Friday, December 2, 2016

When we start telling the stories...

I noticed at this age, I stop sharing and explaining myself too much.Not because of the listener issue but I just realize this is how I keep my self strong.

Why? It's normal when people have their own view when listening to our stories.That is not purely their fault, they are not tree or cat.They are human, they listen and analyze and try to judge and give opinion.It's either they try to help or just pretending to help but at the end of the day they will have their own perspective.It is impossible to force people to be neutral while ourselves also struggling to be neutral when we becoming a  listener ourselves.

When I was in young age, I used to believe that telling people about your problem will help to reduce stress and might probably solve the issue.But actually not all issues are applicable for solution,and it 's depending on WHY you are  telling them at the first place.Some of the issues do not need solution but it need patient and positive thinking.

If we are really seeking for solution,then we need to open our heart with other people's opinion.They will list out their solution based on their own view.They will ask and ask, and sometimes we find it annoying to answer all.It's one of the consequences when we start telling the stories.Then we analyze which one that can be applied in order to solve the issue.In this case, their opinion and perspective will give us an idea to move forward.Bear in mind, not many peoples are listening to understand, some are just listen in order to reply.It may break our heart when we get the feedback.So do not tell the stories if we set some expectation on answer.

It is so funny when they give feedback ,we  reply abruptly;
YOU ARE NOT IN MY SHOE.

REMEMBER DARLING, our path of life never same with others.It may look same, but it is different.If we are insist on how our own shoes are so different with theirs, we might want to reconsider asking them to try our shoe at first place.

Most of the time, we are telling people not because we want the solution but more on telling the stories about our pain.Because we thought, sharing is caring.Yeah, it will depend on how we expect the SHARE will be look like.

It may reduce stress if we tell them once or twice but if we keep telling our pain again and again, will it cure?NO.Remember, the people who listen to us,
;they are just HUMAN.If we just keep telling them without any intention to listen to their opinion or whatsoever and keep repeating it again and again what will happen?

Imagine yourself , become a listener to your friend regarding on their pathetic family again and again.Can you resist just to be a listener?Yeah, you can yes .Good friend is a good listener but is it helping your friend ?Believe me, sooner or later we will try to solve it.We could not stand to be a listener forever-- and when the time come we will expect our friend will decide to help themselves.As I said, some difficulties in life are not meant to be solved, but we can just change our own perspective to be patient and positive and keep going.

I used to tell people last time, about sorrow and painful thing while I was in it.How the world is so cruel, giving me no choice...bla bla...I have good friend that just do nothing but listen but it does not help to cure my issue.Now we have Facebook, Blog , we can write about our sorrow and pain but will it help?

WHY?

Talking about the problem consume time , energy and brain processing.So need to make sure the talk will solve the issue.But if it just complaining, it waste the time and help us go no where.Imagine you are hungry, you order food and food is bad.The hunger is bad enough, the food is bad enough and I am complaining how bad both situation.So it already bad and it goes worst.

Hunger + Bad Food + Negative thinking + Complaining = Stress Increase

now compare with this :

Hunger + Bad Food + Postive thinking + Looking for solution= stress decrease

Scenario above is just simple analogy in life.Our life is not easy, it is complicated but believe me there a lot of other people face the same.Some of us have miserable parent that we could not choose, some of us have sickness that still no cure,some of us live in miserable country -- we can keep telling people but with only our own self can raise and work on it.All of the challenge is bad enough, you can tell people but face the risk.It  is either can help you and destroy you.You are lucky if you got a good listener that willing to lend their ear to listen  forever .But DO NOT OVERUSE IT. Keep telling and complaining will help you to GO NOWHERE.How you can go anywhere if most of the time/energy you spend on story telling and complaining?

We are mad because people does not listen, but sometimes our issue is not worth to be tell yet.There some of issue and pain should be endured amd it will be a great memories in future.

I faced a lot of difficulties during young time, now when I rewind it,I think at certain condition I will be more successful if I was not wasting too much time complaining and stress.If I tweak it to positive , it may result differently.

I went through my blog history, my facebook wall in the past.Some of it just despair and when I think of it, it bring me no where.It is not beneficial for reader and doing no good for myself.I feel ashamed and try to delete and found out that I was  wasting my time doing the clean up.So I should learn how to take it easy and let it go.Positive way, that's is how I grow.

All the pain and difficulties can be just a regret or complain or it can be beautiful poem.


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