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Monday, December 14, 2009

weirdo

lately a lot of weird thing happens
i was screwed up with postponed seminar without my knowledge
it makes me think more than twice should i continue my master program at kl or not
i bought new handphone at last... after may be almost 7 years using the same handphone
just to cure my heart pain maybe ...but it didn't

and i felt i was forced to do something that i never did before this.and seriously
it hurt.i am human and not animal so forcing is not my thing.

and other weirdo thing that makes me want to cry and maybe act like haywire.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

typo


type : exit;

nothing happen

type :bye;
nothing happen
.
.
.
Stop typing just close the window!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

victim

goosebumps .i can’t focus. i ‘ m mad, sad plus confuse.it happens so fast until i myself forget how it was.is this for real?
am i a victim?
after office hour, go buy burgers.i eat then i cry. am i a victim?
i can’t even tell people about it.is that a symptom of being a victim?
and i think i got a lot of goose bumps not because of the aircond.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Awek Cun dan Q

Hari masuk gaji memang mudah dijangka tatkala orang bersesak di bank.Unid pun termasuk dalam golongan yang beratur mengadap cash deposit untuk membayar sewa rumah dan segala.
Bank BCB Kulim sesak dan Unid seriously penat sebab beratur dan berasak dari petang ke senja.Tatkala giliran Unid nak sampai menunggu seorang lagi turn tetiba ada awek cun muncul ntah dari mana betul-betul depan Unid.
Awek tu memang cun melecun tapi Unid langsung tak percaya yang dia boleh berdiri depan Unid, memotong line padahal berlambak-lambak lagi yang beratur kat belakang Unid.Rasanya q sangat jelas, semua orang nampak dan perasan. Unid blur , serba salah and dia perasan yang Unid merenung dia cam tak percaya.Serius I cannot believe it. Tak perasan ke orang beratur panjang.
Mungkin dia perasan Unid merenungnya, maka dia pun berbasa basi. “Nak guna machine cash deposit ke?” tanyanya lembut.
Unid blur. “Iya.Yang beratur panjang kat belakang saya ni semua nak guna mesin ni.” Unid cuba memberi hint yang dia sedang memotong q.
Tapi dia buat dono jer.Bila turn Unid sampai, cepat-cepat Unid gi guna mesin tuh dan dia pun paham yang Unid memang takkan bagi chance punya.Bukan tanak, kalau Unid kasi kat dia nanti apa pula kata orang belakang.Kalo orang tak ramai takper la.Lagipun dah malam dah tunggu dari petang tadi dan sorry I am not good girl.
So dia pun berdiri di belakang Unid.Sambil tekan ATM Unid terdengar suara lelaki.”Adik ..adik nak guna mesin cash deposit ke?”Rasanya lelaki itu antara orang yang beratur di belakang Unid.
“Ye.”Gadis itu menjawab lembut.
“Kalau macam tuh, beratur la ye.Ramai orang duk beratur ni.” Tegur lelaki tersebut.
“Ohh..iye ke.”kata gadis tersebut, terus beratur mengikut teguran.
Saat Unid keluar dari bank, gadis itu antara yang beratur di belakang.Dan bayangkanlah kalau ada orang lain pula yang memotong barisan.Aduh.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Bonanza dan Parari

Aku mengadu sakit mulut dekat emak.
“Cuba pakai Bonanza tuh..lega sakit mulut.”Kata emak.

“Bonanza ..”Aku terblur …Bonanza tu apa pula, sampailah terlintas di kepalaku.”Bonjela kut mak?”

“Haah…Bonjela.”

Aduh…emak.

**************************************************


Emak membebel apabila pencakar sampahnya hancur digilis jip company yang dipandu adik.

“Ini baru Pajero, belum lagi Parari.Kalo Parari habis sekali ngan kita pun digilis.” Bebelnya.

Adik aku yang mendengar blur. “Parari ke Ferrari?”

“Parari ke Ferrari ke asal muha(kamu semua) paham sudahlah.”Kata emak.

Aduh…emak.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bee at last got her task

Yayyyy.....Miss Bee kembali beezy. Happy working time.So let's work work until drunk ...


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

my happy beezy day

who said that u can enjoy if u don't have any work at office?

i m programmer...usually office hour is packed with coding stuff suddenly there's nothing to code.only do some research.

i free as i always wished for but i m not happy.it's been two days i was lingering around the net...until muntah.bored.

first i did some research then i surf everything start from code then beauty anything.SAAS, java , some charity website,music,mascara goes to lipbalm and bla bla...
man...i can't enjoy goyang kaki at office.

who said that playing during office hour is the best? i said we should play while we work...ermm..work while play?whatever but must both not only one.
play and work are both important.

and at last...to cure my boringness...i wrote this entry.

humm...how i miss my happy busy day

Monday, November 9, 2009

Nightmare

I can’t sleep properly lately. I can’t switch off the light because I can’t stand the darkness but I can’t sleep with the light on either. It’s creepy; I think it happens since I got nightmare. Like someone pulling my legs.
At last, I bought a small rabbit lamp. A rabbit that holding a match happily. At least it gives me a little light so I won’t be so afraid. My friends told me that I might be stress due to work, but I don’t think so. I don’t think that my work is so stressful even though I need to stay longer time at the office.
I look at mirror and think who will get the reward. I wonder… who will get the reward? It will not last forever, because it has time limitation.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

At that time...

Their family was too poor. The only person that worked hard is the mother. She was working every day and night for her children. She was the person who wake up earliest and the last person who sleep.

Despites of their poverty, they love animal, but sometimes they didn't have much food to give. They have a cat with small kittens.

A mama cat knew that she could not depend on this family .So mama cat sometimes went out to the shop and stealing some food. One day mama cat brought a plastic bag of fishes. This family could not figure out where the cat got the fishes.

But, they were very poor. At last, the mother decided to cook some fish that was stolen by mama cat.

They were very poor at that time…

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Fair

The scenario ... pretty girl loves rich boy.rich boy loves pretty girl.prettier girl will find the richer boy.richer boy will find the prettier girl.

rich boy and pretty girl.money and beauty.the game is fair and square.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Ibu, bapa dan anak

Baru jer abis tengok cerekarama tajuk al-Kiswah. Jangan terkejut jika cerita itu memang kebanyakannya terjadi dalam masyarakat kita.
Bila ada anak yang mengabaikan ibu bapa dengan mudahnya kita akan menuduh si anak itu derhaka , si tanggang dan pelbagai cemuhan tetapi jarang di antara kita yang menyiasat benarkan anak itu memang berhati kejam atau sebenarnya tindak balasnya berdasarkan benci yang tak tertahan-tahan.
Kita boleh memilih isteri suami malah merancang anak, tetapi bolehkah anak memilih kita?Ibu bapa kadang-kadang mahu membesarkan anak mengikut pelan, tetapi terlupa tentang kasih sayang, kadang-kadang menjadikan anak seorang yang mungkin patuh tetapi hatinya penuh dendam.
Dan ada ibu bapa yang terlebih kasih sayang sehingga anak naik lemak.Memang susah nak didik anak kan?
Pernah dulu heboh berita cerita tentang seorang anak mengabaikan bapanya.Satu Malaysia rasanya heboh, maka berduyun-duyunlah orang mengecamnya.Sampai si anak itu berkata, bapa aku ini meninggalkan kami sekeluarga,langsung tak pernah pedulikan nasib kami.Ibulah yang bersusah payah membesarkan kami.
Apa nak dikata?Mungkin ada yang berkata, apa pun dia tetap bapa kamu. Aku fikir bukan senang hendak melupakan trauma waktu kecil. Jika seorang gadis dirogol oleh ayahnya waktu kanak-kanak, adakah di waktu dewasa dia akan semudah itu memaafkan ayahnya. Susah bukan? Kalau tak kena batang hidung sendiri senang la cakap ya.
Ada orang berkata ibu bapa boleh bela sepuluh orang anak, sepuluh orang anak belum tentu boleh bela ibu bapa mereka? Betul, jika anak buat hal , degil ibu bapa dengan senangnya merotan, tapi jika ibu bapa buat salah bukanlah mudah untuk menegur mereka kan?
Susah kan? Diluah mati emak , ditelan mati bapa.Semoga Tuhan menjadikan kita yang terbaik.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hilang

Jam tangan.Sejak petang Ahad hari tu aku tidak memakainya.Hilang.Ibu kata ada dalam beg tanganku, tapi puas dicari tapi tak ada. Aku cuba hidup tanpa jam tangan tapi memangnya rasa kosong.Kosong sangat.

Terlalu lama bersama langsung tak perasan kehadirannya begitu bermakna.Bukannya tak boleh beli yang baru tapi barang yang lama ada kalanya lama dipakai makin sayang.

Dalam aku memikirkan di mana lah agaknya jam tangan tersebut dan memikirkan apakah harus kubuat untuk mendapatkannya kembali, aku kerling di belakang tempat duduk belakang kereta. Jam tersebut betul-betul di bawah kusyen belakang.

Lega sangat.Alangkah leganya mendapatkan barang yang dicari.Bagus kan perasaan mendapat semula apa yang hilang?

Berhari-hari aku dan kawanku memikirkan di manakah Kulim Avenue kerana ada kedai baru bakal dibuka menjual peralatan sukan.Dan hari ini saat aku selesai menyarungkan jam tangan ku, di sebelah kiri jalan terpampang nama kedai tersebut dengan beberapa orang sedang memunggah sesuatu.Ohh..ini rupanya kedai tersebut.

