKK...totally BLACK. My brain seems send a message "The program is not responding properly. Do you want to end it now?"
So what option do I have? Yes or No? I think I clicked Yes because right now I only listening to Memai (Dizziness) by Chihiro Onitsuka while doing nothing. Seem like I was totally hibernate.
Monday, November 12, 2007
It’s funny when I flash back. I read from internet regarding on best method to wash hair. It’s said baking soda and apple cider vinegar .And the feedbacks, comments from the peoples who already applied it made me amazed. How come? If I can use that method it will save my money and my hair become healthier.
I also made research on ACV, and feel surprised on how much benefit that can we get from ACV. Try for yourself, you will see ton of benefits such cure asthma, arthritis, blemish; can be used as washing agent and much more. So I went straight away to pharmacy and bought Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar.
For baking soda, I think baking powder that I used to bake cookies still available, so I will use that. So I tried last Saturday, I put baking powder maybe more than one tablespoon and mixed with water, just a little so I hope it will become paste. But it won’t, it just dilute and bubbling. Sound scary. Then I put it on my hair, my hair suddenly become harder and drier. I thought it normal, so I just add more baking powder. Ohh..it become worst..But maybe for beginner, then I rinse my hair with difficulty. After that I put yolk mixed honey and leave for more than 15 minutes. I think that save my hair, after completing hair mask, I rinse with ACV(1 tbsp mixed with water 250 ml).My hair become so and so, but thanks to the yolk mask if not my hair will become worst.
My hair is not so bad before this, but it does not mean that it was so good like shampoo model. But still I not satisfied, I want more so when I read about such method I could not wait to experiment. Okay maybe second time will be better.
So last Tuesday, I tried it again, this time no yolk mask because I don’t want to wait. It’s not good to spend a long time in bath at night. I put baking powder and my hair turn to something that huh God help!!!I could not even crumple my hair, it was too hard. I could not believe that it will turn to this. At last end up using shampoo but it seem too late.
I want to cry. My hair becomes worse than normal. There’s something wrong with my method so I need to clarify this a.s.a.p. I typed “baking powder” and then I got answer from Yahoo! Answer. Baking powder and baking soda (soda bicarbonate) is DIFFERENT. Baking powder is too fine, ahaa..it’s remind me to my baking powder ingredients. It contains soda but also component such corn starch and etc. OK,I used wrong ingredient on my hair. Then I read again, “use 1 tbsp soda bicarbonate mixed with one cup of water. DON’T USE MUCH IT WILL DRY YOUR HAIR.” Huhu..I used half of baking powder with only 1 tbsp water. So no wonder my hair turns to cactus.
So after jogging, I bought sodium bicarbonate. So just now I tried, I also made yogurt mask. The result is not bad as before that’s mean I’m on the right track. So I will try again next time. So wait for the result ok.
P/s: Yogurt is too delicious; I finished it half before I applied it on my hair. He he he.
Monday, October 22, 2007
So dah habis cuti, pada 20 haribulan sabtu lalu.Aku dan adik-adik aku bersedia untuk pulang ke KL semula.Semua barang dimasukkan ke dalam kereta dan kami bersalaman dengan mak, abah dan beserta adik beradik yang lain.Aku masuk ke dalam kereta dan menghidupkan enjin, bersedia untuk keluar dan memulakan perjalanan.
Jiranku yang ramah tetiba menegur, "Amboiii, orang kaya dah nak balik ke."Ramah.
Makku seperti biasa ,"Muha salam la dengan cik na dulu"
Aku pun keluar untuk bersalaman tapi jiranku berkata, "Tanak la salam kut pagar ja,mehla kat rumah"
Aku serba salah, meninggalkan keretaku yang masih hidup enjinnya, membontoti adik-adikku ke rumah jiranku.Aku ingatkan hanya bersalaman tapi jiran ku menyediakan nasi himpit dan minuman menyuruh kami minum.Serba salah nak menolak jiran aku yang baik hati ni.Tapi dalam hati teringat enjin yang masih lagi hidup dibiar lama.
Sesudah makan dan bersalaman, aku menonong ke kereta dan mendapati enjin sudah dimatikan.Aku assume mungkin abah yang matikan enjin tuh sebab terbiar lama lebih kurang 15-20 minit rasanya.Aku menghidupkan enjin dan mula reverse.
Aku heran kenapa minyak bunyi berderum-derum padahal aku rasa aku tekan slow jer,ye la dekat laman rumah mana ada orang pecut.Lagipun selama ni pun aku memang kena reverse dari laman dan pusing balik untuk keluar rumah.Abah aku memekik marah apabila belakang kereta terkena pokok bunga.Tapi aku macam blur, jadi aku ke depan keretaku macam ditolak ke depan walaupun aku menekan brek sekuat hati sampai berbunyi keriuk ,tapi kereta aku meluncur dan melanggar pokok ceri.Dumm!!
Aku terpana,kaku dan tak paham dengan apa yang berlaku."Awak tekan minyak kuat tu kenapa??Kenapa tak brek???!!"Abahku mula marah.
Aku tak paham,adakah yang aku tekan tadi minyak tapi kenapa ada bunyi keriuk2.Setahu aku brek aku yang akan berbunyi macam tu.Tapi katala apa pun, aku masih lagi blurr dan tak paham apa yang berlaku.
Kereta viva ku yang umurnya sebulan kemek bonet hadapan.Aku panik, teruk ke.Aku macam tak percaya, ye la selama nih aku boleh jer bawak merata tapi tetiba kantoi di halaman rumah.Panik blur semua ada."Jom buat report" Abah ku segera mengambil alih memandu.Kereta tersebut masih lagi berjalan dan tak ada warning kerosakan.
Aku ke balai polis Tawar, tapi disuruh aku buat laporan ke Baling.Sampai di balai, polis terus mengambil keterangan ku dan aku dikenakan kompoun .Langgar pokok ceri di laman rumah kena kompoun...isk sampai hati betul kereta ku ini.
Polis menasihatkan kami untuk membuat pemeriksaan sebab aku akan memandunya jarak jauh.So kami ke bengkel berdekatan.Abahku menyuruh mekanik mengetuk bonet depan sahaja itupun tak perlu rapi kerana kami berhasrat untuk membaikinya di KL.Begitu juga nasihat agenku.Mudah untuk claim insurance.
Tapi setelah itu mekanik tersebut mendapatai radiator rosak,kipas rosak, air turun macam air hujan.Secara langsungnya, kereta aku tak selamat untuk dipandu ke KL. Tuhan saja jer ketahui, bagaimana kelam kabut nya kami dari pagi hingga pukul 4 petang.Mencari workshop panel dan pelbagai.Ramai yang nak menolong tapi tentula duit alasannya.Malah abahku berkata ada broker yang siap menunggu di balai polis traffik untuk mengesan kemalangan.Dari pagi sampai petang aku kelam kabut.Handphone pulak tetiba habis kredit, terpaksa menumpang orang mencari kedai topup , dan pelbagai lagi.Tapi aku amat berterima kasih kepada agen perodua ku yang bersusah payah menolong walaupon hanya menggunakan telefon.
Sehingga semuanya kelihatan selesai, dan hari beransur petang aku bergegas ke bus station untuk membeli tiket.Aku cuma bertanya satu kaunter, dan apabila kerani aku berkata "Sorri dik, tiket dah habis.Hari selasa saja yang ada" Aku kecewa, terus pulang ke rumah dengan menumpang kenderaan broker bersama abah.
Bila sampai mak dan adik-adik menunggu kepulangan.Semua melihat aku dengan muka kasihan."Tiket dah habis.Selasa saja ada, jadi Along tak beli." Angah dan adik aku seorang lagi bergegas semula ke bus station yang sama dengan harapan ada tiket bas dari kaunter-kaunter lain setelah mengetahui aku cuma bertanya satu kaunter sahaja.Mereka pergi dengan bas, aku bersyukur kerana adik-adik aku sangat memahami aku.Mereka tak melenting bila mendapat tahu aku cuma bertanya satu kaunter tetapi berusaha pergi semula walaupun hari sudah lewat petang dengan menggunakan bas.
Bia dikenang semula peristiwa tuh aku masih macam tak percaya.Kereta baru dibawa ke hulu hilir akhirnya accident di halaman rumah sendiri pada hari terakhir ianya berada di rumah.Perasaan aku ketika kemalangan memang la berkecamuk.Rasa panik , menyesal membeli kereta dan pelbagai lagi.Kerana apa apa yang berkaitan dengan duit memang bermasalah.
Tapi mak aku menenangkan aku,ada hikmahnya katanya.Mujur di halaman rumah, kalau di highway?Mujur dengan pokok ceri kalau dengan orang macammana?Susah jugak aku nak terima.Petang hampir maghrib, aku menunggu kepulangan adik adik ku yang pergi membeli tiket.Aku membuat panggilan kepada seorang rakan di KL, menceritakan serba ringkas kejadian tersebut.Setelah berbual serba sedikit aku termenung di pintu, melihat ke arah pokok ceri kecil yang kulanggar pagi tadi.Pokok tuh macam tak terjejas tapi kereta ku sampai terpaksa claim insuran.
