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Sunday, December 21, 2008

First Day On Leave

Hah.. I am alone in the office on Sunday. I have to do something at Kulim, instead of waiting do nothing I come to office. It's seem a lot of thing I had to do but sh*t, I forgot to bring my external hard disk so I just sigh.

I am taking leave for one week. Today is my third day which I don't have to work, but then if  I don't have to work it's look like I got nothing to do.All the loneliness will attack me again, I hate to be idle.

First day on Friday, I woke up and said to myself, "I don't have to work today". Then I shout waking up my brothers and sisters."What activities for today?" 

Humm..At morning till afternoon , nothing except listen to their story.About school, ghost story in their hostel , drama and bla...bla. They so talkative.They non stop talker while cooking or whatever. The snippet is like below

   Jaja : (Bercerita tentang kes-kes paranormal di asramanya) Jin tuh macam tak suka tau dekat pengawas asrama-
  Nene : Weh..mana serbuk kari ikan? (Muka gabra bila bawang yang ditumis mula garing)
  Aku : Hah...Takkan baru nak check kut serbuk kari ade ke tak?
  Semua orang sibuk mencari serbuk kari.
 Cah: Along, depa ni memang macam ni dah letak periuk baru nak cari barang.Kadang-kadang tuh lauk semua dah masa tup..tup nasi lupa nak masak. (Menggeleng kepala, Nene cepat-cepat membasuh beras)

Aku menepuk dahi melihat kelam kabut adik-adik aku  termasuk aku ,mencari serbuk kari ikan.Nasib baik jumpa.Selepas tuh mereka menyambung buat kerja sambil bercerita sehingga aku terbau mende yang sangat garing.

Me: Woii.... rempah kari ni dah dekat hangit , mana santan letak santan?(Diorang pon letak santan , kemudian kepala ikan.Lepas tuh sambung bercerita sehingga aku terbau lagi)

Aku:Ya Tuhan, nasi ni kering dah.(Aku bingkas bangun perlahankan api)
Jaja:Napa ari nih semua jadi kelam kabut ???
Aku:Memang tiap-tiap ari macam ni ke atau sebab along ada hangpa jadi macam ni? (Ye la sebab first day aku start cuti ari Jumaat)
Cah:Maybe sebab along ada kut.
 
Aku menggeleng kepala.At last...

Aku: Ok nasi dah masak.Tutup periuk.
Adik aku amik tudung tutup periuk.Aku melihat gulai ikan, menambah sedikit garam.
Aku:Ok..dah settle.Cepat hidang kat abah ..

Adik-adik aku , amboi mengarah nampak. Habis tu kalau tak diarah asyik menyembang ja sampai tak ingat dunia.Nasib baik la gulai ngan nasi tak rentung.

Tapi bila mendengar adik-adik aku bercerita, I feel happy.That evening I brought them to Lata Bukit Hijau.So at least I fulfilled the promise.

Tapi first day, adik aku perasan yang aku asyik mundar mandir kebosanan.Along ni kenapa?Last-last aku capai buku yang dipinjam dari seorang rakan dan baca.

p/s:Hari tu aku menghabiskan sebuah buku Sidney Shieldon.Nanti kalo tak ada aral, I will write my activities during my leave.



Thursday, December 11, 2008

Palace of Golden Horses


Watching Sun rising.How much I will let the light come inside?Will my face get burn?Sun Light in the morning, so soft.

Light is my first name.Don't get lost inside it at the first place.

I heard my heart beating everyday.Faster and faster.Wildly.Naturally.This heart is mine but why it is hard to control?Why I need to fight every day and night while it is mine.It's inside my chest.It is mine!!!Weird


p/s:Gloomy mode while writing this

Saturday, November 29, 2008

If I am a cat?Meowww

You Are a Maine Coon Cat

You tend to be loving and playful around your family and friends.

But when you're around strangers you tend to be a bit reserved.

You are intuitive. You understand human emotions well.

You do best when you are around people. You don't like being left alone.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

My Rock Star Name

Cool ahh?
Your Rockstar Name Is...


Foxxy Slick

More quiz

Is it true?
Your Personality Profile


You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.

You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.

You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

Super Hero

I took a quiz from internet and the result is Batman.Though I am not fan of Batman but I loves to watch Batman and Teen Titans animation version.:P .But I want to fly, can Batman fly?
Your results:
You are Batman




Batman
65%
Hulk
65%
Superman
65%
Green Lantern
55%
Supergirl
52%
Spider-Man
50%
Robin
45%
The Flash
35%
Wonder Woman
32%
Iron Man
30%
Catwoman
30%
You are dark, love gadgets
and have vowed to help the innocent
not suffer the pain you have endured.

Monday, November 17, 2008

When YOU GOT OVER TIME

When you got to work overtime, sometimes you get crazy.Especially when you’re entering the same value to the system to test and then got some bugs.Try to solve it, testing it with the same value and got same bugs.*Repeat the action above until getting totally crazy.

Actual value for testing
Name: Tomato man
Description:Great Tomato

Crazy input after giving up for awhile:
Name: Named unid
Description: Kiut ha?

p/s:Craziness cont. in entry below ...

After being crazy ...

Then I ‘ll go to Wikipedia read something about my sign.Pisces. I am not totally believer but almost of the characteristic of pisces is inside me.Coincident?!Not sure.

The myth:

One of the most popular stories regarding the mythological origin of Pisces is the story of Aphrodite and Eros. The story involves Aphrodite and her son Eros escaping from the terrible monster Typhon by turning themselves into fish and hiding underwater until it was safe to come back to the surface. As fish, they tied their tails together with a cord so that they wouldn't lose one another while swimming in the darkness of the deep water. Upon hearing their tale, Zeus rewarded the pair by placing them among the stars as the constellation of Pisces.
As a constellation, Pisces has been almost universally associated with female deities.

The Pisces symbol ( the H ) is often associated with Helen of Troy - Beauty and love.


In the story they were actually turned into Dolphins which are mammals but at the time they were mistaken for fish.

p/s:Though I am not lovely and beautiful, my name begin with H . Eheemmmm :P



My behavior :
 malleable / impressionable
 gentle (Lemah lembut ke?Uweeekkkk)
 good natured / easygoing
 likeable / kind
 compassionate / sympathetic (Bila mudah kesian,mudahlah kena tipu ye tak?)
 sensitive (Yup I am sensitive person)
 dreamy / impractical (Suka berangan)
 instinctive / intuitive (Tak sure)
 imaginative / artistically able (Sesikit)
 versatile
 gullible / naive / easily led (Senang kena tipu, senang gak la kalo nak dibuli)
 spiritual (Sikit2)
 escapist
 selfless

p/s:Yang lain tuh terserahlah pada sesiapa yang membaca entry ni



Attribute

Likes: Feeling appreciated, feeling loved, freedom, stability, mystical settings/enchantment, dreaming, having their input valued, being unique
Dislikes:Feeling vulnerable, having no goals to move toward, feeling invalidated, being criticized, illiteracy, noisy scenes and displays, having no sense of structure


Ideal careers
•caring for the needy as in the fields of medicine or veterinary medicine
• anything related to the sea
• acting
• psychics or mystics
• religion
• cooking
• pharmacist


p/s:Tak paham tul..Apalah yang aku buat depan pc while I should take care of people.Sebenarnya kecik2 dulu pernah berangan nak jadi doctor, pastu berangan nak jadi aktivis alam sekitar.Yang jadi doctor tu cancel sebab math asyik kantoi jer.Last-last jadi programmer langsung no life.Tapi yang pasti aku sangat sangat suka laut.Humm..jadi pelakon drama sesuai tak?

Rupa paras
Their lips will tend to be full with a pursed or puckering quality, the jaw is generally weak or subdued, and in some people, there will be a tendency to double chin. The nose is generally small, the facial features will be rounded, especially the cheeks, which may be prominent in some way, reminding you of the gills of their zodiacal mascot. The eyes similarly, may appear to bulge with somewhat of a sleepy or dreamy expression, and in them you can get the distinct impression of wisdom, mystery or spiritual depth. For this reason, Pisces' eyes are perhaps the most beautiful in all the zodiac. The neck is generally graceful, meeting at the shoulders with a certain smoothness of line. Most Pisceans are tall, with some short individuals


p/s:hidung tu confirm la kecik.Tapi aku takdela pendek sangat. :P. Mata paling cantik?Biar betul, ada sesapa nak tukar?Mata lebam banyak wrinkles la!


Compatibilities
Pisces is widely considered to be naturally compatible with the same element signs, Cancer and Scorpio.Many consider it to also be good with Taurus.

p/s: Cepat-cepat..ada sesapa bintang di atas.Sila angkat tangan :P

Source :Wikipedia

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Stand Up



Everything will be alright.The heart is stronger than you think.Like it can go through anything.And even when you think it can’t it finds a way to still push on,though

Sometime you want to run away.Ain’t got the patience for the pain.And if you don’t believe it look into your heart, the beat goes on.