Petang ini aku begitu senang, jam yang hilang telah dijumpai dan juga misteri di manakah Kulim Avenue selesai dalam masa yang sama.

Pelik kan?Jikalah apa yang kita selama ini kita inginkan datang tanpa disangka-disangka.Namun selalunya perkara seperti ini jarang terjadi.Alangkah bertuahnya jika …

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Original

When I was stopping by at laundry shop I saw something like this,

Formatting PC and Window XP/Vista application – RM40

Wrote on A4 paper and pasted on the wall.

“Is this using original Windows?” I asked the shop owner.

“No. But we can crack it to make it original.”

First time in my life I heard that we can make something original by cracking it. :)


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Entahlah

Tetiba jer aku cakap kat hosmet aku yang aku teringin nak makan roti canai ngan teh tarik kat kedai mamak.Sepanjang setahun lebih aku duduk kerja kat Kulim rasanyer tak pernah lagi aku lepak minum teh tarik mamak.

Lepas cuti seminggu raya, at least aku nak enjoy free time sebab mungkin mulai minggu ni aku akan sibuk dengan kerja dan kelas.Banyak benda yang nak dibuat dan aku kena plan betul-betul.

Mungkin tahun depan aku akan lagi sibuk, tapi entahla.Whatever aku harap all the best.Lately aku asyik condemn diri sendiri saja.Yang tak eloknya bila mengcondemn diri sendiri ni ianya membuatkan aku down.Tapi bila nak dipuji pulak, aku akan tanya diri sendiri bagus benar ke aku ni?see no answer for that.

Orang selalu cakap orang baik selalu diuji.Dan aku tanya diri sendiri adakah aku orang yang baik?Aku sendiri pun takde jawapan.Yang layak menilai aku adalah keluarga dan kawan-kawan.Dan semenjak aku duduk kat sini aku rasa aku dah hilang penilai.So aku menilai diri sendiri jadi mungkin sebab tuh aku asyik menyalahkan diri sendiri.Pendek kata aku blur ngan hidup aku dan hilang arah untuk seketika.

Member aku bertanya,”Why not u come back here, at KL?Your friends is all here.”

Aku diam.Sebetulnya jika aku rindukan KL, maknanya aku rindukan kawan-kawan, is not the place itself.Walaupun aku tau kalau aku balik KL mungkin aku asyik memerap jer kat rumah sebab aku bukanlah kaki lepak, tapi aku suka melepak cuma bukan kaki jer la.

Dan dekat Kulim pun bukannya buruk sangat.Kalau orang cakap kat KL banyak orang jahat, aku akan cakap kat sini pun apa kurangnya.Yang buruk bukan tempat tapi orang, so memana sebenarnya sama saja.

Kat sini heaven sebab family aku dekat, baik pun ada buruk pun ada.Baik sebab aku leh jaga family buruknya aku macam takde ruang untuk diri sendiri.Nak buat apa pun consider family.Pastu cost of living rendah.

Kalau nak cakap luas pemikiran tuh aku rasa mungkin KL provide lebih sikit.Sebab nyer ia sibuk, mencabar, jumpa ramai orang dan semua knowledge event ada kat sana, nak belajar senang.Kat Kulim tak ada benda-benda macam tu, nak cari kelas berenang pun sampai sekarang tak dapat.

Mungkin sebenarnya aku dah jemu dengan kedua-duanya.Buat masa sekarang biarlah jawapannya ‘entahlah’.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

raya 2009

Raya tahun ini.Well lebih meriah dari tahun dari tahun-tahun lepas.Ada cerita sedih ada yang happy.Tapi orang datang rumah sampai raya ke enam, sampai semua cordial termasuk ketupat dan segala macam habis licin.Biasa la kawan-kawan parent ngan adik-adik.Penat ada, happy ada sedih pun ada.
Pergi melawat pusara mereka yang tiada dan terpikir bila pula aku ke sana dan apakah nasib ku nanti.
Kebanyakan dalam kepala otak aku sekarang adalah benda-benda yang negative yang sedih yang malas aku nak tulis.Mungkin sebab tuh aku stop seketika sebab aku blank.
Hidup di dunia ini penuh suka dan duka, jika menangis biarkanlah.Bukankah kita ini belajar?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Reality

Some people said, if you sad...you will be sad alone, but if you smile, the whole world will smile with you.I guess I don't want to be alone.I guess,reality is painful afterall.

Say cheese everyone :)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

motherlode

My life and my sim

My life - poor, lonely, workhard

My sim - rich, being loved and just do whatever she likes.

Hummm..if i can type motherlode in my life !

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wonderland

Alice... eat that mushroom and it will make you forget
Bad memory is nothing, it only waste your brain space
Remove it so you can store the new one

So Alice, don't worry...there's no more pain after this
Just eat it slowly and your pain will fade away
Once you wake up, you will never remember those nightmares
as you sleep without dreams

So eat it, the taste might be bitter but that is the cure
Sooner you will forget the taste and that's when you get your freedom.

...Where can I find that mushroom?

Friday, August 7, 2009

I m shrinking

I am shrinking lately. I am tired,lost appetite. My work become unmanageable. I worked maybe more than five days a week.And I only have two nights free which sometimes I can't utilize it properly.

I m not complaining, but I believe that I need to manage it properly.Tonight I ponteng kelas. I hope those kids understand and they always understanding.Teacher owed you alot , sorry .....

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Coklat

Sungguh manisnya hidup bagaikan coklat.

Ucapkanlah terima kasih pabila melihat matahari di waktu pagi
Ucapkanlah terima kasih kerana bekerja di siang hari
Ucapkanlah terima kasih andai dapat tidur di hari Ahad
Ucapkanlah terima kasih kerana dapat senyum walaupun tidak berbedak
Ucapkanlah terima kasih pada ibu yang sentiasa merindu

Manisnya hidup ini bagaikan coklat

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Honor that we were talking about ...

Honor? We are talking about honor today. When statement came out, “Women should get married to get their honor.” I just keep quite. That’s mean I don’t have any honor yet.
Deep down in my heart I am feeling sad. Anything I did such taking care of my family, completed my study, enhancing my career are like nothing. I still don’t get my honor yet.
Then I wonder, our culture we talk about how big the wedding celebration and even we postpone the wedding just because we want to have like Cinderella wedding and we feel shame if we cannot afford the big event. But do we care about our daughter who hanging out with guys with no status. Our dignity is not concerned about that I believe.
Our dignity also talked about unmarried woman but we forget a lot of couple forced to get married earlier because they already made love before that and the girl get pregnant, so just to cover their honor. You can see yourself, how many babies dump on the road as a proof of love. If making love does not result pregnancy I believe that most of couple will not get married. Still we talking about other people dignity and forget about ours. We too concern about other people and forget about us.
I was live in this society and see sometimes why in religion it sound simple but why in the reality we rushing to completed something that not even in the religion and then claim that we are religious.
For example, marriage process should be simpler easier and it state in religion rule, but we added a lot of unnecessary thing and claim it is religious. See, we gain our dignity in different way.Honor? We are talking about honor today. When statement came out, “Women should get married to get their honor.” I just keep quite. That’s mean I don’t have any honor yet.
Deep down in my heart I am feeling sad. Anything I did such taking care of my family, completed my study is like nothing. I still don’t get my honor yet.
Then I wonder, our culture we talk about how big the wedding celebration and even we postpone the wedding just because we want to have like Cinderella wedding and we feel shame if we cannot afford the big event. But do we care about our daughter who hanging out with guys with no status. Our dignity is not concerned about that I believe.
Our dignity also talked about unmarried woman but we forget a lot of couple forced to get married earlier because they already made love before that and the girl get pregnant, so just to cover their honor. You can see yourself, how many babies dump on the road as a proof of love. If making love does not result pregnancy I believe that most of couple will not get married. Still we talking about other people dignity and forget about ours. We too concern about other people and forget about us.
I was live in this society and see sometimes why in religion it sound simple but why in the reality we rushing to completed something that not even in the religion and then claim that we are religious.
For example, marriage process should be simpler easier and it state in religion rule, but we added a lot of unnecessary thing and claim it is religious. See, we gain our dignity in different way.
When the statement that woman should get married in order to gain their honor. I just wonder why my honor needs to depend on other people. Can’t I pursuing my honor myself? We did something in order to gain from other people and we forget whether the process is getting that honor is honorable or not.
I believe my honor is not depending on other people, it’s depending on me, myself. If I get married, is not because of honor, it is love ok.
When the statement that woman should get married in order to gain their honor. I just wonder why my honor needs to depend on other people. Can’t I pursuing my honor myself? We did something in order to gain from other people and we forget whether the process is getting that honor is honorable or not.
I believe my honor is not depending on other people, it’s depending on me, myself. If I get married, is not because of honor, it is love ok.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Zero Gravity

I scared of height. Since I was little I hate escalator, lift and those things that not grounded except swing.
I ran away from escalator whenever my parent wants to use it, my mom need to chase me here and there while I was shouting like a crazy kid.
Now even I can handle it, I still scare. But even that I wonder how it feels like zero gravity. Floating.
I wish …

Monday, July 27, 2009

Rationally Negative

Who am I to hope for something that never happen
Who am I to dream
Who am I to ...