Adik aku yang bongsu duduk bersebelah dengan ku."Kenapa along duduk sesorang?"
Aku malas menjawab,"Tak ada apa."
"Along tau tak, masa along masuk dalam kereta tadi muka along lain.Lain sangat..."
"Lain ?Lain macam mana tuh?"
"Muka along bengkak, merah mata along pon merah..Adik takut sangat nak tengok muka along.Macam kena rasuk."Dia bercerita bersungguh-sungguh.
"Rasuk?!"Aku agak tersentap bila mendengarnya.Adik bongsu aku nih biasala selalu dianggap paling kecil,selalu dileteri dan kata-katanya agak jarang didengar.Biasala bongsu.Tapi kali ni bunyinya macam orang besar-besar.Tapi memang sepatutnya dia seperti orang besar sebab umurnya sudah 13 tahun.Tapi mungkin dia bongsu,jadi dia la selalu jadi mangsa.
"Lepas tuh bila along bawak kereta.Kereta bunyi mengaum-ngaum.Memang pelik la.Emak susah hati,mak cakap kat adik kalo nak jadi apa-apa jadi kat rumah.Tau-tau along langgar pokok ceri tuh"
Aku tak pasti sama ada nak percaya ataupun tak.Tapi pagi tadi memang aku perasan muka aku kat cermin memang pelik.Macam bengkak dan ada eye bag yang ketara padahal selama nih walaupun aku tidur lambat atau tak tidur langsung mata aku takkan ada eyebag yang sekembung tuh.Adik aku pun perasan.Tapi selepas kejadian,ketika aku bosan di bengkel aku sempat bertanya adik aku, eye bag di mata ku kelihatan ke tak lagi.Dia kata, sudah surut.Pelik.
Akhirnya adik-adikku berjaya mendapatkan tiket pada 21 hb pukul 10 pagi.Syukur.Apatah lagi salah seorang akan menduduki exam pada 22 hb.Aku bertanya adikku yang seorang lagi tentang mukaku yang pelik pagi tadi.Dia bercakap muka dan perangai aku pelik dari semalam.
Semalam aku memandu kereta ke Kuala Ketil untuk mengisi minyak dan mengeluarkan tunai.Dua adikku menemaniku.Sepanjang jalan aku merungut kerana aku tak suka jalan ke Kuala Ketil.Jalannya berbukit dan dipenuhi dengan pokok kelapa sawit dan getah.Walaupon Kuala Ketil adalah bandar tapi untuk sampai kira kira 20 minit akan melalui jalan yang gelap dan sunyi.Yang membuatkan aku seram sejuk sahaja.
Aku cuma perasan yang aku sangat blur dan keliru ketika bangla di station minyak tuh marah kerana aku kelihatan susah payah untuk parking di tepi pam.Aku pon pelik padahal bendanya senang.Sampai adik aku yang terpaksa keluar kereta dan 'berkomunikasi' dengan bangla tersebut.Dalam perjalanan aku duduk di line tengah sehinggakan kereta lain marah.Aku cuma memarahi diriku sendiri kenapa lah memandu kereta seolah-olah aku baru sahaja belajar semalam.
Entah.Tapi kenyataannya di dalam laporan polis dan anggapan orang aku yang cuai.Dan aku akui aku cuai kerana aku cuai lebih senang diterima dari benda-benda pelik.Aku sendiri pun susah nak percaya.
Cuma malam tuh sebelum tidur emakku berkata yang salah seorang adikku bermimpi tentang ikan keli.Orang cakap ikan keli selalu berkaitan dengan masalah.Dia sendiripun berasa susah hati sehingga menangis waktu bersalaman denganku.Bukan dia saja menangis tapi adik beradikku yang lain.Dia berdoa, jika sesuatu yang buruk hendak terjadi,jadikanlah ia berdekatan dengan rumah.Dan aku melanggar pokok ceri.Dia menasihatkan aku sabar dan tabah.Banyak masalah yang aku telah hadapi jangan hanya kereta aku berputus asa.
Hari ni, aku masuk ofis dan memfakskan geran kereta kepada bengkel berkenaan.Harapnya masalah akan selesai dan takkan ada isu berkaitan dengan duit.Aku mintak tolong sangat,kerana duit yang aku ada untuk pendidikan adik-adik aku,ibu bapa ku dan bukan untuk kemalangan nih.
Aku mulai tenang dan berfikir kembali.Banyak hikmahnya dengan izin Allah.Harapnya ini adalah first and last accident yang berlaku.Aku tanak mengulang cerita-cerita yang sama jadi aku menulis dalam blog.Bercerita semula benda yang buruk memang menyakitkan hati.Titik
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I brought all adventure with my cutie including step into a deep horrible hole which hurt her and makes me worries all the time. But it's quite difficult for under probation driver driving in congested KL (This is my first car and I never drive any car except in my driving lesson). Traffic jam and holes is everywhere. It makes me think that my new Viva will turn into Flinstone car when it arrives at my hometown. Really please NO! (I pray harder).
It becomes worst when I have bad sense of direction. If I have to drive alone, I tend to explore all KL unintentionally. Not sure whether it is good or not but I keep believing that it's okay to be lost as long the earth is around.
Then the agreement letter arrived at my hometown, and my mom found out that I bought a new car. She gave me a call and insisted for the answer. I said yes, but maybe I will get it after Raya. One another lies .I was hoping that I can make her a surprise. Okay, she believes it (I hope).
Last time, I visited my younger brother at his college. He surprised when seeing me with the car."Is this yours?" "Yup, sorry then it just Viva.”I said proudly. I made him to promise to keep this secret away from our mom."Ohh…Okay."He agreed.
He went back one week earlier than us with bus. And I could not believe that he revealed my super surprise to our mom. I knew when my younger sister, Angah told me that Mi Goreng (my younger brother nick name, means noodles because his name end with Mi (Mee)) already told my mom how happy he was in my car.
Huhu...I could not believe it that Mi Goreng revealed a very important secret which I and my sisters Angah and Cah hiding it hardly from our mom. My mom called me and I tried my best no to answer it until Cah said, “I am giving up. Mom already knew. Please just answer her.”
Okay. And my mom said,” Is it okay to leave your new car there while all of you coming back with bus. Why not you just sell your ticket back, and come home with the car?”She get excited with the new car and keep telling me that she observed all the cars on the road to know how my car look like. Funny.
I just answer yes. The reality is, we never bought a ticket, and we just made it up in order to keep the secret. But now the secret was revealed but she still believes that we bought the tickets and insists us to sell it back. I am not sure whether I should tell her the truth or not. But it will become long story so better I save it for next time when I will be spending my whole week at my hometown. Okay, I assume the case is closed.
Last night I was shopping with my friends at Jalan Tar. It is very famous place for shopping clothes and related stuff with festival. I learned a lot of thing which are first, driver at KL (Malaysia) is not really professional even they passed and got experience in driving. In really congested traffic jam, one of the drivers can reverse his car and kiss my new car even my friend keep honking him to remind that we are all at the back congested and could not move so please stop reversing your car without the reason. Luckily my friend was driving at that time; he went up and ‘blames’ the driver. The driver insisted, “I am not reversing my car”
Of course you not idiot. If your reverse your car in the right way, we will notice by the sign lamp. But we could not notice it if you release your brake, without turn on the hand brake and of course the car will moving by its own. That is very basic I think, DO NOT RELEASE YOUR BRAKE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO MOVE. Luckily my Baby is safe, if not you will dead meat (Just kidding, but of course I’ll get angry).If there no repair fee then okay, but as human, anything involves money sometimes will make me angry.
Okay I am done with the bad mode. Let’s go to next paragraph.
I was shopping like hell last night, but not all for me.90% of my shopping is for family. If you have 10 members in your family you will see. I tried my best to buy something for every member but still I need to skip, I still do not buy anything yet for my three brother including Mi Goreng. Actually I am not sure what to buy. When I call mom, she said “No, no. You don’t have much money but yet you still to buy something. No. No.” She keeps refusing.
If I want to buy personally, I need to think in many perspectives such as what to buy, size, and cost. Mi Goreng will not simply use anything that I bought for him. He is quite picky for a man species. Other younger brother, Ekal, he is simple but he does not like formal, schema style. He is more to wacky style or in other word “Bad Guy” style. Jeans and no collar shirt .And my youngest brother Paiz, I am not sure how tall he is now. Back then, when I was at home he getting taller than me. I used to kiss his cheek if I going to leave the home. And because at that time he was little, I need to lower my position but last time I don’t have to. He keeps telling me that he is growing up when I used to lower my position by mistake.
For my younger sisters and mother I don’t have to think much. I just buy scarf, the only thing that I need to know is their clothes color which is easier. I also bought some brooches. Being female makes it easier. Then I bought shirt for my father even he said he already have one.”I don’t care. I want to buy it anyway” I said when my mom said no. It was my money anyway. And I was spending almost RM200 for a night. It hurt but I hope everyone is happy. For my three stoogers, I will get you something when I arrive at home.