Things get better through whatever .If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up.Don’t you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know.

If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough.But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up.Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up.Through it all, just stand up.


It’s like we all have better days.Problems getting all up in your face.Just because you go through it.Don’t mean it gotta take control.

You ain’t gotta find no hiding place.Because the heart can beat the hate.Don’t wanna let your mind keep playing you and saying you can’t go on

You don’t gotta be a prisoner in your mind.If you fall, dust it off, you can live your life.Let your heart be your guide.You will know that you’re good if you trust the in good.Everything will be alright.Light up the dark, if you follow your heart.And It will get better through whatever.

You got it in you, find it within.

p/s: Based on song Just Stand Up

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Pantai Yang Menenangkan

Nak tengok pantai!!!
I really want it desperately.Lastly aku masuk Google and type “beach”, dan aku tengok gambar pantai puas-puas.Imagine myself there.How pity I am.:(

Aku suka sangat pantai.Everytime aku tengok pantai, rasa anginnya, hidu bau masin laut, aku jadi tenang tak kiralah betapa berserabutnya pemikiran.Macam pantai, no matter apa pun di dalam lautan, di luar still nampak lapang dan menenangkan.I wish I could be like that.

Here snippet of song that I listened to .Cuba teka lagu apa? :P
Living life like an ocean
My friends this life we live, it’s not what we have
It’s what we believe in
There might be more than you believe
There might be more than you can see



Empty chair somewhere at Terengganu.Memories of Endurance 2007

Monday, November 3, 2008

LOVE?

All I need is air I breathe and the place to rest my head.

Actually I wish to lie down on the green field, watching sunrise. When I asked deep inside my heart, what I longing for, I think I want freedom. I want to be free from all haywire that helling inside my brain.

I always dream that one day, I will travelling around the world, see a lot of thing and feel that I was born in the world despite on this limited place. I want to play snow, I want to run in the rain, I want to seek oasis, I want to jump into the river and I want to run along the beach with arm wide open and feel alive. I want to do whatever I want.

Our life is full with the same problem LOVE. Peoples are fighting all over the place because of love. People want money in order to gain love. People seek revenge in the name of love. Lovers married and divorced because of love. War exists in order to gain peace and love as they said.

Is that true? When I am thinking about it sometimes I feel confuse, love should make people become strong and happy but it working in opposite manner. It is the source of strength and weakness in the same time. Love makes people greedy, love makes peace. Good or bad because of love.

So many people are happy because of love and some are hurt because of it. I was watching Power Rangers, Ultraman, Gransazer and etc., which describe that alien come to destroy earth. But the reality there is no alien, the earth perish not because the outsider but because of our own hand. Sometimes it is hard to admit that we are cruel creature actually.

What is LOVE actually? Is it poison or cure? Curse?What is it? That creature remains in mystery in unknown entity. Can you imagine that you are thirsty of love, and you still want to drink it as much as you can without thinking whether it can make you feel better or worse?

p/s:The reason that I still breathing is LOVE.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Lorem Ipsum ?

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit..."
"There is no one who loves pain itself, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is pain..."


I realize that lorem ipsum is famous especially to display the layout of design.So I tried to find out where it comes from and guess what?Lorem Ipsum is not just sample content.Huh I just wondering how many people use it without realize the meaning.

Cicero's original text:
…neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?"

H. Rackham's 1914 translation:
Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?

Source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorem_ipsum
http://www.lipsum.com

p/s: So famous but so sad

Friday, October 24, 2008

Personaliti berdasarkan tarikh lahir

I was born on 27th February .

Tarikh Lahir pada 27

Dia adalah seorang pasangan yang tidak mahu kalah dan pantang menyerah. Kejujuran dan keadilan merupakan sifat yang membuatkan dia disegani. Dalam soal cinta dia ingin memberi yang terbaik kepada orang yang dicintainya. Namun begitu harga dirinya terlalu tinggi sehingga dia tidak pernah mengerti mengapa seseorang itu menolak kebaikannya.


Bulan FEBRUARI

berfikiran abstarak
sukakanbenda yang realiti dan abstrak
inteligent, bijak dan genius
berpersonaliti yang mudah berubah
mudah menawan orang lain
agak pendiam, pemalu dan rendah diri
jujur dan setia pada segalanya
keras hati untuk mencapai matlamat
tidak suka dikongkong
mudah memberontak jika dikongkong
suka kegiatan lasak
emosinya mudah terluka dan sangat sensitif
mudah mempamirkan marahnya
tidak suka kepada benda remeh temeh
suka berkawan tapi kurang mempamerkanya
sangat berani dan suka memberontak
bercita-cita tinggi, suka berangan-angan dan ada harapan untuk merealisasikanya
pemerhatian yang tajam
suka hiburan dan sukan
suka benda yang bersifat seni
sangat romantik pada dalaman tapi tidak pada luaran
berkecenderungan kepada benda yang tahyul
amat mudah dan boleh menjadi terlalu boros
belajar untuk mempamirkan emosi

p/s : Betul ke?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Cerita Dulu

Entry kali ni banyak kontroversi la plak.Fact on this entry :

1. Is not confirmed that the victim inside this writing is me or other person.So please don't jump to the conclusion.It's ok for you to assume who is the daughter but when you write the comment don't simply assume I am the daughter.
2. The main objective of this entry is to show you what happens to the child whenever marriage is fail or the bad of parentship.So it is warning to all of you because this is real thing happens.
3.Lagi satu don't simply assume Unid Nak Kawin? Hadei la... After read the comments, I reread this entry again and again, so far nothing mention that Unid will get married.So it's quite irritating when people asked me those question.


Pada zaman dahulu, adatlah perkahwinan diatur oleh ibu bapa.Maka ada seorang gadis dikahwinkan judengan seorang lelaki yang mempunyai latar belakang yang baik.Bijak.Dibandingkan dengan gadis ini belajar pun tak habis.

Maka sudah menjadi adat Melayu.Isteri mesti melayan suami, memasak, membasuh dan mengasuh anak-anak. Yang pasti bila suami balik kerja semua mesti tersedia. Hatta air basuh tangan mesti disediakan. Bila bersuara, suami lah yang betul.Jika ada teguran dari isteri dibidas, ahh perempuan tahu apa?Maka terdiamlah si isteri. Dan apabila jangkaan si isteri betul pun dimarahi juga.Kononnya salah isteri mendoakan perkara tersebut supaya terjadi.Maka diam dan patuhlah si isteri lantaran ingin menjaga hati suami dan mengelakkan pergaduhan.

Dan apabila suami isteri sudah mempunyai anak, urusan anak-anak juga diurus isteri.Jika anak-anak mahukan sesuatu jaranglah mereka berani bersuara secara terus dengan si bapa. Semua melalui ibu, hatta duit sepuluh sen pun terpaksa melalui proses birokrasi. Maka hubungan bapa dan anak menjadi sangatlah renggang.Jika bapa bertanya sepatah, maka sepatah dijawab anak. Jika adapun perbualan, ianya lebih kepada monolog di mana sang bapa akan bersuara lebih dan akhirnya si anak akan bersetuju ataupun berpura-pura setuju.Segala luahan perasaan semuanya kepada sang ibu.

Maka suatu saat si bapa sudah berputus asa untuk bekerja.Dia berkata kepada isterinya, “Cubalah kau rasa kerja macama mana pulak?” Maka si isteri demi kelangsungan hidup anak-anaknya mencari pekerjaan.Sehingga muntah darah namun diteruskan juga.Si anak menjadi belas, mahu berhenti belajar semata-mata menolong ibu.Ibu berkeras, selagi ibu hidup anak-anak mesti belajar.

Dan tugas isteri semakin berat, dia masih lagi suri rumah kerana si suami enggan mengambil alih tugas isteri.”Ahh.. Aku bukannya tak tahu tapi inikan tugas perempuan “Tegasnya.Maka tugas sang isteri menjadi dua kali ganda.Suri rumah dan juga pekerja yang menyara anak-anak juga suami.

Pernah si anak mencadangkan supaya bercerai kerana memudahkan mereka untuk mendapatkan pertolongan.Yalah jika menjadi ibu tunggal kan banyak sumber boleh membantu contohnya wang zakat dan badan-badan kebajikan yang lain.Sekarang walaupun ada bapa tapi seperti tiada bapa.

Ibu menolak.Mempunyai bapa penting supaya anak-anak bersatu.Dia menahan diri kerana anak-anak.Jika tidak kerana anak mungkin dah lama dia meminta cerai.Jadi sang ibu bersabar hingga akhirnya anak-anaknya membesar.Suaminya berubah tetapi oleh kerana pengalaman yang pahit membuatkan anak-anak menjadi kurang mesra.

Maka si ibu di suatu petang bertanya kepada anak gadisnya,” Bila mahu berkahwin?”

Sang anak terdiam.Perlahan dia menjawab,” Tanak jadi macam ibu.”