.
.
.

I am not negative, but I try my best to be rational.
Can you see, I force my self to stay awake instead of dreaming?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Untuk pendengar senyapku

Hai kawan-kawan! Apa khabar?
Unid kat sini biasa jer sihat.Maybe I already adapted life style here.
Dulu kat KL, kalau weekend unid tak kerja, Unid pi jogging kat Taman Tasik Titiwang.Dekat jer, kalo tak jam maybe dalam 15 minit jer.Sesorang tak pun ngan my roommate.
Kat sini, kalau tak kerja Unid banyak menda lain.Sibuk memanjang.Uruskan family, pergi kelas dan pelbagai lagi.Humm.kalau unid takde apa-apa nak dibuat selalu unid cari jugak apa-apa untuk dibuat.So kalau member nak ajak pegi memana diorang kena book dulu. :P
Shopping?Unid dekat KL jarang sangat shopping baju.Tapi kat sini dah selalu.Mungkin sebab bosan kut.Tapi bila pikir-pikir unid dah bosan dah, pakai jer la apa yang ada.
Yang unid risau sekarang ni unid jarang sangat bersenam.Kurang bersenam maksudnyer nanti jadi tak sihat.
Kat sini unid selalu jugak stress, kalau dekat KL tanggungjawab tu kurang kat sini banyak.Sampai kekadang terpikir jika orang lain ada masalah diorang cari unid tapi kalau unid ada masalah?Siapalah yang nak tolong.Rasa sedih jugak la kekadang.Tapi macam biasa nasihat hipokrit, kuatkan semangat tabahkan hati.
Biasalah semua benda ada buruk ada baik.Mungkin kita boleh mengamuk , marah dan menangis tapi akhirnya kita akan terpikir kenapa kita masih hidup?Tentu ada sesuatu yang kita tak tahu.(Hipokrit lagi)
Unid sekarang dalam proses untuk meningkatkan lagi kareer.Mungkin dalam ilmu pengetahuan.Mungkin ramai yang sekarang dalam prosess untuk mendapat tanggungjawab baru, bina keluarga. Tahniah. Nasib orang masing-masing tak sama, prinsip pun mungkin tak sama.Yang pasti semua orang cari yang terbaik dengan cara tersendiri.
Unid sendiri selalu tertanya ke mana nasib unid.Selalu tanya sama Tuhan where I will be?Unid ikut gerak hati sahaja sekarang.So I also like you pray for the best. unid buat apa yang unid rasa nak buat.I just make it happen and I don’t care the result.But in order to make it happen, sometimes i just can not bear the pain
Mungkin masa idle, termenung sudah berlalu.Mungkin masa sekarang is to let go and just move forward.Selagi Tuhan beri hati untuk cekal, beri airmata untuk release tension dan beri nyawa untuk take the challenge, I will try my best.
At last, thanks for being my silent listener. I am happy. Thank you for reading my blog

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

If I feel stupid

Memang aku teringin nak belajar banyak benda.Berenang, bahasa baru dan pelbagai lagi despite of my bz hour (cam artist pulak).Nak dijadikan cerita aku pun berminat dengan satu pusat tuisyen ni.Tapi kelasnya hanya boleh dibuat jika pelajar-pelajarnya memenuhi bilangan quota yang ditetapkan.Takper la, aku pun masukkan namaku di dalam category yang berminat.

Dan hari ini,saat-saat yang ditunggu-tunggu sudah tiba.Aku mendapat panggilan daripada pusat tuisyen tersebut.

“Dah lama kami menghubungi cik, tapi cik tak angkat.”Katanya.

Ok.Memang ada dua miscal dua hari lepas yang tak sempat aku jawab.

Aku diberitahu kelas akan bermula Sabtu ni.Then aku tanya pasal bayaran.Maka dia menjawab bayaran penuh sebanyak RM350 perlu dibuat pada hari pertama kelas which mean Sabtu ni.

Wow..aku seolah-seolah diberi masa kurang dari seminggu untuk mengumpul duit.

Aku katakana padanya gaji aku masuk dua tiga hari selepas kelas, boleh tak aku bayar ansur-ansur, half pada first class then pada hari yang aku masuk gaji.

“Oohh..boleh.Tapi cik kena bayar RM400 sebab kalau ansur-ansur kami kira RM400.”

Fuh.Terdiam sejenak aku.Kalau gitu aku rugi RM50 hanya kerana lambat dua tiga hari.Aku makin tak faham kenapa sistemnya begitu.Dahla aku diberitahu dalam masa kurang seminggu.Lepas tuh kalau nak bayar lambat sikit kena penalty RM50.

Aku rasa diperbodohkan.Bukannya aku tak ada duit.Ada, tapi dalam simpanan yang memang aku malas nak ambil.Humm..kalau aku yang masih ada duit pun terasa macam ni, tambah la lagi kalau orang yang tak ada duit.Mana nak korek.

Aku bertanya pasal waktu kelas.

“Buat masa sekarang kami buat waktu malam.”

Huh.Jawapan yang meragukan sebab aku pernah diberitahu mereka tentang masalah jadual guru yang bertentangan dengan jadual mereka.Kemungkinan besar jadual tu akan berubah lagi dan waktu tu aku dah terikat dengan bayarang yang dibuat, masalah tu.

“Tak apalah.Saya tak berminat.”Aku menolak.Sedikit kecewa.

Dia cuba mendesak aku.

“Kalau saya bayar lambat dua tiga hari saya rugi RM50.”Aku memberitahunya.

“Umm.”Dia bersetuju, seperti dia sedar yang kat sini sebelah pihak sahaja yang bakal rugi iaitu aku.

“Maaflah, saya tak berminat.”Dan begitulah akhirnya.

Aku untung RM400.Dia rugi RM350.Dan aku terlepas kelas yang memang aku tunggu-tunggu.

Mungkin aku bodoh but even stupid girl hate to feel stupid.

p/s:Bakal cikgu renang aku sakit dan aku sangat kecewa.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Hadiah untuk abah

Skuter abah kena curi beberapa bulan yang lalu.Pastu abah naik basikal saja nak pegi memana.Tayar selalu pancit dan memacam lagi lah.Aku tau abah nak sangat beli motor tapi duitnya tak cukup.

Setiap kali tengok orang tua kayuh basikal mesti aku ingat abah.Aku kumpul duit.Pastu emak dan adik cakap diorang masuk share juga nak beli moto untuk abah.

Lega.At least takde la lama sangat nak tunggu aku simpan duit.Mungkin orang akan cakap napa tak buat pinjaman je.Aku tanak.Sebab aku tak suka nak buat pinjaman especially untuk orang lain sebab aku tak tahu apa yang jadi di masa depan.Biarlah miskin asalkan bebanan hutang keluarga tak banyak.

Abah dah excited nak dapat motor baru.Moga dia happy.Aku tak rapat sangat dengan abah.Malah jarang sangat bercakap.Selalu guna mak sebagai pengantara saja.Sebab?.Mungkin aku memang tak rapat dengan abah.Kalau nak diselidiki puncanya nanti jadi lain pula.

Tapi aku sayang abah.Tak kira macam mana, dia abah aku.Tak kira my life like hell still I need to thank him for giving me life.

Aku harap suatu hari nanti, jika aku berpeluang jadi ibu, anak-anak aku akan faham bahawa ibu mereka hanyalah manusia biasa yang selalu tersilap

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Ruam

Susah hati.Muka aku naik ruam.Masih lagi puncanya dalam siasatan.

Pasal lepas balik dari bercuti ke?Pasal cuaca panas sangat ke?Pasal tukar pencuci muka ke?

Mungkin orang akan bising kata aku terlampau mementingkan kecantikan tapi aku bukannya lawa pun.
So kalau orang lain yang lawa jerawat penuh memanglah tak ada effect(mungkin kurang lawa sikit), tapi bayangkan kalau muka aku yang tak lawa ni kena.Bukan ke lagi teruk?
Lagipun aku orang yang sangat mementingkan kesihatan.Tak lawa pun tak apa, asalkan sihat walafiat.Jadi kalau ruam tu kan tanda-tanda kurang sihat.Apatah lagi asyik mengelupas je.Harap-harap ianya kerana sebab natural bukan sebab bahan kimia.

Dahla tak lawa tambah lagi tak lawa. Humm..camana nak buat nih??Bila umur meningkat memanglah kalau terlepas jaga jer,boleh jadi mudah sakit.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Akhirnya...

Hampir pukul 12 malam, aku baru selesai menyusun baju untuk program itu.Ini pertama kali setelah berapa lama aku menanti peluang seperti ini.Selama ini aku bergerak sendiri dan aku mahu cari pengalaman yang lebih.

Harap aku akan menjadi yang lebih baik.Mungkin yang aku beri cuma sedikit, tapi itu sahaja yang aku mampu

Mungkin ia memalukan tapi aku , Unid – Sedaya upaya untuk komited pada kasih sayang dan keamanan dunia.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Missing the Light

If you live in the dark where there‘s no light. You dreaming of sun but when you wake up you see nothing. No moon no star. It’s black. You lose your hope. You pull yourself together and say, “It’s my reality-black.” You try to accept the fact. Your life is black and it’s a fact.

Then one day, a small light come and you ignore it because you think it was dream. Then it’s gone. Maybe forever, you never know. You missed the light.