Actually I want to make this Hari Raya Special for everyone. We faced a lot of difficulties and of course money is one of them. But I am happy because I have great family that cares each other. It is more special compare to other thing. I should not ask for more because it is more than enough.
Monday, September 24, 2007
"Anon: I think we're getting old and lazy. We keep talking about going
elsewhere, but we've both been to Thailand, neither of us like Korean
food (my body doesn't tolerate garlic well), what I've heard about
Taiwan doesn't really appeal, and Kamchatka ... never occurred to us.
(We did think of Vladivostok once, but flights were ridiculously
expensive.) The Man wants to go back to north India at some point, but
we usually end up in Malaysia because it's so easy and so much fun.
else can you sit eating Indian food surrounded by people of three
different ethnicities speaking three (or more) languages and that's
normal? Where else can you feel like you're in Hong Kong one moment,
India the next, and some high-tech first world country the next? Where
else is the food so damned good (and cheap) and varied? Where else can
you go to a beach resort and the local tourists outnumber the foreign
tourists ten to one? (One of the things I found uncomfortable about
Thailand was the lack of local tourists.) Where else can you feel so
much NOT like a tourist? You're just another of the many different
ethnicities/nationalities/languages/colours/religions (or lack of) that
make up the glorious mess of a place. After all these years in Japan I
know I will never feel like that here. I will always be a gaijin
outsider, and not quite human.
In Malaysia I am human."
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Friday, September 14, 2007
I remembered that our family was so poor at that time. I just came back from university to celebrate Aidil Fitri.My sister made drink to break the fast. I just wondering what was white drink with not bad flavor. I used to drink it quite few times while breaking fast. I asked my younger her sister, but she just smiled and said,” Special cordial that only you can find it in this house”.
Until I saw she made it and I repeated the same question.”Could not you see? It is only plain water mixed with sugar”. We didn’t even have money to buy cordial or flavor at that time. Then when I was drinking, I felt so sad because we were so poor.
Our house once ruined during fasting month, close to Aidil Fitri.I still remembered my mother shaking and shivering and the youngest sister crying. But we still acted like nothing happens. And my house still like that, ugly, right now I am saving money as much as I can so one day we will happy to celebrate fast month in a good house at least.
Then when Syawal comes, we have experienced to celebrate it with Serunding Ikan Bilis (Anchovies dish).Only that we could afford. My mom as a mother could not hide her sadness when she only could serve basic food on first Syawal. We never yearning for new clothes, but if we did, it was only for the younger member in the family. Until now, I need to make my mom to promise that she will make new clothes as I give a few bucks to her. I don’t want to wear new clothes if there any other member does not have one. So for this Aidil Fitri I want all my family to be happy and I want to surprise them with a new car.
Right now, once again Ramadhan comes and all those memories roaming around. Of course right now, the food is much better. But when I want to eat, I wondering what my family has. I hope they will have food as good as I am. Our life is much better that before. I have to be thankful.
I feel grateful to Allah because He creates such an amazing month so we can improve ourselves at least one month in a year. If we follow all the rules, we will get a healthy body and good attitude just after one month. So we should be good as we can.
p/s: Haha..Happy Fasting
Friday, September 7, 2007
Long, long time ago…not very long, maybe last week, I met this little kitten with golden color. Look like a little lion. He (I am not sure the exact gender, so I just assume it) was lying next to car tyre. With a cute little body compared to that black tyre, with the eyes that shining and sparkling, he looks so tiny and cute. He stared at me like he was smiling.”Hey little cutie, you gonna die sooner if you lay like that under the car “I said as picked him up and put him away from the car, without realized that he stole my heart.
Then I gave him soft cat food for kitten and as his mother joining, I gave more cat food. I hope that I will see them again.
Tuesday 5 September 2007
As usual I walking to my office, if I found cat I will feed them. Certain of them already recognized me; they won’t run away but run after me for the food. I am so happy. After bought bihun at my favorite stall, I continued my walk. Usually I won’t find any cat because it was close to office. But that day was different when I saw mother with two kittens playing happily under orange Kancil .They really looks like lion with the golden color. It is dangerous, because there a lot of cars and the cats running around the parking area plus it is busy road. If the driver straight away moves the car without check out the kitten, then Die or Suffer.
I put the cat food, on the pedestrian while they were staring me. I wonder what they were thinking,” Crazy girl!” or something like that. But I am happy anyway; I put more cat food as I concerned the mother need to eat more because breastfeeding required a lot of energy rite?!
I reached office earlier and continued my work happily. At evening, I walking back to home using the same path I saw the cat family still under the same orange Kancil. This time, the mother were breastfeeding her kids. Huhu, could be the mother decided to make the car as their house, which is probably dangerous. But animal instinct usually like that, they stay where they feel comfortable.
May be I could put a poster “Please checkout under your vehicle before you move! There are cute little kittens. Don’t kill them or something like that” Huh, it sounds horrible. I just went back home after giving dinner for them.
Wednesday 6 September 2007
I did not see them. Quite disappointing, I wish I could see those shining and sparkling eyes again. Hope them safe and happy wherever they are.
Thursday 7 September 2007
Which is today. I was walking this morning as I always do. Then I met the mother, she seem sad and unhappy. I want to give her food but she just go away while people were walking around. I could not give her because I feel shame if other people see me .See..I won’t give them food in crowd. In other word, I am coward, stupid or I can use “Malu tak bertempat”.I could just let any cats hungry just because I want to take care of my dignity. If I am kind, I will give them food without concern about other people thinking. So I just left it just like stupid girl.
Then my eyes catch an object, little with golden color on the road. Rat ?!Because usually there rat corpse but this one was not rat it was a little kitten with golden color that I used to see before. Oh my God! It is all my fault. If I managed to create poster and alert the vehicle owner earlier, this would not happen.
So this is what I am today. Moody girl because of her own stupidity. My friend brings me to survey a car and I already booked one. I think I can get over it, but one of my friends told me that she saw other kitten corpse in the Rubbish Bin. Holy SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT…the mother will get GILA MEROYAN if all of her kitten death.
Conclusion: Two Kittens Death and Other strays will follow the same Path.
NOW: My Tears are Nothing!!!Absolutely could not return their life. I am real example of stupid girl.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Well…maybe she COULDN’T tell you about it. She was afraid of what you might think of her. She was frightened, she was scared…so scared. And didn’t want anyone to know her weakness and coward side. So she made a barrier around her mind to hide it. She hated herself, and was so ashamed of her herself.
She thought, maybe mom will hate me, too. Just like everyone else does. She thought so all along. She couldn’t help thinking that way. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t tell you.
The scariest thing…the most painful thing is…to be hated by someone you truly love!
I’m not any stronger than I was before and nothing has changed that much. But…let’s face it. What’s really important is not the fact that I once was weak…but the will to become stronger
p/s: Fruit Basket episode 17
But last night the crying was too much for my ear. Sometimes the sound going lower, sometimes higher and sometimes no sound at all.
I looked out from my apartment balcony while playing with my dirty clothes. Look like the crying was coming from at front of my apartment but where was it? I did not see any kittens, so the crying was really annoying. Then I saw a guy wondering near the drain, I suspected there was a kitten trapped inside the drain. Then I figured out that the crying was exactly coming from inside the drain. But that guy just leave, I could see it clearly from my balcony, third floor apartment. Maybe he found out nothing there, but I was sure the kitten was inside the drain.”Somebody please help the kitten! Onegai!!”
I shouted but my voice trapped in my heart. A guard passed by but nobody realize the kitten inside the drain at next apartment, opposite with my apartment.
Huhu...can I really going downstairs and find out? Can I really jump into the drain pick up that little kitty in my pajama? I confused. Ahhh...I always being like this but if I just ignore it how about if it raining. The kitten will absolutely cannot survive and I will go straightly to hell because ignoring them. I pull myself together, put on my cardinal and cat food. It seems someone needs me.
I reached at the drain. Hopefully nobody will see my funny behavior. There a little black kitten staring at me sitting quietly close to the drain. He sits near the drain like he was waiting someone. His eyes were full with tear, what he was waiting for? I looked inside the drain, and another little kitten crying like hell when she saw me.”Help me!!!!”She said. And also the black kitty “Please helps her”
How sweet is it, the little black sit so loyal near the drain, praying someone will help his sister. Not far from there, an adult cat that I used to feed her almost everyday yawned. And I was not sure what she thought.
How to pick the kitten? The drain was deep, and the kitty seems wet including her eyes. She seems likes she was running out of voice. Poor little kitten. I jumped inside the drain; huh… I thought I just can pick the kitten from above. Nobody will see me, I was praying. The kitty did not run when I touched her body. Then I put it near the drain but she was running to me which means she will fall inside the drain again. Stop, I held her body and get out from the drain. I picked up the black kitty, so both of it in my finger. They fit completely in my palm.