“Ahh..bukan semua lelaki macam tu, ada yang baik”Ibu berkata ingin menenangkan.

“Bagaimana nak tahu lelaki tu baik ke tak?”

“Ibu akan doakan supaya anak dapat suami yang baik.”

Anak terdiam lama.Semua ibu akan berkata begitu.Tapi kali ini dia cuma menjawab dalam hati.Jika nasib dapat lelaki yang tak baik bolehkah dia berpatah balik?Bagaimana nasib anak-anaknya nanti?Sejarah akan berulang lagi.Sang anak akan menerima nasib yang sama macam si ibu.

Jika si anak menahan kehendak hati, tidak jatuh cinta dan berkahwin.Bukankah itu lagi selamat?Si anak hanya menderita seorang diri,tak perlu membiarkan keturunannya menderita.

Bagaimana?

Bagaimana?

Menjadi anak susah bukan?Tak dapat menentukan apa yang diigini.Tidak dapat menukar ibu atau bapa atau adik beradik.Jadi siapa yang boleh menentukan?
Mungkin lelaki atau gadis sebelum berkahwin boleh menentukan bagaimana masa depan anak-anak mereka?

Mungkin puncanya kerana sang suami tidak mencintai isteri sepenuh hati mungkin sebab itu perasaan belas dan kasih sayangnya agak kurang.Berbeza dengan perempuan, sekali melahirkan anak dia menyayangi anak sepenuh hati jadi demi menjaga anak, dia mesti berbakti dan taat pada suami.

p/s: Pengalaman yang buruk di masa kecil sangat membawa kesan di waktu dewasa bukan?

Telur Dadar Nene

Apabila Nene mahu bercerita, semua orang mesti dengar, kalau tak dia akan merengek, “Dengarlah …dengarlah ni-
“Iya tengah dengarlah ni.”

Nene bercerita tentang resepi telur dadar yang dibuat jiran.
Mula-mula pukul telur.Lepas tuh masukkan sedikit gula.Kemudian tuangkan separuh dari bekas telur tersebut ke dalam kuali yang panas.Masukkan kicap dan sos di atas telur.Kemudian tuang baki telur ke atasnya.Tunggu sehingga bahagian bawah masak kemudian balikkan.Setelah masak terus angkat dan hidangkan.

“Sedap!”Nene mengakhiri ceritanya.”Adik dah try buat hari tu tapi mak tak puji pun.”

Emak berkerut cuba mengingat bilakah dia makan telur buatan Nene.

“Mungkin sebab adik buat hangit, sebab tu mak tak puji.” Nada suara adik sedikit sedih.

Aku renung mak, mak renung aku.
“Hangit!Macammana nak puji.”Bidas emak.
Aku sengih.Hangit – boleh diterima ke?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Yang penting tu apa?

Balik raya kat kampong sebelah abah,aku berjumpa dengan ramai sepupu, dari kecil sampai la yang besar.Bapa saudaraku menceritakan perihal anaknya yang berumur tiga tahun.

Anaknya bertanya, “Abah, yang penting tu apa bah?”

Si abah terkelu, memikirkan kepelikan soalan tersebut.Semalaman dia memikirkan apakah yang patut dijawab untuk soalan tu. “Yang penting tu apa bah?”Kenapalah anaknya yang berumur tiga tahun bertanyakan soalan begitu.Puas dia memikirkan jawapan.Apakah yang penting?

Keesokannya, tatkala dia mahu menjawab, anaknya dengan selamba berkata, “Yang penting selamatkan kucing hitam tu!”

Rupanya si anak mengajuk cerita kartun kat TV. Aku tersengih dan tertanya-tanya, kartun apalah agaknya yang ditonton oleh sepupuku.

p/s:Dalam kehidupan ini yang penting tu apa ya?

Raya 2008

Raya datang lagi. Macam biasa, rumah aku riuh rendah. Ada yang kaki mengusik, ada yang    pantang diusik.Happy bercampur pening. Isu-isu yang sama jer setiap kali raya.

1.       Tempoyak kesayangan mak.Selalu jadi rungutan.Nak dibuang mak tak kasi.Sayang katanya.Sudahnya tempoyak memenuhi peti sejuk sampai musim durian tahun depan. Nak kata makan tempoyak tetiap hari tu takde  la sangat. Ada la sambal tempoyak.

2.       Kerongsang dan butang baju melayu. Selalu jadi punca masalah.Selalu kehilangannya menjadi misteri.Last-last aku keluar beli kerongsang , 10 biji.Itu pun masih macam tak cukup. Pening! Tu belum masuk isu anak tudung lagi!!

3.       First time missed sembahyang sunat raya, bagi adik-adik aku la. Aku still under MC.Boleh ke missed sebab asyik bersembang sambil makan ketupat. Sudahnya pergi masjid lambat, dan termiss solat raya.Pergi la tapi patah balik bila  diorang  tengok semua orang dah keluar masjid. Abah balik tanya,” Tak nampak pun hangpa kat masjid?” Adik-adik aku bagi alasan pergi masjid lain pastu tok imam sana sakit perut. Poyo punya alasan

4.       Saudara mara belah emak datang dengan empat buah kereta waktu malam.First time rumah aku terima tetamu sebanyak tuh.

5.       Rumah aku still under construction.Cuma ada la improvement dari tahun tahun lepas. Atap yang bocor dah diganti, kalo tak macam taman tema  air setiap kali hujan.Dinding dapur baru naik sebelah. Dinding bilik yang kami adik beradik selalu musnahkan waktu kecik-kecik diganti dengan dinding baru.Kalau boleh nak jer aku siapkan rumah cepat-cepat tapi duit tak cukup. Tambahan bulan nih aku banyak habis duit kat road tax and saman.Bila lah rumah nak siap; naik pening bila pikir.

6.       Raya kedua  balik kampong  belah mak.Dah nak malam baru balik.Raya pertama dah balik kampong belah abah.

7.       Raya ketiga, adik-adik lelaki bising nak makan sate lagi padahal raya pertama dah makan dah.So diorang pon pepandaila nyalakan api dari sebelum maghrib sampaila selepas isyak, api pun tak menyala-nyala lagi.Mak aku turun pi tengok ,”Adei la bila la nak boleh makan nih.Nyalakan api pun tak betul.Orang letak la kayu kecil-kecil dulu pastu baru leh tambah arang.”

Ami merungut,” Telo la cakap takyah guna kayu kecil pon takper, pakai jer arang jer terus.Ajaran sesat”

Sudahnya kami , geng pompuan dah tertidur tak sempat nak makan sate bebudak tuh.

8.       Raya keempat.Emak kerja, aku diassignkan memasak.Oleh kerana tak ada apa nak dimasak aku pun bantai la asam pedas ikan kembung, masak kicap hati ayam pastu tumbuk sambal belacan.Asam pedas aku ingat nak buat style Melaka tapi cair la pulak.Petang tuh after hantar adik ke asrama, aku pon mencari nasi.Biasala selera makan tak tentu.Semua benda yang aku masak habis.Tension!Dah la aku pon belum makan lagi.

Angah : Wahh..Masakan along laku hari ni.

Ami : Tak sedap pun

Aku: Tak sedap pun habis

Ami: Ami tak suka asam pedas tuh

Nene: Adik suka (Nene memang hantu asam pedas)

Ami :Ami makan  petai jeruk jer

Aku: Petai pun, sambal belacan along habis.

Memanglah kalau semua berkumpul semua jadi sedap.Makanan tolak batu dengan kayu sahaja, semua habis.Kalau semua tak ada, tinggal kami empat beranak, makanan yang paling mahal pun tak habis.

9.       Raya kelima. Pergi kenduri rumah kawan emak.Sesat punya fasal aku makan banyak sampai dua kali hidangan(Nasik 3 kali tambah, mak aku pun terkejut.Bukan main nak amik berkat agaknya). Malam tuh hantar adik-adik yang study kat KL, diorang naik bas malam dari Kulim. Sunyi lah balik . Pasni aku asyik ngadap muka Nene jer la.

10.   Raya keenam.6 October 2008 .Pagi kat ofis. Sunyi.Semua orang masih mood raya. Tengahari dapat call from mak, Abang Ki meninggal accident. Arwah meninggalkan isterinya yang sarat mengandung.Aku terus emergency leave.Balik rumah , tengok emak yang baru pulih dari pitam.Balik kampong terus ke rumah Maklong.Muka maklong bengkak akibat menangis, “Entah dugaan apa lagi ..”Dia bersuara perlahan.Isteri arwah berjujuran air mata, tak henti-henti.Tak sanggup nak tengok, aku naik atas memencilkan diri, menghadiahkan apa yang patut pada arwah. Suasananya memang lah menyedihkan.Arwah pernah berkata pada isterinya, “Jika baby lahir 8 hb October, samalah birthday nya dengan abang.Boleh lah ganti abang.”

Salah seorang teman sepermainanku waktu kecil sudah mendahuluiku. Aku?