So can you be blamed because of ignoring that light? When the whole of your life is black, is ignoring the light can be your unforgivable sin?

I already accept my life is black. I stop believing for the light because it wastes my time. I should learn living in the darkness rather hoping for the light. But I can’t stop thinking, “Will I commit the same sin? Will I miss the light?”

Yup...Bercuti Sakan

Segalanya bermula pada tahun lepas apabila Hananako memberitahu, “Unid, MAS ada promotion tiket pegi Sandakan RM 200 jer. Jom.”

Unid macam biasa.”Ok.”

Dan apabila Oggy, “Unid jom bercuti.”

Unid macam biasa.”Ok, aku ikut je.”

Dan tahun ini di bulan June.Hananako invitation on 19 June and Oggy invitation on 25 June and Unid like wohooooo hoooo.

Dua-dua rakan yang baik.Dua-dua tawaran yang bagus.Dua-dua di bulan yang sama.Dan Unid tersangkut dengan dateline yang macam nak gila.

Macam nak telan mati emak diluah mati bapa.Unid jarang bercuti, Unid jarang spend masa together dengan kawan-kawan.Bak kata seorang kawan,”Unid ko pegi la dengan kerja engko.”

So it’s decided.Walaupun financial agak kritikal dan kerja menimbun, Unid pegi juga.Minggu ni pegi Sandakan, minggu depan Perhentian.Wow…Macam banyak betul duit Unid.

Dan hari ini, settle dua percutian begitu juga bab membasuh dan mengemas bilik.Lega. Akhirnya Unid bercuti juga, dengan muka yang bertambah legam..ahh lantaklah.

Tapi berjumpa kawan-kawan baru, merasa benda baru ..it’s priceless .

Lagi sekali, thanks friends~


Terbang ke Sandakan Sabah


Berhenti di Perhentian,Terengganu

p/s: Balik kat opis, "Wahh ...project dah siap bagusnyer." Boss balas," Banyak la ko." He he he

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Break

Last week 19 -21 June at Sandakan Sabah
Next week 26-28 June at Perhentian Island Terengganu
I knew I pretty buzy but still I want to meet my friends

At last I want to have break.Then I broke

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Friends

Friends of millionaire not same as friends of beggar
Friends of beauty not same as friends of beast
Friends of genius not same as friends of dumb
Friends of angel not same as friends of demon
-unid

What friend do you have ?

p/s: I am off maybe for few days enjoying moment with my friends 

Monday, June 15, 2009

Pemanasan Global

Tadi aku berchat dengan member ku, tentang pemanasan global.Cubalah baca.

 Unid: uik

 kawanku:    hai nid
 kawanku: kenapa uik

 Unid: takde paper
 Unid: nak test ko ada ke takda
 Unid: he he he

 kawanku: hahahaha
 kawanku: ko sihat ke?

 Unid: sihat cuma sekarang nih sangat panas
 Unid: aku rasa aku bertambah melegam

 kawanku: huhu
 kawanku: panas sini pun sama nid
 kawanku: panas gile
 kawanku: nasib ofis aircond
 kawanku: tapi malam panas
 kawanku: sampai aku kena beli kipas
 kawanku: hahah

 Unid: humm..panas sampai pening kepala
 Unid: ha ha
 Unid: bukan ko memang dah ada kipas ker?

 kawanku: ader
 kawanku: tapi kat dinding
 kawanku: so macam jauh
 kawanku: tak sejuk sangat
 kawanku: aku beli sebijik
 kawanku: memang hala kat muka aku je time tidur
 kawanku: sebab kalo tak aku terjaga tengah malam
 kawanku: kat leher memang basah
 kawanku: (sbb peluh ok, bukan air liur basi)
 kawanku: hahaha

 Unid: hahahhhahah
 Unid: isk..isk... aper la ko buat dalam mimpi sampai berpeluh

 kawanku: aderlaa
 kawanku: something hot la
 kawanku: hot-ak ko!
 kawanku: hahahhahahhaha

 Unid: aper la pulak
 Unid: oohh..
 Unid: aper laa

 kawanku: hahahahhahahaha
 kawanku: comel unid nih
 kawanku: hehhehehe
 kawanku: dah panas
 kawanku: berpeluh aa
 kawanku: sampai takleh tidur aku

 Unid: hahahah
 Unid: comel ?
 Unid: ape kena mengena ngan ko tidur berpeluh
 Unid: hahaahha

 kawanku: jengjengjeng
 kawanku: thats for you to ponder
 kawanku: hahahahahhaa
 kawanku: kan dah kena
 kawanku: :P
 kawanku: hahahaahah
 kawanku: weih aku nak gi mandi jap
 kawanku: ngehehhe
 kawanku: :P

 Unid: patut la berpeluh busuk
 Unid: pastu bising panas

p/s:Selain disebabkan perubahan suhu, lambat mandi pun antara faktor utama yang menyebabkan pemanasan. Perbualan di atas telah diubah suai untuk pemahaman yang lebih jelas.Terima kasih kepada kawan ku atas perbualan yang berharga ini

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Forgive and Forget

It's easy for human to forgive but difficult to forget.
So if we ask for forgiveness, never hope they will forget your sin
They hardly to forgive cause they can't forget

Forgive and forget, never be easy ~

So are u forgiver or forgeter or sinner ?Forgeter?? New word maybe

p/s:Forgive me but Forget me not ,ok

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Seriously Late

Where are you? Are you coming?

I am tired keeping this for you

My hand is bleeding cause it too heavy

My heart is broken cause it too painful

Can I ask someone else to keep it for me?

I see other people do

But thinking that I will face you sooner or later

That’s why I try to be strong

Even not sure whether you are coming or not

I am trying my best

Cause it is not about you, it is my weakness that I can’t bear my own sin

So that’s why I still keeping it for you

Even the pain that I hardly bear

Even I wanted to give up for so many times

Wanting to throw it away and feel free

But still I am waiting here patiently

I am tired seriously

Once you come, I will say

Take this away and let me free

But before that I will kick you first cause you‘re late

Sunday, June 7, 2009

KARMA

Aku percaya karma.
Aku percaya setiap perbuatan ada kesan dan akibat.
Selalunya apabila menghadapi akibat kita akan terlupa sebabnya.
Puncanya mungkin kita.
Tapi saat kita menderita kita akan terlupa dari mana puncanya.
Yang kita akan tanya mengapa ia berlaku walaupun kita sudah bertaubat?
Kita lupa
Bertaubat bukanlah membersihkan akibat
Taubat tidak akan membuatkan kita kebal dari akibat
Yang terlanjur akan terlanjur walaupun kita sudah sedar.
Insaf hanyalah untuk kita bertekad untuk berubah dan bersabar menghadapi akibat.
Akibat tetap akan berlaku walaupun anda sudah berhenti melakukan sebabnya lama dahulu.

Jadi berani buat, beranilah tanggung.


p/s:Sedang makan di Secret Recipe, sempatku kerling tag nama pelayannya. Namanya ialah KARMA .

Heavenly

Eat
Sleep
Play
Laugh

Wow...heavenly living. Only in ur dream babe!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

No U Turn

I don’t see what I am facing at

Is it light? Is it sign? Is it dead end?

It’s dark, it’s cold and I am alone

But no matter how it is

I won’t turn back

My Life for You

Week days I stare at computer, coding and stress

Week night I stare at computer, gaming and lose

Week end I stare at computer, blogging and release

Don’t you see, we’re meant to be

Monday, May 25, 2009

Confession

Ya. I confess I love writing since I was little.When I was little I wrote about my imagination, my hope and my dream.

Now I write about my feel , my life , my thinking.Maybe some peoples think that I am famous- wannabe cause I am writing about my self.Then, what should I write? Their story?

I write and write until I feel release.No one can stop me except my self. Either people read this or not is depending on them.But writing here is depending on me.

My writing maybe not professional but I just write and watch this blog growing like myself.

Only Human

I become their inspiration

Truly I despair my self

They see my success

I witness my failure

They rely   on my strength

I embrace my weakness

They laugh with me

I feel lonely

They please with my smile

My heart is crying

My perfect life

Only in their imagination

At last I am only human

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Amarah

Kalau aku marah.Memang muka aku pemarah tapi aku bukanlah orang yang sentiasa marah.As long aku boleh membebel still marah aku belum sampai puncak.

Kalau aku betul-betul marah, aku rasa nak termuntah.Rasa nak  meletup dada macam nak pecah otak.Mata akan berair dan rasa cam nak menangis.

Selalu aku takleh nak bercakap dengan tenang sebab tahan air mata. Selalu aku akan elak sedaya upaya untuk tidak bercakap atau menjawab atau melayan apa sahaja termasuk lawak-lawak yang ketika itu akan jadi lawak bodoh secara sendirinya.Muka aku rasa cam belon bila-bila je leh meletup.

Dan selalunya reason aku marah adalah sebab aku dah terlampau lama giler  bersabar.

Masa kecik-kecik kalau terlampau marah my mum akan peluk and cium aku dan cakap.”Sayang anak mama ni.”Selalunya tak kiranya camana aku melawan pun dia akan tetap peluk aku.Last-last aku menangis tak jadi nak marah. Mum, I wish that you can hug me again .Sob.. sob~

Friday, May 15, 2009

Greek Goddess

My face is not cute as you. No boys chasing after me like they do to you. I have no money and always hungry. If someone gives you nice handchief to wipe your tears;I always use my backhand to wipe it.