They were running around my feet when I opened the cat food. Their body touched my pajama that I just wear, huh I need to change to another clothes soon. I showed them the food, they look excited but the food was hard like buttons. I feed something that they could not eat. At their age, of course they are still in breastfeeding age. How could I give them something like buttons? Perhaps I can get some water and mix the food together, hope it will turn out soft. So I bring them to next building which is my apartment building.
I planned to go upstairs and bring back some water. Luckily I saw a pipe and it was working properly. Sorry if I steal this water, I said while I open the pipe. I dropped it into the cat food, and it did not work. What kind of the cat food is this? I was told that it was a good one and only available at pet shop. But why it was so hard compared that I used to buy at store. Was it too much for stray cat?!The cat food looks like button, the kittens was trying so hard.
I feel bad. I feel really bad. If the kitten try to bite it, I think they will lose the tooth, if not they will starving. I dropped much more water and praying that the food will turn to soft. I try to break it out, it also hard for me. Then what, if I myself faced this similar difficulties, it worst for the kittens. I fail!
I just dropped water as much as I can perhaps it will change its texture. I stand up, nothing much I can do. Of course I could not bring them to my home. I rented with my friends; I wish that I was at hometown, so I can bring them home happily.
Sorry little kittens, I was not helping at all. I running upstairs to apartment, change to clean clothes then sleep while the kittens were crying.
p/s: I am nothing at all
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Takeaway: From the wilds of the IT jungles,TechRepublic columnist Jeff Dray documents the 10 most dangerous species of IT manager. Find out if you or your manager fit into the genus he describes.
My present manager is a true gentleman in every sense of the word and even buys me breakfast on occasion. However, in my travels through the wilds of the information technology field, I have come across many different species of IT manager. All are from the genus 'Procurator' and are very dangerous in captivity. Some are now on the World Wildlife Federation's At Risk Register. However, there will certainly be no captive breeding program to preserve them as most would be overjoyed if they disappeared from the Earth.
To help classify these dangerous breeds, I've created the following list of species and character descriptions of some common types of managers. These types are loosely based on some managers I have worked for over the years. As ever, this classification should be taken with a large pinch of salt.
Species one: Procurator Martyrus
Also known as: The "Anything for the good of the company" Manager
This species has a distinctive cry that sounds like this:
"Look at me! I worked Christmas day and even when I had cholera. I walked to the office for six weeks after my car crash, even though both my legs were broken. Why can't you stay another hour each night without pay? I would."
Yes, the office martyr has finally made it to the top, probably because it's the only place where he can't do any harm.
There is a tradition in the British Civil Service of promoting those workers whose incompetence seriously affects the performance of a department. Many such appointees are members of the P. Martyrus group.P. Martyrus is closely related to the next species, Procurator IlligitimusMaximus.
Species two: Procurator IlligitimusMaximus
Also known as: The Mean and Nasty Manager
This manager is of the old school, a right scoundrel. His idea of being a good manager is to be unapproachable or, in his words, "hard but fair." He is neither. He got his present position by hanging on to the coattails of his manager until retirement, or a nasty accident left the position open. Thankfully this is now a severely endangered species.
After sacking a member of the team, he might be heard to say: "I had to let him go; he wasn't showing the right level of commitment. He preferred to go to his mother's funeral rather than come to work. What do they think we're running here? A holiday camp?"
He will turn to the shocked and silenced office and shout: "Anyone else here got any doubts about their loyalty?"
The problem with IlligitimusMaximus is that one day he will make a mistake himself. When he looks to the team to help him out of his difficulty, they will remember past actions and develop a selective deafness to his pleas. His is a lonely path, and for him there is no safe haven.
Species three: Procurator Teflonius
Also known as: The Non-stick Manager
United Kingdom Prime Minister Tony Blair is frequently referred to as "Teflon Tony" because nothing sticks to him. He represents probably the highest evolution of Teflonius ever observed on the planet. Sadly, because of their excellent stealth characteristics, this species is likely to be around in prolific numbers for the foreseeable future.
This species has sloping shoulders from which any blame will easily slide. She will not give a straight answer to a straight question, just in case you might quote her at the court martial. Whenever something goes wrong, she will produce documentary evidence that she was somewhere else at the time. She is more of a nuisance and a waste of salary than a danger, unless you happen to be the victim of one of her decisions. It is always a good idea to make clandestine recordings of any meetings with a P. Teflonius.
Species four: Procurator Absentia
Also known as: The Missing link, or "What Manager?"
They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those workers seek him everywhere.
This manager is critically endangered. When a company is looking to make cuts, they save more money by sacking this type of manager than a front line worker. And as a bonus, they don't lose as much from the skill base.
Let me give you a real-world example of my encounter with this species: Many years ago, I worked for a very pleasant young manager called Tim, who was in charge of two teams, both in different buildings. He would call in to see us—a small team of three people—and tell us that he would be spending the day with the other team, which was having problems. Apparently, we were reliable and could be trusted to get the work done, whereas the others were an incompetent bunch who needed constant supervision.
Imagine our surprise the day we called the other office to speak to him on an urgent matter only to be told that he was with us because we were incompetent and needed to have constant supervision. This was before the days of mobile phones, so the game was up. He was, it seemed, happy to leave both teams and pass his days playing golf. Sorry Tim, if you ever read this, we knew all the time!
Species five: Procurator Insignia
Also known as: The Flashy Brass
This manager has a sign on his desk or office door, a badge or some similar marking of rank. If he thought he could get away with it, he would wear pips on his shoulders or gold bands around his jacket cuffs. He will take outrageous liberties, like instructing a junior member of staff to wash his car or go out to collect his dry cleaning. When you question this, he will point to this mark of office and say the immortal four words: "THIS says I can."
This species is universally ignored by "his staff," as he likes to call them. As with IlligitimusMaximus, he will receive no help if he screws up. The main difference is that Insignia can be an amusing figure to mock.
Species six: Procurator Headinsandia
Also known as: The "I don't want to hear it" Manager
Yes, one type from my original list of 10 most dangerous types of help desk callers has made it to this list. Perhaps the help desk caller is, in fact, the manager of the same type or maybe the help desk caller mutates into this type of manager when he or she reaches the appropriate level.
P. Headinsandia is probably the manager of a department near you. When the team gives an honest answer to an honest question about the timescale of a project, she will throw up her hands in horror and give the cry that clearly identifies the species. In fairness, this manager takes the cares of the world on her shoulders and worries about them. She lies awake at night fretting about delivering the monthly reports on time. She presents herself as a tough, go-getter, but is often covering an inadequacy. Be gentle with this species, but most of all ignore this type of manager. It's easier that way.
Species seven: Procurator Buzzwordia
Also known as: The Buzzword Manager
Often found, after a long search, in deep water wearing the latest Ralph Lauren concrete collection, Buzzwordia manages by use of a string of clichés and ideas that he heard at management seminars. Meetings with him are not for the weak-stomached, and it is advisable to keep a bucket handy, just in case.
Think about the last person you heard say:
* "There's no 'I' in team."
* "Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME."
* “I can’t spell success without U.”
* "I want us to be Proactive, not Reactive." (Of course, in this context, 'Us' means 'You.')
Despite the extreme reaction this species can cause, they are mostly harmless. They are prolific in Northern Europe, returning to breed in sheltered colonies in suburban areas of minor towns. Offspring usually opt not to work in management but may become social workers or violent criminals. When this happens, they are usually deemed to be 'misunderstood.'
Species eight: Procurator Amicus Potissimus
Also known as: The Best Mate
This is a well-padded, red-faced manager, given to back-slapping and calling in favors, even before any are owed. He makes unreasonable demands in the name of friendship and invites you to his children's birthday parties, even though you can't stand kids unless they have been barbecued.
Amicus Potissimus tends to overuse first names even when not appropriate. Still it is quite hard to be rude to them. This species makes you want to slit your throat as they ramble on about the fantastic time they had on their last sales seminar or golf tournament. Although it is clear to anyone around you that you'd rather be boiling in oil, the Best Mate assumes that you share his interests.
Species nine: Procurator Impatiens
Also known as: The Two-Minute Manager
This is the type of manager who asks for an update on what has been done during her absence, then abruptly cuts off the answer after two minutes with a cry of "I don't have time now. I want a report on my desk first thing Monday morning."
Although she always does this at 5 p.m. on a Friday, there is no need to worry. She will seldom remember that she has asked for it.
She is closely related to P. Headinsandia and likes to give the impression that she is too busy and important to bother with details. She's very good at delegating tasks, mainly because she doesn't have a clue how to do them herself. P. Impatiens is not a very good person to work for, as your needs will never be recognized or satisfied. The good news is that she's usually the first to go in a round of downsizing.
Species 10: Procurator Condescendia
Also known as: The Patronizing Manager
Nobody can do it quite like P. Condescendia. He was there when they landed on the moon. In fact, he designed and built the entire communications system. He also cabled Canary Wharf using only a pair of pliers, a cotton bud, and a cocktail stick. He won the Paris to Dakar rally in a car he built himself from old beer cans. He caught the biggest fish, had the best golf handicap, and is, of course, a close personal friend of the Managing Director.