 

Tula conclusion raya tahun 2008. Ada yang manis, masam semua ada.Cuma ada yang diceritakan dan ada yang tidak.

Buih-buih di lautan

Last time aku naik feri. Lama gila tak naik, rasanya mungkin aku pernah naik waktu universiti kut. Ada kenangan pelik jugak bila aku terkenangkan. Seingat aku, aku pernah naik feri selepas dipelawa oleh seorang perempuan cina berambut pendek macam lelaki.Ala- ala tomboy gitu. Dia mendapat tahu aku tak pernah naik feri, jadi dia terus ajak aku naik feri.

Yang peliknya, aku bukan kenal pun perempuan tuh, dekat stesen bas Butterworth tuh la aku terjumpa ngan dia.Pelik sebab aku boleh ikut orang yang tak dikenali .Nasib la perempuan tuh tak buat apa-apa yang pelik.Dia seorang guru, namanya aku tak ingat. Terima kasih, at least  tu lah first time aku naik feri.Kami naik feri pergi pastu patah balik.Humm..tak berapa ingat sangat lah.

Dulu selalu balik kampong dari UTP melalui butterworth. Masa  tu teruja sangat tengok feri, sebab stesen bas tu kan dekat pelabuhan. Rindu masa muda dulu. Masa tuh sangat energetic. Best kan kalau masa boleh dip using-pusing semula.

Bila naik feri, selalu tengok kat bawah. Cari obor-obor. Kadang-kadang nampak ikan.Tapi kali ni tak nampak pulak, tatau mana hilangnya. Yang tinggal buih-buih. Buih-buih laut?Terus aku teringatkan cerita duyung. Bukan cerita little mermaid by Walt Disney tu. Cerita tu cerita kartun yang aku pernah tengok waktu kecik.Lukisan dia agak seni, macam ada unsur awan larat.Mungkin bagi budak-budak lukisan tu takde la cantik sangat.

Macam biasa cerita duyung fall in love dengan putera daratan sehingga sanggup menukarkan suaranya dengan sepasang kaki.Putera tu layan dia dengan baik, dia pun seronok sampai perasan yang  putera tuh pun jatuh cinta dengan dia juga. Tapi akhirnya putera itu berkahwin dengan puteri dari negara lain.Hubungan duyung dan putera tersebut tak lebih dari adik dan abang sahaja.

Majlis perkahwinan diadakan dengan penuh meriah di atas kapal. Puteri Duyung bersedih. Di waktu malam, duyung tuh termenung di atas kapal. Kakak-kakak duyung merayu kepadanya.Mereka menyuruhnya membunuh putera tersebut supaya dia dapat kembali semula ke laut dengan menggunakan pisau hikmat.

Puteri duyung mengambil pisau tersebut, dan pergi ke peraduan  putera dan isterinya.Pada mulanya dia mahu membunuh putera tersebut tapi tak sampai hati.Last-last nya dia pergi cium putera tu dan berlalu keluar. Puteri duyung menunggu matahari naik dan kemudiannya terjun ke laut bersama-sama pisau hikmat tersebut. Dia bertukar menjadi buih-buih di lautan kerana sumpahan cinta tak berbalas. Kalau ikut boleh jer dia bunuh putera tu tapi dia tak sampai hati.Kasihan.

Moral of the story,  aku pun tak sure sebab masa aku tengok cerita tuh aku pun kecik lagi. Masa tuh aku cuma pikir buang masa sahaja jatuh cinta sampai nak tukar suara dengan kaki. Kan lagi best jadi ikan duyung duduk dalam laut, boleh makan seafood tiap-tiap hari.Kan?

Minggu Yang Gelap

Isnin 15 September

Aku call pusat penghantaran  tu, nak bertanyakan kurier yang dikirimkan dari KL.Suara seorang perempuan menjawab.”Bila sampai eh?”

“Esok kak.”Katanya.

Aku pun dah beritahu abah dan adik kalau ada orang yang datang menghantar kurier.Petang tuh aku balik.Tak ada pun kiriman.Kecewa sedikit.Tapi tak apalah, minta-minta la tak ada polis, atau kemalangan berlaku.Ye lah road tax aku dalam kurier tuh

Selasa 16 September

Aku call pusat penghantaran tuh.Melalui internet aku dapat track ke mana kurier aku.Lebih kurang pukul satu lebih status out of delivery.Macam biasa perempuan jugak menjawab, “Esok kak.”

“Confirm ke?”

“Ye kak confirm.Esok sebab tak sempat.”

“Okay.”Still aku bersabar.Balik rumah, macam biasa tak ada apa-apa penghantaran.Mungkin delivery guy tak sempat sampai , ye lah bulan puasa takkan la nak kerja sampai petang.

Rabu 17 September

Aku malas nak follow up sebab aku confirm hari ni mesti sampai.Seorang member ofis mengoferkan diri untuk call pusat penghantaran tersebut tapi aku malas nak follow up.Sampai lah hari ni.

Balik rumah petang tuh, aku tanya abah.”Tak ada pun”.Kiranya dah seminggu aku bawak Ceri keluar secara haram la.Panas juga hati nih.

Khamis 18 September

Pagi – pagi aku call pusat penghantaran tuh.

Aku : Nak tanya pasal kurier saya bila nak sampai?

Operator: Dah hantar dah semalam tapi tak ada sapa.

Aku:Hah, ye ked ah hantar semalam?Kenapa tak ada sapa call pun?

Operator wanita:Ye, tapi tak ada orang.

Aku:Habis tu camana?Hari isnin pun awak cakap hari selasa, tapi tak sampai pun.Ada jer orang kat rumah tunggu

Operator:Dah tak da orang.Orang kami pun ada hari tertentu pergi sana

Aku:Habis tuh camana nih?Bila saya boleh dapat nih?

Operator:Esok la, esok akak ada kat rumah tak?

Aku:Mana ada.Saya kerja.Tapi adalah orang kat rumah tu.Sepatutnya awak call saya ke kalau ada masalah.

Operator:Habis tuh camana?Akak takde kat rumah

Aku:Okay .Kalau saya tuka alamat ke Kulim camana?Bila boleh dapat?

Operator:Esok

Aku:Esok jugak?Confirm ni, kang nanti hantar hari Sabtu problem pula sebab saya takda.

Operator:Ye sampai esok.

Aku pun memberi alamat ofis kepadanya.

Aku: Boleh tak awak ulang alamat saya tuh, kut-kut tersalah

Dia pun mengulang sehingga sampai ke line poskod tuh dia diam.Bengang

Aku:Kenapa?

Operator:Tak payahla ulang-ulang!!Kan dah sampai kat sana .Buat apa nak ulang-ulang?

Aku terdiam mendengar suaranya yang kasar.Tak apalah, dia kerja kat pusat penghantaran, mungkin dia lagi tau nama-nama kawasan.

Selepas tuh dia letak tepon.Air mata aku rasa cam keluar gak nih, sebab ye lah jarang orang berkasar ngan aku.Pompuan pulak tuh.Kalau lelaki memang la ada yang kene telan.Tau-tau jer air mata kuar, terus jer aku lari gi toilet.Tension tul.Teringin aku nak jadi cam orang lain boleh jer maki-maki hamun.Susahlah aku cenggini, asyik kena buli.

Lepas tuh aku mengadu kat agen aku kat kl, message jer la.Tau-tau jer dia call balik aku.Bengang la dia sebab company dia yang guna service pusat penghantaran service tuh.”Asal Unid tak cari jer manager dia?”

Malas tul aku.Tau-tau agen aku tuh pi serang HQ pusat penghantaran kat KL.

Tengahari aku dapat call dari operator.Dengan suara kasarnya, tak ada salam pun, “Akak ke yang call kat Dato Keramat tadi??”

“Takde lah, agen kut.”

“Ni akak, ni no pon BM, kurier akak akan dihantar ke BM.So akak call la diorang”

“Ok”

Petang aku balik rumah, tanya abah aku samada dia ke mana-mana tak Rabu kelmarin.

“Tak.Abah tunggu kat rumah.Pagi adalah abah kuar setengah jam jer  beli ikan”

Sah.Samada delivery guy tuh tak reti nak jenguk atau tanya orang ataupun diorang memang tak hantar pon kurier tu.Cam tak logic plak, ada ker orang susah payah cari rumah lepas tuh tengok cam takde orang terus blah.Kalau  orang kampong sendiri nak gi kenduri logic la.Ini kerja, larat ke dia berulang kali nak jenguk rumah aku.

 Jumaat 19 September

Pagi-pagi aku dah call cawangan BM.Malas nak kasi muka dah.Operator nya kata confirm kurier aku akan sampai hari ni.

Tengahari, aku call balik.Aku nak mintak no tepon delivery guy tu, kut-kutla sesat pulak.

Operator : Kami pakai contractor.Contractor takde pickup , so takde no pon diorang.