I am not popular and my name is not declared as Greek Goddess.

If you feel jealous at me, you should stop feeling that. Cause is not worth.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Moon, come and play with me!

oh bulan
enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila airmata membasahi pipi
dan lagu lagu di radio
seolah olah memerli aku

-Yunalis

Haih..how long you’re gonna pretend nothing happen.

But if you don’t want to pretend, then how long you are going to be sad?

The answer is unknown. I want to pretend happy as much as I can and hoping all the sadness feelin will fade away.

Cause a lot of thing I want to do and I never want to postpone. Whatever that can I do with these two hands, I will do it. The rest I just leave it to God.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Gila

Sebenarnyaku jarang taksub sesuatu benda.Tapi aku kagum gak tengok orang yang minat sesuatu sampai gila-gila.Yela, diorang sangat berinisiatif, siap ada scrap book lagi.

Tetiba aku nak jadi gitu, minat sesuatu secara terang-terangan. Macam orang minat Mawi ke, camtu la lebih kurang.

At least aku merasa gak gilakan sesuatu. Ok Yuna, I choose to become your fan.Tapi takdela sampai tempel gambar jadi wall paper. Tapi at least belaja minat lagu-lagunya.

Sekarang aku suka layan Dan Sebenarnya dan Greek Goddess.

Oh bulan, enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila,
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku
pabila,
kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku


lalallalalala. Unid ni bertahan lama ke kegilaannya?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Kebaya untuk Unid

Yah... Aku ngaku aku jarang berbaju kurung, tapi since balik ke Kulim aku belajar membiasakan diri.Dan koleksi baju kurung aku taklah banyak. Yang aku ada tak sampai pun sepuluh, kebanyakan orang kasi.

Baju kebaya aku yang pertama dibuat pada tahun 2009, then hari ini baru amik baju kurung moden. Selama ni aku asyik pakai baju kurung biasa.

Aku asyik bertanya samada sesuai ke pakai baju tu aku pakai pergi kerja.Rasa macam jangok pula.

Tapi mak saudara aku cakap."Kenapa pula tak elok?Lagi elok la.Asyik pakai seluar saja."

Mak aku menyampuk."Kan nampak manis."

Jaja. "Kalau along rasa tak sesuai untuk kerja, beri saja kat Jaja.Jaja pakai masa kelas."

Amboi~

Esok aku akan merasmikan baju kurung moden pertamaku ketika menghantar Jaja ke matrik.Baju kurung banyak kenangannya. Jarang buat sebab dulu kami orang susah, so banyak benda yang lagi penting daripada baju. Masa raya aku tak kisah samada ada baju ke tak ada, aku pakai saja apa yang ada. Sekarang ada duit sikit boleh la melaram.

Nasib baik badan aku susah naik, jadi baju yang sembilan tahun lalu pun masih muat. Tapi kadang-kadang bosan sebab pakai baju lama.Rasanya macam di zaman dulu balik.

Humm..baju kelawar, baju tuh aku tak pernah ada. Mungkin kena beli satu juga. Tambahan baru saja beli almari baju, banyak lagi ruang kosong.Banyak juga baju yang aku tak ada lagi ni.

p/s:Sesiapa yang nak bagi baju kat aku silakan lah. Ha ha ha

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Password

Password is important.I always make sure that I 'll never forget my password.
One day when I want to login to the site, I got the messages that my password is not match.

I was twisting my brain like hell thinking what the hell I set as a password.
My password should not be so complicated but why this one is very difficult?
After gave up trying, I just enter Login without entering any password.

Guess what?It giving me access successfully. Then I wondering, what the hell with this site allowing user to enter nothing as a password.But afterall, it was tricky for me to figure out how I set blank as my password. Hai ya ya~~

Happy or Sad?

I just finished washing myself and then watching Kimora’s  show.I am little bit tired. It seems my schedule full packed with project and family.

Yah..I am eldest from eight. You can say that overall I will need to think about one of my sibling per day plus my personal life plus working life. Being born is not my decision; I cannot say I am super happy or sad. It’s just life.

Sometimes I think we need to live in our way but sometimes I think we need to adapt a life that given to us. No people want to be born in poor or bad condition but it is not us to decide. What we can do, pull ourselves together, be strong as much as we can and face it bravely.

Whatever, I just pray for the best. I was not born from the best family. Sometimes I feel irritating with my mother and never get along with my father. Sometimes my siblings make me drive to the hell. But if it sounds too good, I think it wasn’t me.

Imagine Unid was born in super rich family.Very nice parent and family.If I heartbroken I just tell my dad

“Dad, I want to continue study.Could you send me to USA ?”

Still my life does not sound good rite? Life is good when you feel sad and happy. I cannot choose either one, need to have both.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Dunia nak kiamat?

Bosan baca paper, hari-hari cerita orang bergaduh.Sekarang heboh pula fasal Swine Flu.. before this Bird flu.Aku sendiri baru recover from Human flu.  Dunia nak kiamat ke?

and I working on Labor day. Working like hell not to blame my boss cause it is my fault. But lately otak aku mulfunction.Benda simple aku complicated kan, benda complicated aku simple kan and end up with bala bencana.

Otak aku slow ?Slow. Kena upgrade memory ke?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Lost

Help me!! I am lost

Where do you want to go?

I don’t know. I just follow my hunch.

Oh dear, you already lost at the first place

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Gomo Klate Gomo

Yah..Rite now I at Klate.Culture Shock . Yahh…I guessed different state different culture.

My sister is bad mood .She hates to be located here, she prefers Kedah or KL. I hope she will recover soon. Sometimes you will love something after you hate it especially when you just new here.Tak kenal maka tak cinta kan?

Rite now, on TV at my hotel room – soccer KLATE vs SELANGOR. No wonder tonite KB is little bit livelier.

p/s: Got new quote GOMO Klate GOMO. My Celcom broadband is full bar here. Jangan jelles


Thursday, April 23, 2009

To Love the Wrong Person

My fren told me that her boyfriend was loved by other girl.My fren was so sad.

I just said to her.

It was not your fault, not that girl fault.Sometimes our destiny is not in our hand.

I just hope that she will be strong. I hope her relationship will be last forever.

And for the girl who loves the wrong person. I knew you try your best to get over it. You're not alone, a lot of other peoples falling in love with wrong person until they meet their Mr./ Miss Right.

GANBATE neh.

p/s : and it gimme idea to write in Namaku Nurindah

Faham tak?

Aku sembam muka dekat perut emak. Aku tarik nafas dalam-dalam. Ada bau emak.Aku mengeluh.

"Humm..tengok, suka tidur tak ada bantal." Emak mengusap-ngusap rambutku.Tangannya hangat.

Aku biarkan saja omelannya.Aku keliru, aku resah. Emak faham tak?

Emak terus membelai rambutku. Aku tak tahu emak faham ke tak.Tapi aku tahu setiap saat dia mendoakan kebahagiaanku.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Hello??

Macam biasa malam Selasa aku drive dari ofis dalam hujan lebat.Orang selalu tanya kenapa aku balik lambat. Senang saja, bosan duduk rumah.Tatau nak buat apa selain TV dan menulis.
Malam tu hujan lebat ditambah lagi dengan lagu It’s My Life dari Bon Jovi. Dan cuba bayangkan campur dengan suara aku yang sumbangsih. Telinga sendiri pun naik pekak tau tak.

Handset aku berbunyi, selalunya aku tak layan handset masa memandu.Pemandu berhemah la kononnya tapi sebenarnya sebab handset aku tu kurang user friendly sikit . Tapi kali ni aku angkat.

“Hello …”

“Hello..Along ka?” suara lelaki di sebelah sana.

"A, a Along cakap"

"Along, Pak Jang ni. Amboi lama tak cakap sampai termimpi-mimpi la."

Aku blur.Mimpi apa pula. “Pak Jang…Along tengah drive ni. Nanti Along call balik.” Aku terus letak .

Sampai rumah lebih kurang kul 8.00 malam. Aku tengok balik memory call. Terus aku call balik.

“Hello..”

“Hello..” Suara perempuan pulak.

“Ummm..” Aku blur lagi.

“Along ke ni?”

“A’a”

“Pak Jang kamu sembahyang.Ni Mak Jang ni.” Slang Mak Jang pelik sikit, macam orang Perak.”Kamu apo kabo? Sihat ke?”

“Sihat.” Aku mula was-was. Setahu aku Pak Jang Mak Jang aku samada sebelah emak atau abah bukan orang Perak.”Mak Jang sihat ?” Dalam confuse tu aku still lagi boleh bertanya.

“Mak Jang sihat.Adik-adik kamu sekolah?’

“Umm..sekolah.” Adik-adik aku sekolah tapi dua jer la. Aku mula syak ada yang tak kena.Perlu ke aku mengenal pasti atau tak?Kalau aku syak boleh jadi Mak Jang yang bercakap ni Mak Jang aku yang real tak ke haru? Silap ari bulan aku kena belasah sebab saudara sendiri pun tak kenal.

“Ni Mak Jang sebelah Che ke?” Aku memberanikan diri. Che tu adalah panggilan untuk arwah datuk sebelah abah.

“Che?Apa Che?” Mak Jang blur.