We underlings are all very well, but we needed his supreme holiness and guidance to see us through even the simplest task. The trouble is that his intervention nearly always leads to problems. It can be really hard to find hard disk jumpers with the head of Condescendia bobbing in front of the light continually.
The simple way to deflate this species is to ask, in all innocence, why, if they are so talented, are they working for a tuppenny-ha'penny outfit like yours? Rally driving golf pros had far better earning potential than a junior manager in Grot-Com.
p/s:Join TechRepublic for more article
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Actually yesterday I found out about this freaky cat.So today I made research about Oscar,the cat who adopt by hospital and have ability to smell death of people.
It's quite scary but he is really cute cat and have really special ability.
Why don't you found out yourself.
Oscar is not just the average cat.
"He's a cat with an uncanny instinct for death," said Dr. David M. Dosa, assistant professor at the Brown University School of Medicine and a geriatric specialist. "He attends deaths. He's pretty insistent on it."
Here the video and the article of A Day in the Life of Oscar the Cat
p/s: This cat is something
Thursday, August 9, 2007
But I sense something goes wrong with her. She seemed so worry about me. I asked about my brother who I lost contact for a week. She said, “He just fine, he was in his class that’s why he does not pick up your call.” Huh, brother. Even he was busy he should know how to send SMS since I gave him thousand miscall and SMS. I worried to death and he acted so cool about it.
“You don’t have to worry about your siblings dear. You should worry about yourself. Get enough rest. Eat more.”
Weird.”Mom, you’re the one who should take care of yourself”
“No. I am getting older. You’re the one-
“You should take care of yourself. Remember our promise. I’ll build house for you and then a lot more of thing we will do it together. So you should take care of yourself. Stay health”
“No..I worry about you..”Her voice sound uncertain. She was crying.
”What’s wrong with you?!Do you have fight with father?”
“No...Just I am really worrying about you”
What’s wrong with her? Is she got bad dream about me?
“Are you got bad dream-
“Umm.”She then suddenly drops the phone.
Oh My God. I worried to death. What dream that she had? Was I killed by someone or someone hurt me. I cry and pray,”Please God keep we safe forever”.
After a while I have been worrying, crying and praying, I got a call from her.
“You must stop worrying dear. It’s nothing, it’s just a dream.” She said.
“So what’s the dream?”I asked her with my eyes full with tears.
“It’s nothing. I dreamed that you have been proposed by someone.”
“You seem in love with that guy. So I could not do anything.”
“Mom!!” I was putting myself crying and praying and for that only the reason.
“I never have a boyfriend. So how you suppose get that dream?!!!”
I am not sure whether I was angry or surprise. I never think that I will get marry before I achieve my objectives first. ”And then I don’t know what is the connection between your advice and your dream?”
“Nothing. Because I worried, I missed you so much”
Huh u hu. My mother is always saying something funny in serious way. I am just wondering whether my tears are wasteful or not.
Ps:At last my choc fudge brother reply my SMS just now.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
I don’t remember when the last time I watched National Geographic or Animal Planet. But I still remember one program about police department that take care of animal. One case is about the owner ignored his horses. I am really sorry to see the horses; they were skinny and their place bugged by flies.
How dare the owner let his horse living in that situation? Same goes with other pet. The policewoman seem angry, “You know, horse is luxury animal. If you knew that you could not afford it, just sell it. This place absolutely not suitable for even human to live for”.
I also tend to cry when I saw the horse’s eye. How pitiful. How bad human is? Because we are human, is that mean we can do anything we like. So we become worst than any other animal because we didn’t use our powerful brain.
Then last week, I spent a whole week with horses in endurance event (22 July- 30 July 2007). Uma chan subarashi nehh. I believe the race is not belongs to only the rider but to horse. If the horse willing to win just let it be. Hopefully no one of the rider force their horse to win the competition.
I believe the owners take care of their horses is not because of they are expensive but because they are really lovely animal. I am really happy to see how uma chan show their love to human. They create special chemistry between their owners.
P/s: I really want to kiss and ride them once but unfortunately I was too busy.I hope we will meet again uma-chan.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I put my Blog theme as "Rolling Star Inside Me" because I imagined happiness,cheerful life,I want to be happy as happiest person in this world.Of course happiness is not something that simple and easy.But to achieve happiness I think I should be happy in the first place.
I want to be myself, doing anything I like without thinking other people thought.And of course it should bring happiness to other people because my source of happiness come from other peoples happiness.I never can be happy if it caused other people crying.It same with you rite?!But sometimes when it difficult, we should choose the right thing.Life is choosing after all.Choose to be happy!!
Be myself, and never ignore others.Then I found out a song sang by Yui, Rolling Star.
The song is really popular especially when it's become Bleach SOT.There many songs from Yui that I loves.So I think that my blog and the title "Rolling Star" is really cute coincident.I am happy yoo!
Unid's:I not only loves Star but also Moon,Sun,Earth and other planets.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
My eyes felt really heavy. The presentation was nice but during night sometimes my body could not bear it. I was so sorry to the trainer, but I felt even sorry to myself. Such important training but I could not resist myself from getting sleepy. What a waste?!It’s terrible!!!At last, I try to doodle something in my notebook. Usagi?I don’t why I draw usagi, maybe it ear looks cute while sleeping. At last, I drew something that I titled Neko-chan and Usagi-chan.
Unid’s: I wondering why the trainer still look energetic until night?!He must have some sort of secret. If I become trainer, for training that last until night, I was sure enough that I will faint (sleep) without fail.
At end of the training,I completed my drawing.
Monday, July 9, 2007
A foolish traveler was on a journey. He was so foolish that he was easily tricked by others.
“Please, money for medicine…”He was tricked by the villager and lost his clothes and shoes in order to help them.
“My sister is sick…”
“I have no money to buy seeds for the field…”
But, since the traveler was a fool, even when the villagers thanked him with lies saying “You saved me”, he believed them and kept saying, “Be happy, be happy!”
In the end, the traveler became bare-naked, and was so ashamed. So he went inside the forest. But this time, he met the monsters living in the forest. The monsters wanted to eat the traveler’s body so they began to trick him with lies. Of course, the traveler fell for it so he gave away his legs and arms, one by one.
In the end, the traveler only had his head left. Then he gave away his eyes to the last monster. As the monster ate the traveler’s eyes, it said, “Thank you. I’ll give you a present in return.”, and left something behind. But it was just a piece of paper that had “Fool” written on it”. Yet the traveler began to cry.”Thank you! Thank you! I’ve never gotten a present before!”
“I’m happy! I’m happy! Thank you! Thank you”, he said and poured tears out of his already gone eyes. And then the traveler died soon after.
The story ends here. My classmates all called the traveler a fool. But I closed my eyes, and thought about the traveler. I thought of the traveler, fooled and only left with his head, crying while saying “Thank you”.
Then I said to myself,”Ah! How lovely this is…”
Losses or suffering, it’s no use worrying about them. The wanderer didn’t worry about those. Even if it’s something considered foolish by others. I didn’t think it was foolish. Even if it’s someone who easily fooled by others, I didn’t try to fool him. I just really wanted to make others happy. How about Yuki? How about Kyo? Do you still…think it was foolish? With your eyes closed, what do you think?
p/s: Fruit Basket Episode 11 .Sometimes we always worry the simple things
How do I start this? I never think I going to write it on the first place. But when you getting older, a lot of people will ask you one common question:”When you will get married?”
And usually I will answer it as simple as I can just to kill the conversation such as:
1.”Nobody loves me”
2.”I am too busy”
3.”I don’t want to get marry yet”
But whatever answer I gave, I still got a lot of complaint such as
1.”Nobody loves you or you always reject people”
2.”You getting older, hurry up marry and get baby!”
3.”You must work hard to get marry” (I hate this the most)
4.”How about I introduced you to this guy…bla..bla.. (I also hate this)
Actually I do have my own answer, the long one. Maybe it will take a lot of time to explain it but I hope I can simplify it in this blog. But I knew, there still a lot of complaint if I explain it during conversation, so I just write up everything so whenever people ask me question, I can say “Please refer to my blog”. Ha ha ha.
Reason I don’t want to get marry yet. Is not like I hate marriage or what, but I always pray to God.”If You see I am capable to be a wife and mother, please send me a good guy. If not, please don’t. I don’t want to ruin my family”. So can I assume that my prayer is heard and for this time being I am not capable enough to hold that responsibility?
Why is that so?!Let me clear this up. I was born in happy family. I experienced being happy child, when my parent can give a lot of love and money. I ate well, have a lot of toys where I ended up ruined it all. Then a few years after that, my family getting bigger and bigger and “something bad” happens. Our economic condition is ruined and our loves seem like cracked.