Aku:(Blur) Habis tuh camana awak track

Operator: (Maybe dia dok refer info aku) Eh, salah nih akak .Alamat akak kat KK mana leh hantar kat BM …bla..bla…………. –

Aku:Ehemmm..baru jer pagi tadi  saya call korang cakap kurier saya ada dan hari ni akan sampai.

Operator: Ohh..ye ke? Kejap ye.    Ohhh..ada-ada

Aku cam nak pening, muntah pun ada.: Boleh tak saya nak no tepon orang yang pegang kurier saya.

Operator tuh lantas bagi no tepon delivery guy tu.

Aku call pulak Nasrul bukan nama sebenar.Suka hati lah aku nak letak nama apa pong.

Aku: Encik Nasrul ada pegang kurier saya.

Nasrul:Ya.

Aku:Bila boleh sampai?

Nasrul:Dalam tengahari la kut.Atas kul dua camtuh

Aku:Confirm eh?

Nasrul:InsyaAllah kak, kalau saya tak mati.

Aku:Takper saya doakan awak tak mati lagi. (Memang aku dah tak larat nak tunggu dah)

 

Petang.At last, akhirnya sampai jugak kurier aku.

Nasrul: Cuba akak tengok alamat nih? (Dengan muka menyindir)

Aku tengok KULIM, pastu poskod pastu Bukit Mertajam.Bodoh betulla sapa yang tulih alamat nih.Kulim kat Kedah.Bukit Mertajam kan kat Penang

Nasrul: Alamat pun tak betul.Banyak saya dapat alamat macam ni ( Nak sound aku la tuh)

Aku: Tak, bukan saya yang tulis.Saya dah suruh operator awak ulang sebab saya nak check alamat tuh.Tapi dia tanak, dia dah tau katanya.

Nasrul: Ooohh..kurang ajar  tul orang tuh.

Huh…macam-macam orang aku jumpa.Penatlah layan orang.Penat…layan Mr. Leno juga yang best.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Thank You

When I think about it, since I was school I don't even have a lot of friends. I always been bullied at kindergarten when I was 5 years old at KL.My father involved in army so I always moving around. I moved to Baling which is where I am now when I was 7.Moving into new school.


I didn’t have many kawan sekampung. Maybe around four boys and I am the only girl.So at that time main tembak-tembak, tangkap pepatung are my favourite games.At school time I managed to get a lot of friends. When I went back to my grandparent’s village I was so excited. I got to play tuju kasut, hide and seek, terjun sungai.I was totally kampong girl. I have lots of cousins to play with so balik kampong time was something that I could not wait.


Then after completed my UPSR, I got offered to Alor Setar.I have a lot of girl friends. Most of them are very kind. Sometimes I got bullied but still there some friends protect me. Thank you!


Then I entered UTP.I got to know a lot of friends from various states. Whenever I recall back, my personal behavior is not friendly enough. My face always show rude face, rarely smile. That ‘s why my mom shouted at me last night.”Camana nak dapat boyfriend?Muka tuh masam jer.Dah tu menonong saja.” I am so sad. Why suddenly getting married is so important? If I know it from the start that marriage is so important, I won’t study so hard.Masuk tingkatan satu jer terus belajar mengorat.Tak masuk akal betul.


But I am so happy; I got a lot of friends that I can consider as best friend. They never give up on me despite of my mood and my ugly face. They always being there with me and pull out the craziness that hide inside me. They turned me to funny and crazy girl.


I still remember sometimes I have bad day at UTP, my friends will force me to join them for outing.” Unid kalo ko tak ikut, ko siap!!” Even it sound creepy but it works. Sometimes I need some type of enforcement. When I am getting back to normal they will said,” That’s why we force you…we knew you’re having bad day.”


Thank you. If not because of my friends maybe I become kera sumbang.If not because of them maybe I have no friends at all.


Then now I moved to my hometown. Since I don’t have many friends at my hometown, my life becomes so empty. But my objective is to build a house for my family and then I will continue my journey. When I took the decision, I just said,” I don’t care. I am going to complete my task for my family then after that I can think about myself.” But it was not easy as I thought. Still I missed my friends out there.


The good thing I get new friends here, even I am not sure what their perspective about me, but I just don’t care. Can they stand with this crazy and ugly girl? Will they give up on me? I learned a lot from my friends and tried my best to be friendly.

When I think about it, I envy my friends that so talkative and friendly. Peoples love them. Sometimes I hate being my self when I think about it.


To my friends, just when ever you read this, I wanted to thank you for being my friend. Thanks because you’re never giving up on me.


p/s: I really missed kek lapis Sarawak. Can I taste it again this year?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Owl Inside Me

I attended training on how to improve social skill on my previous company, I really lack of it. All 17 of us, woman took a test to see what type of behavior that we got. It can be categorized into four types which are eagle, dove, peacock or owl. The result: Out of 17 women, only one that got owl’s behavior which is me. Burung hantu punya geng pupus dah agaknya!

Me????Yes me. I quite surprise when seeing the result because I thought that I am crazy girl, always teasing people but I ended up with being an owl. One of friends said, "Actually yes you are an owl."

One of the trainer said, there is no good or bad being in whatever category because we complete each other. Knowing about other people behavior will make us easy to socialize with other people. Even I am not understood well why it should related with bird but let check this ugly owl character. Is it like me ? You sure? My life is really miserable. I think that’s why most of my friends are dove and peacock. They’re cheering up my day.

See what owl is all about

Melancholic – Owl:

The wise owl. The owl is logical, mathematically minded, methodical and sometimes seen as a perfectionist. The owl can be slow to make decisions and inflexible if rules and logic says otherwise. Owls are not big risk takers but love detail.

Often very kind and considerate, melancholic can be highly creative, as in poetry and art – but also can become overly pre-occupied with details and facts. The melancholic person is a perfectionist, being very particular about what they want and how they want it in. These people are deep, thoughtful, analytical, serious and purposeful.

Tipu la …I am not mathematically minded, in fact saya takut nombor.Dapat jer soklan math dah berpeluh-peluh.Wahahahahah

How to treat me (Melancholic/Owl):

Owls are the serious ones. They have thought out the problem and when they have questions they want lots of details. Treat them seriously, answer them in detail and understand that if you don’t give them all the information they need, they will not take you seriously. When you have finished talking to a melancholic/owl, give them time to ponder and assess the details before responding.

Sumer kena  orang takut la ngan Unid lepas ni.Wa ha ha

Advice for me

If you are the “owl” you need to realize that most people are not interested in every detail and most people don’t put as much emphasis on perfect as you do. You need to be tolerant of the others and try to lighten up a bit.

Ok.All people give all your love to me. I need hug. :P


Ok...Let Sing a Song ... Uuukk ..Uuukkk..Uuukkk

Monday, September 15, 2008

Bulan di Langit

Macam biasa pagi Ahad, radio mesti Klasik Nasional.Radio haram disentuh ketika mak ada.Janganlah memandai nak menukar channel.Kalau tak, ada yang tak makan karang.

"Engkau bagai bulan di langit, sedangkan aku pungguk di bumi .Apakan daya ku…"Antara lirik lagu (lebih kurang la) yang menangkap telingaku ketika mengemaskan Mr. Leno Black.Lagu itu mendayu-dayu menggambarkan seorang lelaki yang mendambakan cinta seorang wanita tetapi merasa rendah diri.

Aku terfikir, jika benarlah lelaki itu menyintai wanita tersebut dia patut berusaha mendapatkannya.Jika wanita itu di bulan ke Marikh ke Pluto ke dia masih lagi boleh mendapatkannya.

Berusahalah jadi angkasawan.Jika tak berusaha jangankan di langit, di depan mata pun takkan dapat.Biasalah kalau kena reject dulu. Kejayaan= Usaha + Doa.

Jika dia benar-benar menginginkan wanita itu menjadi teman hidupnya, ibu kepada anak-anaknya ,insyaAllah dia akan dapat.Bukankah Adam yang menginginkan Hawa waktu dia melihat makhluk lain berpasangan di dalam syurga?Jika jodoh tak kemana bukan?

Yang banyak sekarang nih flirting around, saja nak main-main, test market.Tak berkat tau .Tak baik aniaya orang nanti Tuhan balas baru padan muka.

Unid: Jangan nakal-nakal ;-P. Korang ni asik baca jer blog nih, bila nak kasi komen ni.Sangap la.


 

Mr. Sun

14 September . So many rainy days. I miss the sun shine. Mr. Sun where are you?

I miss your soft light in the morning. You make me feel awake every day. Whenever you show your face in the morning, I can listen to the bird's singings.

This morning, despite of cloudy sky, Mr. Sun shows his face, I done my laundry happily. ;-P


 

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Alive


John : I wanted to kill myself.
Unid: Why?
John: I hate myself.All people hate me.
Unid:You sure?
John:Yup, no one treat me good. I think they will happy if I die
Unid:Are you sure they gonna be happy?
John:Yes
Unid:How do you confirm it?
John:???
Unid:How do you confirm that they gonna be happy after you die?
John:Huh?