Heh.Semacam jer ni.” Tak apa nanti along call balik.” Aku menutup malu.

Elok jer end call terus aku call adik aku. Suruh carikan nombor tepon Pak Jang.Heh, result nya NEGATIVE nombor tu tak ada siapa pon yang pakai.Samada ada salah nombor ataupon terlampau lama tak contact ngan saudara mara.

Handset aku berbunyi ada SMS.

Salam. Rin dok mane lani?Keja kat mane plak lani?Ad plk keja ape plk?

Sah salah nombor.Walaupun aku tak berapa faham tapi takde orang panggil aku Rin.Alamak macam mana nak cover ni.

Salah nombor ni. Saya bukan Rin

Abis tu sapa ni?

Along

Along mana ni

Nak cakap ngan along mana ni

Nak cakap ngan Kak Long.Isteri Adnan @ Ikmal. Dok kat Perak. Kak long tu nama Zurina.

Salah no ni. Saya bukan Zurina.

Nama sape? Abis tu macam mana boleh ada nama kat sini. Ada kawan ngan anak saya kut?

Nama saya Unid

Ada tak kawan nama Imran?

Imran mana? Saya takde kawan nama tu. Tatau la kut-kut dulu kat sekolah ada.

Dan SMS tu terhenti begitu sahaja.Aku cuma memikirkan mereka cuba menghubungi seseorang yang terlalu lama tak dihubungi. Sampai termimpi-mimpi la dibuatnya.
Cuma yang paling lawak. Aku tak pernah mengalami salah nombor yang macam ni. Inilah first time berlaku.

Dan tadi pun aku baru menerima panggilan dari kanak-kanak yang mencari Aziq.

Aziq takde dik. Salah nombor dik. Setakat itu sahaja salah nombornya.

Glamer juga nombor aku ni. Asyik tersalah jer, tapi ni la kesalahan yang paling pelik.

p/s: Nama semua diubah suai kan untuk menghormati mereka yang hidup.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Meeting him

I read a book to him. He was listening carefully to whatever words that came out from my lip. Sometimes he points to the page, stares at me and hoping that I will describe what it is all about.

He stared at me. I stop reading because I am not sure what he was thinking. I just stare back to him, looking to those shiny eyes makes me nervous. He touched my cheek and sigh. Then he smile. I just wonder why he sigh and smile. Maybe he was thinking that I am so lucky. I don’t know.

It was less than an hour and maybe it will be the first and the last time I met him. But meeting him makes me feel grateful to God. I AM NORMAL even my life was upside and down. I AM NORMAL and he is SPECIAL.

The Wrong Wish

I laugh because it was so funny. Then I cried like a crazy girl. Sometimes God gave whatever you were yearning for and then you realize it was the most unwanted thing in your life.

Then when I start to pray, I am not sure want to ask. Confuse. Will I ask something wrong this time without my knowledge? At last I look up to the sky and say, God give me whatever You think the best for me and give me strength.

This time I hope that  I ask for something right.

I've been travelin
On this road to long
Just trying to find
My way back home
The old me
Is dead and gone -Justin Timberlake



Thursday, March 19, 2009

Love for Love?

I was waiting for the bus to move. Usually I picked bus from Butterworth to Perak because I was quite lazy to book a ticket. Gamble. I didn’t remember how old I was at that time, but I was student of UTP certainly.

Bus station at Butterworth near jetty and I can feel the beach breeze. A lady behind me was kissing his son while a grandmother just becomes an observer. Then the lady walked out from the bus.

I had nothing to do except watching people. Boring. Boring and boring~

“Where is mama?” The son asked, and he began to worry.

“Don’t worry, she go and buy something.”The grandmother answered.

The bus driver started up the engine and we‘re start moving. The son becomes panic. “Where is mama? Mama!!!” He began to cry.

“Mama won’t come.” Grandmother said, hugging her grandson. Crying

The son cried loudly. While his tears flooding his face, I can see Mama was standing at the corner of the station watching sadly to our bus.

Sometimes to gain love, we need to sacrifice love. I think.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

How to Save a Life

So funny when I   remember that I was desperately wanted this song.

I just caught the chorus of the song when I saw Private Practice commercial at NTV 7 long time ago. Actually I am not Private Practice fan. Since that I was like crazy looking for this song but fail. The worst thing was I didn't know the title, even the lyric or artist only humming of the music.

How can you search song through internet if the only you know is the beat of the music? I asked friends whether they got private practice soundtrack but they gave me wrong song. I downloaded so many songs but still didn’t get what I want. But I got new other nice songs because of that.

Until one day I gave up. I just hope that I can catch the song from the radio or Private Practice commercial but none.

Then last night when I decided to burn some nice songs from my lappy for Ceri (car), my eyes caught the song titled How to Save a life by The Fray. I just wonder how it sounds since I never listen to all the song that I got from my friends.  I decide to try because before this I downloaded You Found Me by The Fray which is quite nice.

I listen to it and I just can't believe this is the song that I searched for so long. I am not sure since when it stay in my lappy, how I got it, where it came from. I just go Oh My God. Maybe I got it from my friend but I never listen to it.

See, it is simple right. Sometimes you think you're losing something that you really wanted. You heartbroken, crying ... then at last you realize it with you for all the time but you never take time to recognize it.Hadei…who sent me this song? I apologize for didn’t realize it.

p/s: I burn it for my Ceri and put it in the first track. He he he

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Projek Nurindah

I quite busy with Projek Nurindah which required me focus in writing and reviewing. I wrote and then take a lot of time to review it. Please spare a little time to read and review it. You can put any comment that you like.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

Nasi masih menjadi beras

Semuanya bermula saat aku terlajak tidur sampai kul 8.30 pagi. Pening kepala.Lepas tuh mengemas dan berdobi. Perut berbunyi-bunyi.Nak masak apa eh?Ayam semalam aku dah habiskan buat sup.Hari ni tak ada apa-apa nak dimasak.Takpa la hari ni telur mata jer la. Malas nak keluar pi beli pekakas.

Aku pon membasuh beras dan menanak nasi.Lebih kurang kul 2.00 aku dapat SMS dari mak.

“Anak mak makan nasi lagi?”

“Nak goreng telor jer hari ni” Aku membalas.
“Makan lauk telor je ke?Kasian anak mak.” Perli orang tua ni.

“Mak masak apa hari ni?”
“Masak lemak udang, sambal belacan, ulam pucuk mengkudu.” Menguji kesabaran tul.

“Macam kena balik jer ni.” Aku teruja.
“Balik la saying oi” SMS mak macam memekik balik suruh makan tengahari.

Takapalah.Aku ingat nak pi library jap.Minggu depan jer balik.Aku kuatkan semangat.
Perut aku berbunyi.Cepat-cepat aku bukak periuk tengok nasi.Eh, asal nasi nih masih jadi beras???

Alamak lupa onkan suis rice cooker.Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaa..camni betul-betul kena balik.

p/s: Saat ni aku dah selamat mengatasi kelaparan dengan nasi putih telur mata. :)

Friday, February 20, 2009

Hipokrasi

“Unid tanya lah. Kita segan lah dengan lelaki.” Kata-kata ni selalu aku dengar dari kecik sampai la besar. Nak tanya cikgu pon , muka tembok ni jugak yang disuruh.Yang paling menyakitkan macamlah aku ni takda perasaan malu.

Dahla tu bagi alasan segan dengan lelaki, lagi aku nak muntah. Dating ngan pakwe sampai pagi pegang tangan tak malu pula. Aku bukan nak kutuk pasal dating, tapi nak kutuk pasal alasan. Buat alasan pon janganlah macam lah awak alim sangat. Kalau betul alim then memang aku tak kisah. Nih hipokrit. Memang nak termuntah.Malu biar la bertempat, mak aku selalu bising bila soh aku study and tanya orang.

Depan orang suara baik jer, belakang kutuk cow cow.Aku pon serupa gak. Bila pikir-pikir balik manusia ni memang hipokrit.Bila keluar cerita artis kawin lari ngan pakwe yang lagi muda semua orang kutuk cam diri tu sempurna.Tapi bila kena tang batang hidung sendiri pandai pulak cakap dah jodoh.

Bila kes orang bercerai pandai jer bagi nasihat, begini la begitu la. Bila time terkena diri sendiri nasihat orang pon dah takleh diterima.

Adik aku menonton cerita Korea, biasa la cerita cinta.Kisahnya si hero ni lupa ingatan bercinta dengan seorang gadis.Kemudian kekasih lama si hero ni cam terhegeh-hegeh kat si hero ni.Adik aku selamba cakap, “Nyampah la pompuan jahat nih.” Merujuk kepada si kekasih lama. Aku menyampuk adil ke kata dia perempuan jahat.Dia cuma nak balik kekasih dia jer.

Nilah yang selalu buat aku menyampah dengan cerita cinta, asal jadi hero ngan heroin mesti baik. Tak kira la si hero ni rampas heroin from husband dia ke, atau sebalik nya tapi sesiapa jer yang menentang cinta diorang mesti jahat. Betul ke jahat?

Aku rasa sebagai manusia kite selalu claim diri kita baik tak kira la kita bakal kawin lari ker, kawin ngan orang muda ke tanak kawin ker mesti baik punya la. Kalo orang lain kawin lari kena kutuk, kawin muda kena kutuk ,tanak kawin pon kena kutuk.Pulak tuh pandai plak buat keluar hujah agama , sekali diri sendiri yang buat.