I try my best to survive same goes with my family. I experienced starving and almost a lot of bad things. There are some days when my younger brother asks me,” Along, I am hungry. What should we eat?”Sometimes I took my scholarship (was not much at that time, rm600 per year) where I allocate my budget for books to buy rice and food. I still heard that voice in my heart right now, what a lovely day I tasted .I can still see how my brother ate rice mixed with salt happily. Some people feel pity of us and gave clothes or something. I hate to bear it, but I can’t refuse it.
My mom working hard every day, even she was sick. She working at several factories and facing a lot of trouble with her health but she keeps working until I decide to stop my study and help her. But I can’t when she crying and said,” If you want to makes me happy, please study. As long as I still alive, I will make sure you can study”. That time is very hard, I still cry when I remember it .To enter university, I need to collect money for my own. But I still feel stupid choosing to enter private university without scholarship while you can ask for it.
I went through it successfully. My mom always inspires me. All her words like quote to me surrounding me every day.”If you feel bad, there is somebody who experienced worst than us”. “Be thankful, even we are poor but still we can be a good human”.”Don’t give up whenever you feel trouble, because our life is like climbing mountain. The most difficult part is when you are close to the top” (she always says this, so I always keep trying even the difficulties seem never end).She said something precise to me almost the time.
Sometimes when examination I always say I could not answer the question well. But my mom said “You do answer it right?”.
”Yes, but I am not sure the answer.”
“Don’t worry. At least you answer it. Don’t give up “she simply makes me calm.
My mom tried her best. She lets me enjoy my life as simple as it is. I still remember when our house went down dump by durian tree. It was fasting month, and we still three day before Raya. It was very sad and the house still likes that until now because we don’t have money to build new one. But we still celebrate Hari Raya, happily.
Now I am working, so we are less worry about finance. I want to get a lot of money so my sisters and brothers will not suffer as I did. At least they will not worry much. I am happy, happy with all that I’ve learned.
Then when I am thinking, I should not worry about something that I could not see it sign yet, for example marriage. If I was tackle by many guys, maybe I should put it in my priority list. But it seems I don’t have to worry about that yet. Let‘s other people who questioning me worry about that.
For me, our objective in life is not achieved simply by getting married. If that so, is it mean our life is destroyed when we divorce? I would like to appreciate everything around me. Our life is simple if we think so. Every little thing that happen around me makes me wants to work harder.
Being a wife, mother is really big responsibility. I don’t want to take that because of afraid being lonely or because other people asked me. If I want to get married, it is because I want to. I don’t want to decide and then regret. I want my family will be happy for me and I want to accept them as they are. So many people are regretting in their life. I don’t want to be the one. If my husband divorced me, I will not regret marrying him. I will not blame anyone, because it is my decision in first place. I hope I can be strong more than that.
I did not mean I hate marriage. If I get married I will be happy, if not I want to be happy too. I want to be happy for every single day. I want to love everybody. That’s it. There lot things I must accomplish before someone ask me to be his wife. Right now, let’s be thankful in our situation. Que Sera Sera….
Mom: “Why don’t you search someone who can take care of you?”
Me: “Why do I? I can take care of myself”
Mom:”Then I will pray hard for you”
Me:*Sigh* (How can I resist my mom right?!)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Usually when people in love they shadowed by the person that they love. From little thing they do, they want almost everything including working life, they’re influence with the one they love.
It is suck sometimes when they spending their eight hours just to chat/contact with the one their love, and hand almost their work to other people. So sometimes I feel afraid of myself. Am I will become one? Will the same thing happens if I in love? They seem never see the world as reality when they in love. For example, they will argue about quality of the car, tell other people how good this car even that car is popular with its defect just because their lover used that car. Sometimes it really just sucks to ask their opinion. For example what computer should use, if you ask the people who are in this condition, usually they will appoint you the one that their lover used. Their lover is the greatest among other human. It is really suck!!
So usually I just ignore them, let them in their world even I knew the truth (For example, if their lover backstabbed behind them). My principle, “Don’t ever pick a fight with people who in love” They will declare you as their enemy who are jealous with their happiness. So it’s better way to let them experience by themselves. That will be much better.
Lesson learnt that I’ve got is, be realistic!!I hope I will not only see my lover in my whole life. There a lot of thing I should see, I should be real. This world is not made for two people; it’s created for everyone including animals and plants.
p/s:My love to cat is everlasting… he he he (I am not realistic enough)
Friday, May 18, 2007
It is neither comedy nor romance.But it focus more on how the main character grow.For example Youko Nakajima,is high school student who does not happy with herself.Her problems is common for real high school student.Always worrying about other peoples,always thinking about what others think she is.It's like she is not become herself,until want day she was captured by a guy who kneel before her and swear his loyalty.In confuse,she was brought by that guy to his world along with her two schoolmate.
She faces a lot of difficulties from outside and inside herself in this new world, and then she got to know that she is Empress of Kei.But being an empress that does not know anything about her country,betrayed by her minister and cause a lot of conflicts makes she tried to learn something from her own.She then live along with citizens in order to know about the country.
To be honest, I got a lot of lesson by watching this anime, for example "Being nice to other and betrayed by others is not related at all.I don't want to be coward by killing people because of I am afraid that they will betray me.I being nice because I want to not because I afraid about other people thinking".And their a lot of useful quote that you can use in your real life.
Here above I put picture of Youko riding her kirin,Keiki.Kirin is beast like unicorn and also can form as human.He is a guy that kneel before Youko.Kirin cannot kneel to anyone else except their Empress or Emperor.Kirin who is choose the emperor.They only serve emperor.To know more what about watch it by yourself.;-P
Friday, April 27, 2007
Today is public holiday.Yukata....But there's alot of things happen,I could not tell you what.But I woke up and did some laundry and have very long bath.
Then I went out window shopping alone.That's it the best thing to do when something bad happens.Wondering around alone,giving a space to myself to think ...You should do it too, then let your self lingering with the sadness.
Then I see interesting video shop,actually for first time I quite afraid to enter.
Because the location is not really strategic,I never thought that there will be a quite big video
shop at that place, near with clinic and workshop.But there's alot of video, and we can rent the
video after sign up for membership.I end up rent 3 movies, Final Fantazy VII,Nana and BarnYard
with total RM 40,minus RM 30 for membership fee.
Then I spent my whole day wacthing the movies.I 'm not really enjoy Nana and Barnyard.Nana is love story and for me BarnYard is not funny.I don't even laugh, maybe just not my type.
But I love to watch FFVII, not because of the story(sure because it is not story,it's game based)But I enjoy to watch really fantastic CGI effect.Tifa so beautiful even the bad boy also handsome.
The worker at the video shop that I can rent for 5 days because I rented a lot, but it seems that I finished the whole 3 movies in just one day.They don't know me?!!I m really into anime actually but it quite expensive so I just decide to download it from internet although sometimes it toook one week to
complete downloading 1 episode.. (O_o)~~ What to do....
(0_^)~:Arigato ...Here I upload image that I captured, I cannot upload all.Save the space for others..
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Sorry Dewa ..I am so stress that accidentally I sang the song in the weird way..
Detik.. detik berganti dengan detik
Menitpun silih berganti
Hari-hari pun terus berganti
Bulan-bulan juga terus berganti
Jaman-jaman pun terus berubah
**Dan aku masih di sini mengadap *Notebook*
Error yang tidak berkesudahan**
Hidup ini juga pasti mati
Tapi bilakah error ini settle???
Semua ini pasti akan musnah
Jikalau aku tak memikirkan duit
Sudah lama kucampak notebook ini ke lombong
Tetapi tidak kerana aku tak ada duit
Karena aku sang hamba sahaya
Malam malam diganti dengan pagi
Pagipun jadi siang
Tahun-tahunpun berganti abad
Yang mudapun pasti menjadi tua
Musim-musim pun terus berganti
Bilakah error ini akan settle?
Hidup ini juga pasti mati
Tak akan ada yang abadi
Tak akan ada yang kekal
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Kill to be be alive?!What planet that we are living now?Is it planet that crowded with ‘the best brain’ creature.We can do anything like other creatures did.We can fly as fast as bird even we don’t have wing.We don’t have to be superman to fly.We can explore and conquer the sea as fish even we don’t have fin.We can lead all other creature but do we clever enough
Membunuh untuk hidup.Di planet manakah kita tinggal sekarang?Bukankah di planet bumi yang dipenuhi ‘best made creature’?Kita adalah makhluk yang mampu membuat apa sahaja hanya dengan akal yang mendiam di dalam kepala kita.Kita mampu terbang malah lebih hebat dari burung tanpa memerlukan sayap.Kita mampu menguasai lautan yang luas tanpa memerlukan sirip.Kita tak perlu berdoa untuk menjadi ‘little mermaid’ atau superman.Kita boleh menawan apa sahaja di dunia malah di luar planet sana.Tapi sayangnya selain itu kita juga menggunakan akal untuk berbunuhan sesame sendiri.Malang sekali apabila kita putus akal dengan berfikir hanya berbunuhan kita dapat teruskan kehidupan.Cetek bukan?Memanglah hidup tak semudah disangka, dan ianya kekadang tak dapat dielakkan.Tapi jika ada pilihan,tentulah kita tidak mahu?