Unid:How do you confirm it while you already died? Humm..Died people cannot confirm about other people feeling. Better you confirm it while you still alive. Once you died, you cannot confirm nor do anything .So better you change it while you still alive. Why do you need to choose death when you already know that died people can’t do anything?
Other matter is does not matter except you’re still alive. Just take a breath, feel the air and Start again

Unid : John is nothing except Unid’s imagination. But still giving up is the worst thing to do.

My new lover

Yup after Si Ceri,Mr. Black Leno, here Nikon my new lover.Actually I have many lovers. ;P
Last weekend I was spending my time with Nikon.Snap and snap a lot of things.I entered into the jungle ( kebun yang semak), got a lot of inspirations.Thanks to those models.Actually there more pic but I lazy to edit.Next time okay

Anak-anak Ramadhan

Malam 1 Ramadhan, perangai adik berbeza sekali.Resah gelisah cam kucing nak beranak jer.Memang la dia kucing and dia nak beranak.Kami sudah menyediakan kotak untuknya di tempat gelap di balik pintu, tapi still dia menangis di luar.At last , kami letak kotak kat depan suma orang,baru dia nak masuk dalam kotak tuh.Tak malu tul nak beranak depan suma orang.


Barulah dia tenang dan beranak.Aku siap menyuruhkan adik ku merakam sekali, bukan senang nak tengok kucing beranak.Yang lawaknya, air ketuban pecah meletup plop terkena dahi adik aku.Tak senonoh tul.Tapi mudah jer dia beranak, senyap jer , dah tu bukan seekor tapi empat ekor.Inilah hasilnya.



Dan waktu dia beranak, aku tak sure apa la si abang buat.Rasanya dia bukanlah bapak kepada anak-anak ini.
"Bukan saya.Saya tak bertanggungjawab." Tegasnya sambil merenung ke langit, keresahan.


"Betul sumpah." Siap cium tiang lagi.Blah la ko Abang.

Jerangkuk dalam lemari

Hari-hari makin menakutkan.Setiap hari aku terpikir apa lagi yang bakal rosak.Lihat lah almari ku koyak rabak dikerjakannya.


The problem is,jerangkung tuh hanya melakukannya di waktu aku tak available.Contohnya di tengah malam atau waktu aku bekerja.Dan bila aku balik,inilah hasilnya.


Oleh kerana tak tahan dengan sikap jerangkuk tersebut, dan demi keselamatan baju-bajuku ini lah yang mampu ku buat.Campak jer dalam beg



Jerangkung : No matter what I’ve done, I still the cute one right?
Unid: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

Bad minton

When the whole world is celebrating Olympic Beijing, me and my brother spending time by playing badminton.We don’t have proper net so do you recognize it?Yup, kelambu lama.


Because we not playing in canggih manggih nest stadium, we got problem.Unid, salah seorang pemain perasan glamour selalu menyepoilkan keadaan dengan melayangkan bulu tangkis ke bumbung stadium.



But then we already prepare the consequences.




End of game, 20 -16 , Unid vs Telo.The maximum score that Unid got only 16, the min?I won’t write it. ;P
Unid: Alaa…markah tuh sikit sebab faktor cahaya and angin la!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Sangap Sangap

Macam biasa selepas mandi, aku akan berdating dengan Mr. Leno Black.Banyak betul benda yang hendak diluahkan.Sorry la Leno, awek mu ini asyik suka hati jer bila nak dating.Kekadang muka masam, kekadang tersengih sesorang cam kerang busuk.Please don’t get bore with me.

Honestly sejak aku bertukar kerja kat Kulim, hari-hari ku makin kelam.Terlampau sangap.Ye la dulu tetiap hari nampak klcc, badmood jer leh midnight ngan member-member.Sini kalo nak di buat cenggitu susahlah tempat melepak jauh pastu terpaksa melalui hutan belantara.Disebabkan aku ni perempuan dan tinggal bersama family terpaksalah aku mematuhi peraturan.Huh, selama ni semua benda aku buat suka hati tapi di sini rasa cam terkongkong.

Pastu sini sangat sunyi, populasi manusia nya sangat kurang.Agaknya sebab tu semua orang bising suruh kahwin.Kalo dulu pon aku sesorang tapi tak sesunyi ini.Dulu aku bebas merayap sesorang, rasanya tak ada sapa perasan. Kalau aku nak membaca kat Kinokuniya tu satu hari tu pon rasanya nobody will recognize. Tapi kat sini kalo aku merayau sesorang rasa cam sumer perasan aku nih lonely ranger.Tak selamat tul.Stress.

I miss my life, makin lama makin aku kehilangan identiti ku.Hmm…aku rindukan Taman Titiwangsa tempat yang selalu aku berjogging almost hujung minggu.Aku rindukan Tesco Ampang,Jusco Maluri,Wangsa Maju.Aku rindukan midnite kat KLCC.Aku rindukan event yang selalu dibuat di sana. Aku rindukan gurau senda member-member.

Kulim is not really bad place but honestly for person who always doing thing alone like me it seem very difficult.Hah..thinking about it made me stress become a woman.If I am guy, I think I don’t have to be so strictful.Boleh kuar bila-bila jer takyah risau sgt pasal security, pastu takde orang nak pandang serong.Bestnyer kalo jadi lelaki.

Hah…Tension.I really hope that my perspective will change faster.Tuhan tolong tunjukkan jalan kepada ku.Amin

p/s: Plan dapat gaji beli buku.Duduk rumah baca jer buku.Huh..boleh ker?Try jer la

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Heart to Craddle

My weakness is I always afraid of love. Stay together with my family makes me feel even weaker. Just always worry whether I able to be a good daughter, good big sister. I always cry when I think about it.

When little sister did something false, I am not sure whether I should yell or just keep quite. If my father said something I am not sure how to act. When I laugh together with my mother, I just wondering whether I am doing the right thing or not? Indeed, love is something that I am not sure. Yet still I set prayer, “God please bless my parents, my siblings and my friends…”

Being a sister, a child is forever task. No MC, no annual leave. Sometimes I think that’s why we need to consider it a lot before building a family because there is no turning back. Honestly, besides feeling hurt and all those tears I am happy become one of family member. I am happy to see their smile and I always longing for that.

But love is that, I am not sure whether I am right or wrong. Sometimes I wanted to hold their heart but without realize I squeezed it so tightly until it broken.
Sometimes if I got problem, I wanted to shout, to cry freely but then my mother will look at me sadly which makes me feel guilty. Dear mom, can I cry? Can you let me shout and cry for a little bit? You should know that I feel tired not because of you, but just because I tried to run fast.

So give me a break. When I stayed at KL, I can cry freely until I feel calm down. If my mom calls I can just simply lie that I got flu. But here, I don’t know where to hide this sad ugly face. People always want to see happy face, so where can I cry?

Don’t worry mom, if I come back home late. Just pray for my safety, just let me cry so I can go home cheerfully as your daughter.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Unid Psychic

I had weird dream last night. In the morning when I arrived, it’s like dream come true. I stared at my officemate face. He shaved his moustache a little. I quite shivering, because I rarely dreaming and sometimes my dream turn to be real.

In my dream, he shaved all hair in his face and I asked him.”Why you shave it?”
“I am not handsome so I shaved it.” Then I shouted at him and bla … bla...

This morning I asked him for confirmation. He said,” Every Thursday I shaved it.”

Phew.At least my dream is not really come true and I am not psychic.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

For all time

I bought new notebook Lenovo.I called it Leno

Here some summaries on what happening to me lately.

Reason to smile
Everybody in this world have problems, stress sometimes end up by commit suicide. If we’re thinking about it, there’s no reason to be happy.
Huh…every morning I try to pull my lip to cheek, make a smile.Smile.Be happy. I smile simply just because I don’t want to be sad. Simple .Boleh ke?

Blank...
Lately I feel something wrong with my brain.I get blur easily , and looks like I lost in my own world, even I don’t know where is it.All the words that come to me is fading and I always end up with ,”Huh?”
I having difficulties to remember thing, even the things that I used to do.Feeling uncertain and I don’t why.My God, how I suppose to work when my brain is in hibernate mode.

My Monkey Cat
Sometimes I am thinking whether the creature that meowing in my house is a cat or monkey. So so naughty. All my thing ruined because of him. I am not sure why he hates me so much. All my thing, just named it, clothes, makeup and even my lovely Ceri all have his trace. Sana sini.
I really wanted to tie him and hang him at rambutan tree, let the monkeys eat him
But I ended up with shout, “You’re EVILLLLL…” With kisses on his forehead.

Ceri Parit
It was Israk Mikraj which related to Prophet went to sky and bla…bla…But it also related to Ceri who went into parit (drain) in palm oil field. Ceri , you always being naughty. Before this you kiss Ceri tree passionately, until I need to claim insurance. Now you kiss parit even ringan-ringan still I lost rm 400.