“Tu la unid.Selalu macam nih.Kita tak pernah buat cam tu tau.” Nak termuntah, padahal aku baru sekali buat silap tu, tu pon pasal terlupa.Nak tegur takper la, jangan buat cam aku ni jahat sangat and engkau tuh super baik.Tegur pulak like u want to tell the whole world.Memang la aku hangin.

Kekadang memangla patut tegur menegur ni, wajib menegur kalo ada mende tak betul, tapi janganlah sampai menjatuhkan air muka orang .Pastu perasan bagus.Lagi elok kalo tegur orang dengan ikhlas.

Penat. Makin dewasa nih makin banyak pulak hipokrasinya. Aku nak muntah, aku tanak tenggelam dalam hipokrasi.Selamatkan daku.Tolong…aku mau keluar dari segala hipokrasi dan kebendaan ni.

Ada satu pepatah yang buat aku terdiam, terkena batang hidung sendiri beb.

Bercerita benda yang tak betul tuh fitnah, bercerita bende betul tapi buruk tu ngumpat.


p/s : Kena zip mulut aku lepas ni, mungkin potong jari sekali. Idea menulis ni datang waktu aku bangun kul 12 malam sebab takleh tido.Bukak laptop dan tup tap.Sebab tu mamai sikit.Sorry ok

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bongok

"Bongok kan?"

Aku tersengih. Bukan kerana maknanya tapi sebab lama tak dengar dan tengok perkataan tu.Tengok ejaan pun rasa cam nak gelak.

Unid Bongok, Ngok Ngek ... He He He

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My Forever Lover

Sometimes I just choose further than usual way going back home just to see the sunset. Maybe some people think that I only waste my fuel and time. Every evening I can see sunset clearly from my office’s window. I never bored with the sun and the sky. And I can stand forever just watching them.

When I was little, I used to lie down on the ground and look up the sky. Wondering where the clouds go with my black white cat named Panda lying next to me.

Watching the sun, moon, star and sky makes me feel alone, feel little but yet that is the greatest feeling. I just wondering where is my place in this world between those greatest creatures?

This morning, I wondering what title of surah that I want to read, then I choose to As- Syams. I feel grateful to God who creates Sun and Sky that becomes my inspiration in this life.

By the sun and its brightness.
And by the moon when it follows it.
And by the day when it brightens it
And by the night when it covers it.
And by the heaven and its Maker.
And by the earth and its Expansionist.
And by the soul and Him who perfected it
Then inspired its and it piety

Surah Ash-Shams 1-8



p/s : I hope my friends feel peaceful whenever they read my entry

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This work by unid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Self Doubt

Self doubt is natural from time to time, but never forget that you're very special.

Your creativity is like solar energy -- stronger when your outlook is sunny! So today, if you feel like you are running out of good ideas, run outside. Be confident in your ability to think up new ways of doing things and know that you can always rely on your sharp brain to come to the rescue -- eventually. While self doubt is natural from time to time, you need to remember that you can fix things if you just keep working at them and thinking positively.


What do you want actually?

Don't know.Sometimes I wish someone kidnap me and send me to other world.

What world?

Don't know.Any where.

Like what? Where? How about here?

I DON'T KNOW.DAMMITTTT...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Sony

Kucing hitam berekor kembang kelihatan ligat bila diacah dari luar sangkar.Nampak nakal dan gagah.

“Kucing ni jantan ke betina?” Aku bertanya sambil mencuit kucing tu, geram.

“Jantan.” Jawab budak lelaki yang berumur lebih kurang lima tahun , mengacukan pistol mainan ke arah kucing tersebut.

“Nama apa?” Aku bertanya lagi.

“Sony.” Sepatah budak tu menjawab.

“Sony Ericcsson.” Aku mengangkat kening , mengusik budak tu.

“Tak. Sonia.”

Heh. Aku terdiam.Ooohh…kucing hitam jantan itu namanya Sonia

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Funny Name

Ha ha ha .. So funny

Your movie star name: Banana Wannik

Your socialite name is Mek Da New York

Your fly girl / guy name is N Hus

Your barfly name is Pop Corn Ribena

Your rock star name is Mint Jet

Your Star Wars name is Nurshi Husero

Your punk rock band name is The Sad Computer

Wahahhaha (^3^) Poo Pooo .....

Bukit Bendera

Pada hari kejadian tayar pancit, aku bersama rakan berhiking ke Bukit Bendera. Kami sampai awal tapi di permulaan salah Hutan Lipur Teluk Bahang.Sampai di sana ,kami merenung papan tanda “Penang Hill Forest Challege “, trail yang terpanjang di Penang dan mengambil masa lebih kurang lapan jam. Anda berani? Kami berpandangan antara satu sama lain. Gila ? Aku dah lah first time hiking.Kang nanti ada yang kena kendong. ;P

Last-last kami menukar permulaan dari Kebun Bunga.Parking kereta kat sana dan mula mendaki dari sana.Mula masuk hutan lebih kurang kul 11 lebih la. Dalam perjalanan, memacam jugalah yang kami nampak. Monyet, semut mutiara (Unid seorang je panggil semut tu semut mutiara),air yang mengalir dari batu. Dugaan yang paling sakit adalah tangga dan juga jalan tar yang mencuram.Berpusing-pusinglah aku dibuatnya sebab nak jaga kaki supaya tak sakit.

“Kenapalah tak naik tren je? Kan senang?”

Ya , memang senang tapi perasaannya takkan sama dengan mendaki. Udara yang dihirup jadi tak sama, t-shirt rm 10 pun rasa cam biasa, ais kacang pun mungkin tak sesedap mana. Kenapa ya?Aku cuma rindukan perasaan menghargai, menghargai apa sahaja walaupun benda tu kecil.

Perasaan yang seperti seorang pengembara yang haus di padang pasir yang terjumpa lopak air.Lopak air yang mungkin kotor tapi itulah kegembiraan yang sukar digambarkan.

Berdiri di atas puncak Bukit Bendera setelah aku bersusah payah mendakinya adalah sesuatu yang tak dapat digambarkan. Semua jadi best walaupun ianya hanyalah biasa.Rasa badan berpeluh, rasa mengah dan rasa lenguh kaki semua jadi hilang begitu sahaja ketika sampai. Terlupa betapa penatnya kami sampai terpaksa berhenti beberapa kali, siap makan sandwich lagi.

Turun dari Bukit Bendera lebih kurang 6.30 petang, berlari-lari mengejar bas. Dah lama tak buat. Rindu betul.

Sampai stesen bas pelbagai hal berlaku, naik bas hingga ke destinasi terakhir Batu Feringgi, last-last terpaksa turun kerana terlepas destinasi yang sepatutnya iaitu Kebun Bunga.Tukar naik bas Rapid Penang pula.Oleh kerana bas tak masuk Kebun Bunga,kami terpaksa berjalan kaki.

Kawasan Kebun Bunga waktu malam amat menakutkan.Dari cerita yang didengar, kawasan itu kawasan hitam. Anjing-anjing yang menyalak seolah mahu menerkam. Ada seekor tak bertambat, memang sedia mahu menerkam tapi nasib baik di seberang jalan.Jika anjing tu berakal mungkin dah lama diterkamnya kami.

Memilih jalan belukar kerana takut orang jahat.Kawasan perumahan yang sunyi, di setiap rumah ada anjing dan ada poster Rakan Cop. Cuba berjalan laju dengan kaki yang sakit, tangan memegang handphone bersedia untuk mendail talian kecemasan kalau berlaku apa-apa.Aku berdoa sungguh-sungguh dalam hati. Masa tu terpikir, anehnya perasaan takut ini.Ianya jarang berlaku dan sangat menakutkan. Aku memikirkan mereka yang dilanda peperangan. Perasaan takut yang aku alami mungkin sudah biasa bagi mereka.Mungkin perasaan gembira itu aneh bagi mereka.

Akhirnya kami sampai ke kereta, masuk cepat-cepat, bergerak laju dan menarik nafas lega.Seorang rakan memberitahu ada beberapa orang sedang berkumpul di suatu tempat sedang memerhatikan kami, mungkin kerana tadi ada polis membuat rondaan.Kami bernasib baik, yalah hanya kereta member satu-satunya yang masih ada di situ. Kalaulah ada orang khianat pancitkan tayar, pecahkan cermin bagaimana? Sedih. Aku di Malaysia takut diserang orang sendiri, mereka di luar takut diserang orang asing.Pelik.

Kami menunggu giliran untuk menaiki feri.Hampir berjam juga tunggu, kereta dah berbau peluh dan stokin.Perut mula lapar.Dalam lama menunggu tiba-tiba dapat tahu feri akan bertolak pukul satu pagi. Haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…kalau tau awal-awal lagi naik jambatan.

Akhirnya sampai juga ke seberang setelah merentasi jambatan, berhenti makan sekitar kawasan Butterworth.Tapi perut aku menolak, makan sikit jer dah tak abis. Mungkin sebab terlampau lama menahan lapar.Dah jadi devil’s friend.

Akhirnya sampai rumah lebih kurang pukul 3.00 pagi.Tidur dalam keadaan letih, esok nak menguruskan tayar pulak. Tapi banyak pengalaman, susah nak dapat tuh. Sebelum tidur aku terpikir semut mutiara.Semut yang buntutnya bulat kaler merah.Setiap kali berjalan seolah-olah ada mutiara merah di belakang semut tu.