Atau sebenarnya manusia mempunyai rasa takut?Jika tidak membunuh ,kita akan dibunuh?Kita semua akan mati, cuma lambat atau cepat.Dan apa bezanya lambat atau cepat?Apa untungnya ?Banyak persoalan yang tak terjawab.Hidup adalah persoalan dan kita berusaha mencari jawapannya?Dapatkah?
Ingin hidup dalam dunia yang aman mungkin satu mimpi yang tak berkesudahan.Setiap yang lahir mempunyai impian yang sama, tapi bukan itu yang terjadi sekarang.Waktu kanak-kanak kita bergaduh berebutkan mainan atau coklat.Dan kita ketawa bila mengenangkan kanak-kanak yang cetek akalnya.Tapi perang yang berlaku sekarang kenapa?Berebutkan sesuatu juga kan?Kanak-kanak dan dewasa sama sahaja kan?Cuma bila seorang budak marah mungkin dia akan menggigit atau mencakar, dan yang dewasa mungkin lebih professional lagi akan mengebom, dan membunuh lagi ramai(Profesional?)
Aku di Malaysia, mungkin tak ada bom di sini.Tapi kekadang terasa juga bunga-bunga kebencian yang kekadang terpercik.Hidup ramai dan pelbagai kaum yang berbeza, memang ada cabarannya.Tapi adakah kita mahu dunia ini dikuasai oleh satu kaum sahaja.Just imagine?Kalau di sana sini semuanya sama, takkan ada industry pelancongan.Buat apa melancong jika tak ada perbezaan untuk dirasai.Semua sama sajakan.Bukankah Tuhan mengatakan diciptakan pelbagai bangsa untuk saling berkenal-kenalan. The different was created to be celebrated, right?
Unid: I pray that we will not fight, never. And I still wish that I can live in harmony planet.
Friday, February 23, 2007
I kicked the door,
My glass slipper broke,
and I also tore my dress
Hey, it's disgusting, isn't it?
Even if I chase you, you won't come
Tears fill up my eyes
and I can't run anymore
Maybe it's jealousy... I'm s-a-d...!!
"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...I'm Breaking my heart
I want you to find me and hold me now
My headlights are shining
...where are you Bad boy?
I wipe away my tears with the scarf of love
and I can't see anything
I want to gather up the stardust
and throw them at you
Why should I care?
You can't love anyone but yourself...
Maybe it's heartbreak... For real...?!
"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Aku surf friendster dan membaca message lama,especially from arwah.Entah kenapa?Rindu mungkin.Dengan keramahannya setiap kali aku melepak di biliknya.Kelantangan ketika kami meeting project.Tiba-tiba jadi rindu.Mungkin anda yang pernah mengenalinya akan merinduinya paling tidak sesekali.
Umurnya sebaya aku, muda lagi bukan?Benarlah ajal adalah milik Tuhan.Kekadang kita beria-ria merancang hidup selama mungkin tapi siapalah yang tahu esok atau sebentar lagi?Mohon pada Tuhan sentiasa menerima kita dengan baik,memelihara kita,menyayangi kita.Dan berdoa semoga kita tidak tergelincir dari jalanNya.
Dulu aku pernah menulis tentang semut.Alhamdulillah ramai yang memberi response positif.Ada yang meminta copy tapi aku dah hilangkan softcopynya.Dan aku tak terdaya untuk menulisnya semula.Tapi siapa sangka, hari ini aku asyik membelek message yang pernah ditulis oleh arwah,terdapat juga yang disertakan bersama tulisanku.Thanks che minah.I miss you.Pada kawan-kawan yang ingin membaca tulisan burukku hampir empat tahun lalu, silakan.Harap sudi disedekahkan doa kepada arwah Che Minah. Terima kasih
Humm…pagi lebih kurang kul 2.45 pagi,27 Sept 03..
Aku still melangut depan pc member…dengar lagu ganas tapi layan jiwang(tah haper2 tah).. Kat rumah just tinggal aku ngn member berdua,member aku yg lain balik kampung.Member aku fiza dah tido layan mimpi…Aku?Aku takleh tidoo..memikirkan byk perkara..Kelemahan aku yg utama adalah terlebih berpk..Berpk bende2 yg berpaedah takpele jugakk..Ini pk bende yg bukan2..tah bile le aku leh ubah tabiat buruk nih…
Tengah aku berduka nestapa malam tuh…tetiba je ternampak seekor semut..Humm..semut kat dlmdapur (apa lagi..mesti semut ni ngah mengepau makanan kat rumah aku)Semut tuh berjalan berpusing2..pastu patah balikk..Pastu pusing balikkk, kat tempat yg sama plak tuhh..Sekali tgk semut nih macam tawaf je, dua kali tenguk cam semut gile le plak semut nihh..Naik pening plak kepala aku tgk semut kecik nan seekornihh…..atas majalah yg aku ngh belek plak tuhh… Tup2..semut tuhh sambung jalan balik..Hek eleellele..semut nihh..Assal le dia tak jalan terus je tadi, berpusing2 buat aper..Kalo jln terus je kan senang, shortcut je takyah buang masa..
Tetiba aku terdiam,terasa cam semut tuh bercakap ngn aku plak.. ‘ unid, ikut hati mmg aku nak jalan je trus..tanak pusing2..Tapi aku tak dapat hidu jalan aku, so sebab tu tadi aku berpusing2 cari jalan..bila aku confuse aku patah balik jln asal, and dr situ aku try cari balik jalan yg betul… Memang aku buang masa saja berpusing2..tapi apa daya..aku nih semut, aku tak nampak macam mana structure jln dapur nihh..So itule yg kene aku buat..Mmg nampak cam aku buang masa,tapi sekurang2 nya aku dah berusaha”..Dan semut tuh terus jln…
Pagi tuh aku menangiss..(nangis je hobi die) Nangis pasal malu kat semut kecik tuhh…Semuttuh kecil jerr..tapi berani betul dia jalan sesorang (sesekor) kat kawasan dapur yg besar tuh (besarle bagi seekor semut)..Tak terpk ke risiko nye tinggi, ye le buatnye aku terpijak ke, ataukene sembur ngn ridsect ke…..Humm..terpk balik yg aku nih manusia..Tuhan kasi aku akal n anggotasempurna tapi still takut..Padahal Tuhan sentiasa ada di sisi aku, tunggu jer aku ngadu kat Dia… Teruk betul aku nihh….
Pagi tuhh..aku nangis lagi tulih pasal semut tuh dlm diari…n semut tu terus jln selambarjerr atas diari (diari le kut) aku…dan terus hilang lepas ke mana….~~~truly-unid
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
My x roommate, Siti who will get married on this coming Chinese New Year slept at my house.Today our plan with my x housemate,classmate to hanging out together.We had breakfast at NZ Curry House.Nasi Lemak is the best,you should not eat too often.High colestrol.
First place we went is Zoo Negara.Maybe for certain people is quite funny to visit the kid’s dream place.But not for me who really into Animal Planet.My last visit at Zoo Negara when I was 5 years old.The smell of zoo sometimes killing my nose.Luckily we were not plan to have picnic there.But the sad thing is the animals does not look happy. I am not sure whether it is only my feeling or it is true. The water flow is not seem healthy. I think that is one reason why it is not smell nice. The animal inside there is is slim, look like they have special diet.I have feeling like watching animal inside prison rather in the zoo.
Penguin, I count 3 penguins which slim and clumsy. Watching the animal inside here makes me want to cry. Then we watch elephant show and multi animal show. Some animals are not able to perform. I am not sure what the reason. The weather was not sunny maybe. On my way back, I am just wondering how to improve our national zoo. Money is the main problem I think. If you have money then you can develop sophisticated facilities to make those animals happy.
Maybe for certain people, it is waste to help animal. There’s a lot of people need our help. Hellloooooo…excuse me. The earth is not belongs only to human. It’s older than us, so how we claim the thing that existed before us as ours. Who belongs to whom actually? We just as a guard, khalifah or leader to ensure that this earth will last forever peacefully. The other creature does not have super power brain like we do. But sometimes they act better than us. Don’t become selfish, help the nature means help us. The reason of global warming is not that animal false, it is us. We should feel ashamed to ourselves.
I am not blaming Zoo Negara; thanks to their effort we still can watch those animals. But I think we should figure out to help them. I read the brochure, volunteer is welcomed. Aha…why not?!
Then we went to Mines. Sightseeing from the boat. The mine is very big. I heard a lot of people died some of them still could not be found. The mine is not same like river or sea. It has strong magnet, therefore if something drops it will sinking deep inside the mine base. Therefore swimming is not allowed.
There‘s a lot of fish especially cat fish. You can see some of the death fish floating with the white color. The construction which is next to the lake is source of dizziness of the fishes. The fish will lack of oxygen then die. Ahh…It is human false again. It‘s inconvenient truth like title of incoming movies. Very hard to admit but yet it’s true.