Stupid Ceri Parit.I need to tebus maruah with my money.I lost my dignity. Siut la lu Ceri, or should I said siut la Unid. You‘re crazy driver.

Great Sister
I messing up with my work until I got sms from my younger sister.
“I am very thankful to God cause giving me a great sister like you.I hope that God always bless you ”
I just stared on it and think what a sudden?
Late evening my mom give me a call.
“Today is your sister’s birthday, why don’t you wish her”
Huh, that explains all about what a sudden. Sorry sis, I even forgot my own birthday.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Good to be Home

Konnichiwa!Hishashiburi nehhhh.Long time no see but I must confess that I miss blogging.
Miss when the keyboard typing all my feeling when I want to.

FYI, I 've been working at new place almost two months, and during that time
I didn't have chance to blog anything.I learn a lot of new thing here and I am super duper happy about it.
Quite regret cause I didn't realize it earlier in the past, I wasted my time studying and misunderstanding.Weird, because
I am obselete programmer( Sob..sob)

I am happy because I get my quality time with my family (not sure the right term) because I always fight with me youngest sister NeNe, five days working hard and next two days playing around.It's better than have all day working day but the production level is consistent low.I think my production level is always high for five day, maybe Monday I got a little bit down.Still no cure for Monday Blues.

Right now ,I completed the coding part, only left documentation part.Actually I almost done a few diagrams until I realize that the community edition tool that I've been used giving me 'ugly-cop' on my diagrams after I successfully exported it into image file.So I need to find the right tool and start all over again.

But working here change my perspective, maybe because it's new place so I want to start a new life.It's good to have positive
thinking so a day become brighter.I also get my passion back in working after I lost it , maybe because everyday I wondering what the new thing I that I can learn.

My pc crash, I hope I will get a lot a lot of money so I can buy new one.I don't want to write blog at office actually.I want to write during my leisure time , while my brain wondering freely but no pc at home.So sad.

Ohh..ya good thing I finally found Guardian at SP.That's mean I don't have to change my skincare product and listen to the sales girl torture.I really hate when they 're bugging me while I don't even have mood to buy anything.I am normal girl, just like spending my time reading label on those product rather than buy it.Of cource the second activity is quite expensive.But Guardian and Watson give me freedom.So why I need to buy all thing that sales girl ask me, let me read the label first.

And another good thing, no traffic jam.Huhu but it's quite scary when I need to stayback late at office.The road become so silent , many flying creatures and death things on the road.Last time I saw buffalo.A lot of accident happens because all peoples are Formula-One-Driver wanna be.My Ceri need to work harder.

I think that's all.Sorry for grammar error,logic error in this entry.I don't have pc to concentrate on it.I just want to update to all of you that right now I am working at my hometown.Away from happening KL. I still miss my friends there, hope they will always pray for me and always be happy.

^(*6*)^ ~~Happy Always !!!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Sick to be sick

I caught by cold. Nose drip, cough, and sore throat! Since I working at this company I am not sure how many times I attacked by the virus. Seem like my body is so fragile. I never thought that sharing drink with infected friend can cause me badly. I knew that is not good sharing glass, room while you had cold but I never thought that can be simply happen.

Rewind to last Saturday while I was hanging out with my friend. She was drinking 100 Plus and I wanted it.

Hananako refused to share with me because she got flu symptom.
Hananako :Aku ni kena selsema, kang berjangkit( I got cold.The virus will spread)
Unid : Takper…takdela (Never mind. I don’t care)

Gulp…gulp I was drinking happily .One day after that my throat felt dry and sore. I don’t want to believe it until yesterday, the fluid flowing from my nose non-stop. I was infected. Sob…sob...I bought some medical herb and Air Cap Badak from Watson, pharmacy was not open yet. I believed that it was not so bad; it will cure in a minute without seeing the doctor. But I was wrong.

Today it become worst, I already finished boxes of tissue. I could not work properly, I only stare at my Notebook while control the fluid that running out from my nose. Shit! I hate cold. I also hate headache, stomachache, fever and bla…bla. Anyway who loves sick? No one right?!

I hate cold because I felt unhygienic. I could not wash my hair, could not wash body properly. I need to prepare hot water before I can take bath. I need to get away from aircond and anything that cold. I need to hurry up when apply face powder, faster that running fluid from my nose. My face looks dull and dry. I need to go toilet always. I need to bring tissue box and plastic bag everywhere. I can’t eat properly, I lost my appetite.

At last, running out of option, I went to clinic. I hated to use my PMCare card especially when I knew that tomorrow is my last day at office.

Doctor : Demam ke ?(Got fever?)
Unid: Entah. Tak kut, Cuma selsema.Tapi badan rasa cam panas jer.(Not sure, just cold but my body feeling hot)
Doctor put thermometer at my forehead: Demam ni, you duduk dalam aircond that’s why you tak perasan.Aircond tuh sejuk.( You got fever, you working with aircond that why you didn’t notice that your body temperature is quite high)

Doctor gave me medicine and mask. I took the medicine as soon as I arrived at office desk and wear the mask that makes me look like alien.”Engkau nak protest ke?” (You want to protest or something),”Look like surgeon”. It’s very rare people wearing mask when they got flu here. My friends laugh at me and I end up working at surau (prayer room) to avoid air cond and curious faces.

Working alone give me a lot of idea writing blog. Thanks to my friend for their concern. Atashi daijoubu des. He he he.So happy reading!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Neko no ongaeshi (Pembalasan Kucing)

Imagine there a kingdom where lead and live by cat that walks with only two feet. The cat guardians wear tuxedo and the soldier in the green spot uniform. Quite codswallop right?

Haru-chan, a normal girl in a normal town, saves a strange cat carrying a present from being overrun by a truck. In return she’s going to receive lots of favor, including marriage to the crown prince of Cat Kingdom. As she finds that a bit too much, she gets into contact with the Cat Business Office. Together with CBO’s owner, the Baron, she enters the Cat Kingdom to try and prevent her marriage.

I bought this anime at Tesco with only RM9.90; the normal price is RM21.90.I spending a lot of time surveying a good DVD that worth for money at this time. Usually I download anime from internet but it takes quite long time.
The Cat Returns is from Studio Ghibli. So far Studio Ghibli never let me down since Grave of the Fireflies, Spirited Away, Totoro, Only Yesterday and many more. I loves story from Studio Ghibli because it’s simple, bring really good message and suitable for all ages.

Watching The Cat Returns makes me amazed in the way them making the characters. It’s very cool, handsome and macho until you did not realize that it is a cat that you adored. Such weird when I said, ”Wah…so cool.” to the cat.

I love the theme song. It brings really nice, cool feeling. It’s like you are lie down on the green field, breathing the fresh air. I already ripped the song and right now I can listen straight away from the Notebook. The song by Ayano Tsuji titled Kaze ni Naru, I heard rumors that Ayano Tsuji is like Nora Jones in Japan.

And again for how many times, I watching it again and again .Last Sunday I watched it again with my friend and keep introducing it to others.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Labor Day

Yay…Labor Day!!. I woke up late. While having breakfast (my great housemate made it) then I realized I got SMS since 6.33 pm from my mom; “Syoknya tidor, bangun-bangun la solat pastu sambung balik.”(It’s good to sleep but wake up and pray, and then you can continue your dream). Hoh…of course I didn’t realize it because I was sleeping but luckily I was allowed to skip prayer. Happy to be a woman! ;-)

Then I also received SMS from friend, asked me to hanging out. But I am not in the hanging out mode.I wanted to go Low Yatt to buy a hard disk, but then I remember that I promised my other friend to go with her on the next Sunday. So I think the best is to stay quite at house on the Labor Day.

I start up my notebook and started playing Atlantis until “You got High Score 2 +++ +++”.Then I played Dinner Dash, it’s really challenging and quite irritating too. I hate when I clicked on the menu, but the game did not detect it. So I lost.

Bosan. I opened Charlotte’s Web DVD. It was interesting movie about Charlotte the spider helping pig named Wilbur. I love the movie and memorize the quote from it such as, “I made, I wait then I get it.”Something likes that. “We born, we live for some time and then we die. It’s a circle “
It's remind me about one chapter in Koran titled Al Ankabut (Spider). Spider is miracle, nobody teach them how to create such a great web but they did it. Wonderful creature!

Then I started sweeping the house, took one of my luggages and started packaging a little. I hate it.FYI; next week is my last week at my current company. I move to the new company at my home town. I hate it because I need to separate from my friends but love it because I will be close to my family. One of the important reasons is to build a house for my parent. I estimated two years then I will do whatever I want such as travelling around the world.

I came from poor family so I want to thanks to my parent by building a house for them. I knew that I will be suffering especially in term of money because building a house required quite a lot of money, not to include the crisis especially when I am stubborn, stone head daughter.