ZZzzZZZZZ






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This work by unid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tayar

Sabtu 17 January

Hari ni aku berjanji dengan member nak hiking Bukit Bendera. Sebelum apa-apa kena isi minyak dan angin dulu. Pertama kali aku akan memandu Ceri masuk Penang.

Lebih kurang pukul 7.00 pagi, aku memandu Ceri menuju ke stesen minyak kat Kilang Lama.Ceri berkelakuan pelik. Aku tak tahu kenapa, tapi pelik tak macam selalu.Sampai stesen minyak, tempat isi angin rosak. Mungkin boleh isi kat highway nanti.Isi minyak dulu.Aku pun isi minyak. Full tank beb.

Dalam perjalanan ke Mimos, Ceri semakin bertambah pelik.Something wrong with the tyre.Aku gagahi dengan 40 km sejam.Aku onkan lampu emergency lamp.Tayar ku berbunyi rasanya satu jalan leh dengar. Habis lah.

Sampai Mimos terus turun tengok tayar. Habissssss……Lubang .Member ku cuma menggelengkan kepala.
"Dari jauh boleh dengar kereta Unid.Asal bawak jugak?”
Aku terkelu.Tak tahu nak jawab apa. Mungkin tanak orang tunggu dan mostly sebab aku bodoh. :P

“Teruk dah ni.Memang kena tukar tayar baru”

Aku mengeluh.

“Camana?Jadi tak nak hiking ni?”

“Jadi. Balik nanti baru fikir pasal tayar ni.” Tayar ni melibatkan aku, Ceri manakala hiking melibatkan banyak orang dan sudah dipelan awal-awal.

Apa pun hiking dulu.Member ku memandu keretanya.Dan sepanjang hari tu telinga dan mataku sensitive.Tegak jer telinga bila orang sebut tayar. He he he.

Oleh kerana masa hiking pun berlaku pelbagai yang tak dijangka, pagi Ahad lebih kurang pukul 3.00 pagi baru sampai.Aku memutuskan untuk tidur di rumah member, esok bangun lepas rest cukup baru melawat Ceri. Selamba kan?Tatau kenapa tetiba jadi sangat selamba.

Ahad 18 January pukul 4.00
Aku dan member menukar tayar spare.Kemudian survey tayar di kedai sekitar Kulim. Dua ja sebab banyak kedai yang tutup.Akhirnya aku memutuskan membeli tayar baru. Terbang RM120.

Masalah selesai lebih kurang pukul 6.30.Kemudian aku bertanya kepada member ,” Nak pi Tesco Sungai Petani tak?” Gila kan?

“OK”

Jadi kami pun pekena ayam RFC untuk pertama kali.Begitulah akhirnya kisah Ceri yang malang.


Malam tuh aku balik, my housemate menasihatkan aku supaya menukar tempat parking. Mana tahu kut-kut ada yang tension dengan aku.Kurang percaya tapi akur sahaja.

Mungkin aku ada buat salah, dan menyakitkan hati orang… dan alangkah bagusnya jika ada orang berterus terang menegur kesalahanku.Setahuku parking ( kalau itu boleh dipanggil tempat parking yang sah la) tu tak ada kepunyaan sesiapa, tapi jika ada yang mahu apa salahnya dia memberitahuku.Tanak berdepan pun tak apa, tulis saja nota ,”Parking ni saya punya.” Aku akan faham.

Semoga tayar itu pancit kerana paku bukan kerana tindakan manusia.Because deep in my heart, I want to believe that I live with good people.

Adegan yang Jarang anda lihat



Adegan yang pertama kali anda lihat


Adegan yang tak mungkin anda lihat. Ceri Naik Marah . He he he


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This work by unid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License

Friday, January 16, 2009

Heaven

15 January . Continue from previous post

Gloomy morning. I forced myself to smile. Avoid any conversation and praying that nobody will recognize my balloon eyes.

Actually if I plan to start working, there bunch of work that can be done, but I just open Windows Media Player and listen to head banging song with high volume until my ears become itchy.

I joined my friends having lunch at pizza. I knew I just force myself. I feel guilty to my colleagues, I should at least pretend that I love to eat, but sorry I can’t. I was tried my best solving Sudoku.I used to play with it inside LRT long time ago.

At evening, my friend Gtalk me.”If I want to go Mengkuang Damn, do you want to join?”
I replied, “Yes” I wondering what it will look like.

She drove me and when I reached to the place I become speechless. It’s like all my sadness fly away. I feel free, I feel happy and I just say to myself.”How come here got such miracle place?”

Maybe for you, it just plain lake but for me it’s like heaven. I don’t know why I feel peaceful and feel like I am the happiest woman in the world. So funny but that’s what I feel. I feel like God give me His blessing. This is all I need. It’s simple but I just need it.

Happiness is not come from money, people but it is from our heart. Be happy sound simple but it is the hardest thing to obtain.


Watching the lake scenery, feeding the fish as well as feeding ourselves with goreng pisang, take a light walk, have conversation .I feel like I am in heaven.

Thanks for my friend that bring me to such nice place. If you’re guy, I will fall in love with you straight away without fail. Just kidding, she might giggle while reading this. Oggy, if you happen to visit me here, I will bring you to the place. It might be simple but I like it.

And on that breezy evening, I start to talk like first time I get my mouth.:P

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This work by unid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License.

Who will save me from myself?

14 January

I SMS my friend last evening. A lot of thing happens, and I really desperately need someone to talk. She kind of busy so I just let it be. At night, while I was fighting with myself trying to sleep, she called.

“Hai”
“Hai” Long idle.
“Are you fine?”
“Yup” Long idle
“How’s your family?”
“Fine”
“What are you doing right now?” She tried the best to break the ice

“I am fine. Trying to sleep –“I cheated but she knew and I knew she knew. I could not bring any words. It’s like my tears explode. Then I tried to tell her what I feel and what happen slowly under blanket.
And she likes “Uh? Ooo.. I could not hear you …”

Of course, because my voice was slow, my explanation was upside down but she just patiently listens to me.

“I hate myself. I feel like I am alien or something. I want to be like other-“I cried.

“Don’t Unid. NO!” She cut my voice firmly.”Just be yourself. There is no other Unid in this world. You’re the most unique person. You cannot be someone else.”

I cry. “But it cannot be helped right??!If you lose, you will start comparing yourself with other person-“

“No.Don‘t ever try it. Just be happy, be yourself”

At last, I just agreed with her. I am losing myself, little by little, bit by bit until I don’t who I am. I am missing myself and try my best to save it.

After long conversation, I tried to sleep with my eyes swollen up like balloon, I just wondering how I going to cover it tomorrow. I must admit, I can be very weak sometimes.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Good to back for Work

After a few days, my heart had broken, my tears bursting. Every night, before sleep I was thinking “What should I do?”

Then I realized nothing. The worst thing is because I cannot do anything. I just close my eyes and pretend that I am strong. Am I?

It’s ok. Tomorrow got a lot of work to do. I hope I will be drowned in it.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sang Bintang

Aku terlihat satu bintang di langit.Tak pasti samada bintang ataupun satelit.Bintang nan sebutir itu bersinar-sinar.

Sang pelita berkata dengan bangganya.”Bintang sudah tidak berguna.Kamu sudah punya aku.Cahayaku lebih terang dari bintang”

Sang angin menghembus kencang, pelita terpadam.Ahhh..seterang manapun pelita masih lagi perlu dinyalakan.

Cuma ada sekarang

Ahh..Hampir setahun aku duduk di sini. Aku teringin nak mengambil kelas Mandarin, tapi setakat nih tak berjumpa lagi kelas. Rasa macam nak belajar berenang , itupun tak tau kat mana.Nak melancong , pompuan banyak songeh pula kalo merayau sesorang.Leceh kalau nak backpack.

Nak sambung study, duit tak cukup.Nak beli rumah, pendapatan tak berapa nak stabil. Aku mengeluh melihat cermin, “Alamak kedut” Nak beli segala anti penuaan juga mahal.
Banyak benda yang belum tercapai tapi kekadang usaha sendiri pun belum tentu cukup.Umur makin meningkat, tau-tau banyak yang terbuang.

Uhhh…Aku mengeluh.Bagaimanalah agaknya negara-negara yang dilanda peperangan.Aku di Malaysia aku asyik risau takut tua nanti takda apa-apa, diorang kat sana dilahirkan memang untuk mati dibom tak sempat nak memikirkan hari tua.

Aku di sini makan ikut suka hati, dekat sana berpuasa sepanjang masa.Sana tak ada yang sempat memikirkan masa depan,rancangan untuk sambung belajar atau kahwin.Mereka cuma ada sekarang. Kekadang aku menyoal kenapalah aku ini dihidupkan?Tapi kalau didengar oleh kanak-kanak di Gaza mungkin mereka akan menyampah dan menyumpahku.Aku yang hidup begini masih lagi mempersoalkan takdir, padahal mereka di sana dilahirkan untuk mati serta merta. Hidup mereka pembaziran kah? Aku terkelu sendiri.

Aku memang manusia yang tak tahu diuntung.Merungut tentang benda-benda kecil. Bayangkan kalau kita tak ada masa depan, yang ada cuma sekarang?Apa yang nak dibuat eh?