The Mines it’s more beautiful at nite, so anyone who plan to sightseeing, make it nite ok. We arrived home at nite, and the plan is not stop there. We watching midnite movie, The Holiday. I was sleeping while watching. Romance movie is not really me. I love cartoon and animal documentaries better.
We completed our plan at 4 am. How tiring, I just woke up for Subuh and continue my sleep until 3 pm something. What to do, we are not meet everyday so sometimes we need to sacrifice money and time to be together.
p/s:To my friends I always pray that our friendship will last forever.
Monday, January 29, 2007
It was Saturday morning ,27 January 2006 where I just woke up after nap.Last night I slept on one a.m which is considered late.
Usually wake up at 6 something, perform Subuh prayer and then I will do some chores.But today I ended up with
sleeping after Subuh and wake up at eleven and good reason for that is I was so tired after playing volley ball
yesterday evening.I was not playing actually,I was only serving the ball but I still hurt my feet.You must warm up before playing
My friends invited me to join them watching movie,maybe horror movie and I am too tired to go.
I plan to buy some books at Kinokuniya KLCC and some Mexican buns that I wanted almost one day ago.
I was wacthing Temple of Tigers at Astro,Animal Planet.It's amazing how the tiger live peacefully take care
by the monks.The temple is located at Thailand,it's become a center of attention of researchers and tourist."Everybody can do like this,no bomb
no car bomb.Live in peace"Said the Monk leader.
Living peacefully.It's sound simple,everyone can do that.If the tiger,carnivor and human can happily together.
Why not us?Same human ...but that is theory,look at reality.All people want to fight even for stupid reason.And nobody happy for that.
No body happy.Who happy anyway?Anyone who accidentally read my blog,please pray for our peaceful world.
I keep watching Animal Planet until Zohor then get ready to go.
I entered Suria KLCC, the smell of Mexican bun surround the entrance.Many people are queing.What an astonish feeling.But I will buy it on
the way back soon.Now I will go to Kinokuniya first.
It is big book store.I startle to so many books.I used to go to MPH Alpha Angel ,but I think to broad my sight to new perspective
especially when I decided at least one book per month.When I was little I loves reading.I reading any books.Old books which used old word like
Hikayat Bakhtiar,Inderaputra and many mores.It's good habit although sometimes my father get mad cause I read academic books less than other books.
I loves journals,thriller,light loves story.But I hate story which is no point, and at last I will ask myself ,what the author try to say?What is benefit of reading?
For this time being I loves to read Dan Brown,Faisal Tehrani,Ramlee Awang Mursheed.Not many right?I hope you can suggest me good authors.
I am looking for Angels and Demond by Dan Brown and Ryu Murakami,In the Miso Soup.I imagine that the book is thick with the hard cover.
I am lost.In the mountain of books I just don't know where to start.But I start with walking around.I saw a computer with a searching system,if I could call it.
It is very easy,but unfortunately Angels and Demonds only available in hard cover edition which valued rm100 something.
I also found In the Miso Soup, the book is thin with fancy cover.I quite surprise because it's different with my imagination.I picked the book
but I need to find Sudoku book.While searching for the book,I found an interesting title book, "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson
and David Oliver Relin.It is New York Times Bestseller.The most interesting is the sypnosis.He he he,I 'll tell you after I finish reading it.
Then I am looking for Sudoku book but at last I would like to try Mensa IQ Test.To test how dumb I could be.
On the way back,I bought Mexican buns at Roti Boy after queing for five minutes.Humm..The smell is killing me.I took LRT going home ,but I stop by at Jusco.
I BOUGHT A JUICER,the cheapest one.I want to practice drinking juice everymorning.I hope that is not for while,I hope it will lasting as my routine.
Working at KL,with less green that I used to see at my village makes me sick.I hope this will cure me.
That's all my story about boring Saturday.Actualy my finger is tired of typing and my mind locked up.Sorry about that.
Monday, January 22, 2007
20 Januari 2007
Sudah lama aku berhenti menulis .Kadang-kadang rasa tak mampu menguruskan masa.Allah memberi masa yang sama kepada manusia ,terpulanglah kepada kita sama ada bijak atau tidak untuk menguruskannya.Kita semua diberi mepunyai 24 jam sehari.
Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian kecuali mereka yang beramal soleh.
Bila diintai kembali tahun 2006 banyak yang aku sudah terlepas peluang.Tiada diari menarik untuk dirujuk.Tapi masa umpama air yang mengalir,tidak akan melawan arusnya.Yang berlalu biarkanlah,jangan pula masa yang mendatang kita habisi dengan ratapan sesalan.Yang penting belajar dan terus mencuba.
Tahun 2007 bagiku agak menarik,awal Muharam di dalam Januari jadi terasa aura sambutan tahun baru dikongsi semua bangsa.Aku mula bekerja di tempat baru,lebih mencabar,lebih menyeronokkan harapnya.
Berada dalam keadaan sekarang sudah bercukup berjaya bagiku.Mungkin bagi sesetengah orang mendapat pangkat lebih tinggi atau lebih kaya dianggap kejayaan.Tapi sebenarnya hari ini adalah kejayaan kerana kita telah berusaha untuk ke hari ini.Kehidupan bukanlah sesuatu tentang kejayaan atau kegagalan tapi sentiasa mencuba.
Kalah menang bukanlah isu yang penting tapi sejauh mana kita berusaha mencapainya.Kalau kita berusaha hangat-hangat tahi ayam maka patutlah kekalahan itu dipelajari tetapi jika kita berjaya tanpa berusaha berhati –hatilah.Kerana hidup kita akan menjadi kosong,nikmat kejayaan itu takkan terasa nikmatnya.Ada yang berkata kejayaan itu tiada berkatnya.Tetapi kalau kita berusaha separuh mati ,tiada kejayaan yang muncul janganlah kita bersusah hati.Setiap kesusahan pasti diiringi kesenangan itu janji Tuhan.Kalau tak dapat di sini pasti ada di sana.
Aku bersyukur hari ini,tersangat bersyukur kerana Allah mengajarku banyak perkara selama ini.Segala kesusahan yang dulu sangat dibenci kini menjadi satu mimpi dan nikmat pula.Segala yang lepas adalah pelajaran sebab itu munculnya sejarah.
Waktu susah masa kecil aku sekeluarga makan bubur kerana ketiadaan wang.Bila dikenang terasa macam terharu,rasa macam mau menangis pula.Tetapi emakku sangat kuat.’Selagi mak belum mati,kamu mesti belajar’Itu azamnya.Dia pernah bekerja di kilang kayu sehingga termuntah darah,di kilang seterika sehingga darah tingginya naik disebabkan bahang.Dan sekarang bekerja di kilang sardin.
Kekuatannya membuatkan aku kagum.Ajaib sungguh perempuan yang bergelar ibu.Aku pernah berputus asa.Mahu berhenti belajar dengan alasan untuk menolongnnya,tetapi dilarang keras “Kalau along sayangkan mak,belajarlah rajin-rajin”.Hendak tak hendak aku belajar walaupun kasihan melihat dia berkerja keras.Alasannya sekarang tidak mahu aku menyara adik-adik seorang diri.Mulianya pekertimu,semoga sentiasa dirahmati.
Aku sendiri terpaksa bekerja untuk memasuki universiti,kalau tidak manalah hendak dikorek duit sewa kereta,buku dan permulaan semester.Hendak mendaftar pun perlukan duit.Terasa negaraku miskin kerana pendidikan pun masih hendak diniagakan.Kalaulah pendidikan itu bebas dan percuma mungkin tukang cuci tandas pun bijak pandai.Bila negara dipenuhi orang yang bijak pandai,bayangkan betapa kayanya negara tersebut.
Sekarang sudah 2007,syukur aku punya sedikit duit untuk disumbangkan.Mendapat pekerjaan tetap malah diberi laptop yang berkuasa 1.5 G Ram dan 90 HD sudah cukup banyak.Malah aku sendiri sanggup mengeluarkan duit sendiri untuk membeli beg galas.Nampaknya insyaAllah hidupku tahun ini bukan sahaja terisi dengan programming tetapi banyak perkara yang boleh lagi dipelajari dan dilakukan dengan teman baruku ini.Hari cuti jika ada idea mungkin aku boleh berkongsi bersama-sama rakan-rakan.Jika tak ada aral mungkin aku akan beli kamera digital,yang murah pun jadilah asalkan hatiku puas.Banyak majlis kahwin yang perlu dihadiri,terasa rugi pula tak ada gambar.
Tahun ini aku merancang untuk menjadi aktif,aku berharap banyak pameran dan program dijalankan waktu cuti,jadi bolehlah aku mengisi tahun ini dengan pelbagai perkara berfaedah.Maklumlah sudah tua kan.Umur takkan berundur.Jika umur panjang dan ada rezeki aku teringin menyambung pelajaran ke peringkat yang lebih tinggi.Doakanlah ya.
Begitu juga dengan keluargaku.Terutama adik-adikku yang tujuh orang itu.Diharapkan sentiasa dirahmati dan berjaya.Jadi apa azam baru anda?