Humm...After getting bored packaging, I continued playing game. I wish I could go to Low Yatt today, bosan siut! But be patient, next Sunday won’t take so long. It’s already dusk, I wash myself and then watching TV 3 drama, SAKA .It’s quite good horror drama. But I am not really into horror because I already got symptom could-not-sleep-in-the-dark after watching Congkak. It’s been a week I got that symptom and it was suck, especially when you knew that sleeping with the light on is not a good sleep.

Then I get to sleep, and as usual because I got could-not-sleep-in-the-dark symptom, I continued to turn on, turn off the light. Once I turned off and started to close my eyes then I suddenly woke up and turned on the light. What a tiring routine. But last night I managed to sleep in the dark. My officemate also got the same symptom but I don’t know how bad it is.

Today morning, when I arrived at the office, my friend smiling ,said that she could not make it on Sunday because she will go back Perak for the whole weekend and assumed that I already noticed it. #$%^&&!!!! Ohh… I forgot that I was the one who drove her to buy a bus ticket on the first place. How can I still assume that she will be out on the next Sunday while buying the ticket? Fool on me!

Maybe I was destined to stay at home quietly yesterday.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Selfishy

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind,and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative..Maybecome secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't likedetails. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic andloving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8years of bad luck if you do not forward.

So I just post it,so the whole world will get it.Wondering why it stated Good Kisser, maybe because it's a fish.Imagine Goldfish kissing. Ha ha ha

No matter

On 19 April 2008 I went to Taman Pertanian Shah Alam , with my friends. Actually it was activity that held by my friend’s company as CSR with the orphans. When I saw this kid’s face, it does remind me to my childhood. I think I more resemble like them but not end up at orphan house.
When I saw their happiness together with determination I can feel that they will be excellent people absolutely. People that super successful usually not come from background like Paris Hilton. They usually are suffering a lot. I am not saying that is good to be poor or vice versa. However the most important thing is how we control it. Poverty or wealthy is not variable to judge people, and if it is, it won’t be fair. Same goes whether orphan or not, disabled or perfect because no matter how is it people still can be happy or sad. Rich people can cry, poor can laugh. So I think it’s natural.
Still despite those differences, human still receive the same time, 24 hours a day goes to every person, and still have the same heart feeling, the same oxygen. So as conclusion, no matter what condition we are, we still have all the opportunities as long we are alive. So please don’t give up because people who give up are people who already died.


Refer to the map, but where those missing alphabets?Can you recognize it?
Start your day with heavy nasi lemak.Make sure you count the calories.
One of the cute animals, but there so many flying bugs come out from it's feather.I am not sure whether it feels comfortable.You should take bath Mr. Ostrich
It's Spring.
And here the Spring...

Friday, March 28, 2008

Dream


I have so many dreams. I don't have to rush making it real in once. Slowly I will fulfill it one by one. Because no matter how, I still need a sleep


Monday, March 24, 2008

Kenapa saya tidak seperti orang lain?

Baru-baru ini aku mendaftar sebagai ahli di Perpustakaan Negara.Sangat gembira walaupun sedikit kecewa apabila aku terpaksa keluar mencari buku di Wisma Sejarah apabila buku-buku yang terdapat di Perpustakaan Negara tidak boleh dipinjam.Bagi aku yang pertama kali mungkin terasa sedikit payah apatah lagi sudah biasa dengan perpustakaan universiti yang pada pandanganku lebih tersusun.

Aku meminjam beberapa buah buku antaranya “Why Can’t I Learn Like Everyone Else?Youth with Learning Disabilities by Shirley Brinkerhoff.

Buku ini mengisahkan Charlie yang pada mulanya tidak menyedari ketidakupayaannya.Dia sering bertekad akan berusaha lebih gigih lagi.Ketika di tadika dia seperti kanak-kanak lain boleh mengenal ABC dan menyanyikannya.Masalah bermula ketika dia masuk ke Gred 1 di mana dia perlu membaca.Dia tidak sempat mengenalpasti perkataan di atas kertas, seperti perkataan tersebut bergerak-gerak di atas kertas. Dia cuba memberitahu gurunya dan reaksinya adalah, “Perkataan di atas kertas tidak bergerak Charlie.” Maka dia bertindak mendiamkan diri sahaja.

Oleh itu aktiviti membaca dengan kuat menjadi satu penyeksaan baginya.Sebelum tiba gilirannya untuk membaca Charlie cuba sedaya upaya untuk mengenalpasti bahagiannya.Murid-murid yang lain mula mentertawakannya dan membuatkannya terasa sangat bodoh.

Ayahnya pengidap dyslexia. Bekerja sebagai penghantar roti dan bangga dengan pekerjaannya yang mampu menampung kehidupan mereka berdua.Ayahnya bijak berkebun, mengetahui tentang burung-burung dan pelbagai lagi tetapi ketidakupayaannya membaca membuatkannya seperti dipenjara.

Ayahnya selalu membawa pulang buku-buku bergambar dan menyuruh Charlie membacanya.Charlie mereka-reka cerita dan ayahnya dengan bangga berkata,”Kamu buat ayah bangga.Suatu hari kamu boleh ajar ayah membaca.”Charlie bertambah kecewa dengan dirinya.

Charlie sedaya upaya menyembunyikan kelemahannya dari bapanya .Dia mengupah seorang rakan untuk menolongnya dengan kerja sekolah. Perkara ini berlarutan sehinggalah ayahnya mengahwini Janet.Janet suka membaca dan ini menyebabkan kehidupan Charlie porak peranda.Sejak Janet hadir hidup Charlie menjadi tidak keruan apatah lagi Janet mengesyaki ada yang tak kena dengan anak tirinya.Ada ketika Janet menyuruhnya mengambil surat dan membahagikannya mengikut keutamaan, menyuruhnya membaca sedang Charlie sedaya upaya mengelakkan diri.

Hubungan Janet dan Charlie tidak begitu baik sehinggalah akhirnya Charlie sedar bahawa ibu tirinya sedaya upaya menolongnya.Apatah lagi ibunya pernah mengidap dyscalculia.Janet mahu Charlie sedar dan menanganinya lebih awal sebelum terlambat.

Buku ini sangat menyentuh hati dan informatif.Setiap bab diselang dengan penerangan mengenai “Learning Disorder” antaranya dyslexia : ketidakupayaan membaca, menulis dan mengeja, dysgraphia: ketidakupayaan menulis, dyscalculia : ketidakupayan melakukan matematik dan pelbagai lagi.

Semasa aku di sekolah rendah terdapat seorang murid lelaki yang agak lembap dari segi pembelajaran.Kadang-kadang aku sendiri terasa aneh, mengapa budak itu terlalu lembap terutama apabila cikgu menyuruh membaca perenggan.Dia terkial-kial mengeja (itu pun dengan bantuan guru) padahal kami sudah berada di darjah empat seingat aku.Dia boleh menyebut huruf-huruf tetapi apabila guru bertanya,”Jadi bunyinya apa?”Dia terdiam dan bingung.Dia dimasukkan di kelas B.Budaknya berkulit cerah, normal, tiada ciri-ciri sindrom down jadi aku dengan mudah menyimpulkan budak itu malas belajar.

Aku belajar di sekolah kampung di mana kemudahannya agak terhad.Aku tergolong dalam murid yang agak pintar jadi kelembapan sebegitu membuatkan aku terasa aneh.Yalah, semuanya belajar dengan cara yang sama, mengapa masih ada budak yang terlalu jauh ketinggalan.Bagaimanalah kehidupannya sekarang.Harapnya baik-baik sahaja.

Setelah membaca buku ini aku berasa bersyukur dengan kenormalan otak aku.Di luar sana ada banyak yang menderita.Kebanyakannya mereka yang mengidap penyakit ini digelar bodoh dan selalu berakhir dengan kesusahan.Apatah lagi membaca adalah keperluan di masa sekarang, jika tidak bagaimana hendak membaca arah jalan.

Di Malaysia, terutama di kampung aku percaya mereka tidak terdedah dengan penyakit ini.Ibu bapa mungkin dengan senang akan berkata,” Ah …anak aku bodoh seperti aku juga.” Tanpa menyedari ketidakupayaan ini wujud dan boleh diwarisi.Padahal mereka yang mengalami keadaan ini mempunyai tahap kecerdikan yang normal malah boleh mencapai taraf genius.Mereka cuma memerlukan kaedah yang lain daripada orang lain.

Dikatakan pengambilan dadah semasa mengandung, ketidakstabilan genetic boleh membawa kepada “penyakit” ini (aku tidak tahu hendak memanggilnya apa).Kepada anda yang membaca blog ini, bersyukurlah kerana anda masih lagi sempurna.

Unid: Kelemahan aku matematik, walaupun rajin macam mana pun paling tinggi aku dapat adalah D cukup-cukup makan. Tapi aku yakin yang ini disebabkan kedunguan diriku sendiri.

Antara yang boleh dirujuk : http://www.ldanatl.org/ ; http://www.ltcconline.net/marinelli-laster/