Salah faham tentang positive thinking
Positive thinking yang berlebihan ni kadang-akadang akan menyebabkan perasan syok sendiri dan mimpi yang tak berkesudahan kalau tersalah konsep.Silap hari bulan boleh bagi bala pada diri sendiri dan orang sekeliling.
Terlampau positive sampai kita tak nampak suatu perkara itu sebagai masalah yang perlu diselesaikan and it end up ianya kekal sebagai masalah.Contoh, kita selalu demam tapi dek terlampau positif kita force diri kita untuk menganggap itu demam sikit jer takde apa-apa.Padahal selalu demam adalah cara badan nak bagitau yang something wrong to happen and need our attention and action.
Scenario : Demam tiga kali dah dalam bulan ni.
How try to be positive can be bad ?
"Alaaa... baru demam 3 kali sebulan.Takde apalah. Allah nak kifarah dosa la ni."
*sambil lap hingus , tanpa tidur cukup , tanpa pantang makan, tanpa jumpa doktor tanpa apa-apa dengan harapan sakit tu lega sendiri.Senyum tak perlu kata apa-apa.Allah takkan kifarah tanpa kita usaha kita nak sembuh.
How negative can be good?
"Tiga kali dah demam ni, jarang demam macam ni.Kena jumpa doktor ni.Humm..apa yang aku makan dalam bulan ni?Tidur cukup ke tak bulan ni."
*walaupun demam tu satu perkara buruk , terus take action untuk sembuh such as check routine, see doctor. Perkara buruk yang terjadi dalam hidup adalah cara untuk kita perbaiki diri.
Tak kiralah how positive we want to be, the key is what action that we have taken?
If any result from the thinking is doing nothing - kemungkinan besar kita tenggelam dalam mimpi indah jer.
Scenario : KL ni jam teruk .
Kalau ikutkan permasalahan kat atas bukan salah kita pun.It's not our fault pun.Paling senang nak escape adalah blame government sebab memang mudah nak blame orang tapi still we can vote which government we want for next election.
So macam mana nak buat ni?
Listkan action and solution for ourselves as individual (our own self) . Why? Sebab lagi senang nak implement kat diri sendiri dari nak ubah orang.
List of actions is produced from asking WHY , HOW and Expected Result.
KL Jam Teruk seem impossible to solve so ,
tanya diri kita, why it cause problem to us?
Contoh :
Kita datang lambat dan banyak buang masa atas jalan.Jadi tanya balik diri kita berapa lama masa kita terbuang?
Kemudian listkan about possible solutions yang kita boleh buat :
1) Naik train , how much it cost? Bajet bulan berapa? How much time waste in train?Can the time in train use for benefical activities such as reading etc?
2) Bangun awal ? how much it cost us?Will it cause us tak cukup tidur?Compare dengan masa tidur sekarang?Make sure masa tidur sekarang tak lewat disebabkan aktiviti yang buang masa.
3) Pindah rumah? How much it cost you?
4) Is it worth to invest money over time?
All these questions must be answered honestly by ourselves.Sebab kita yang nak buat bukan orang lain buat untuk kita.Trust me, selalunya ada solution but yang paling berat adalah untuk buat.This is when positive thinking is misused to please our heart without taking action because action is the hardest thing to do to. But we are defined by what we do not by what we're thinking.
KL Jam, masa habis atas jalan is the most common problem. Recently my colleague having this issue. What he did?
- He drives to the office, he calculates the time he takes to reach the office, parking, toll and petrol cost.
- He tries public transport and calculates the monthly fee and time wasted on the train, it's cheaper than driving but he exhausted still because he wastes too much time on travel.
- He surveys the nearest house and finds out it cost more money than his current rental.Even including the cost of public transport it still cost more around RM200.
At last, he choose to rent the nearest house because he think he can pay RM200 for the time. If you have money to pay for time - then pay for the time. Because of time worth more than money. With the extra time, he can cook for his lunch, he can exercises and at the end, it will return more than RM200.
Same like us, how many of us think that there is no way out for us while actually there is? But we choose not to do it because :
- we scare to new environment, new routine - WE SCARE.
How many of us chose not to change company although it toxic and get underpaid because we scare to adapt new environment in the new company. So we choose to stay but we complaining about our bosses , our colleagus behind their back because we scare what they will think about us. Instead, we list down all good solutions to our family and close friends NOT to people that we are supposed to share because of our family and close friend surely at our side. Yes, because we scare to any disagreement. We scare to be a manager because we don't want to repeat mistakes as our manager do while we never talk to our manager about their mistake. And we expect them to understand because they are the manager.
Too much job? Then check our routine. Last time I thought I was busy, but actually it just my routine that I need to change. Reduce distraction while working. Divide and conquer, for example in my daily job, I have to do development, I have to do peer review, I have to do investigation, POC and some of BAU stuff. Including some management stuff when report needed, HR requires something. I believe you also have many things to do.
Here what I do to solve it (still I am improving):
- I reduce distraction from phone and any unbeneficial sites and emails. Usually, I put my phone in silent mode inside my drawer. I don't do it every day if I know someone needs to call me for follow up example road tax renewal. I only checked my phone when lunch.
- Prioritize, check email and ticket first then prioritize.List what you need to do in a day.
- I don't Lynch on personal stuff. Lynch is one of Chatter tool in the office, I don't have to set as Busy always because I don't entertain personal conversation much.It set to Green Available but does not mean that I don't have task to do.It means I run my task as usual but you still welcome to Chat with me on your issue.
- Learn to say No and provide the solution. But we cannot expect people to stop using Lynch whenever they feel need to but we can manage how we want to handle the case. Usually, for personal message, I asked them to contact my personal phone, email so I can check with it later.For any job related, I will check whether it can be postponed to other time.I ask the person, is it okay if I schedule this time and catch them later? Some of the issue I asked them to log ticket whereby it will be visible to our team.
- Find the dedicated time to settle personal stuff ex. pay bills etc. I dedicated the early morning to do that not in the middle of work.
- Peer review whereby I need to review other people task. So I dedicated one day to review and make it visible to them so they know that Wednesday is Nur Peer Review Day. Don't get me wrong, I still do peer review on other days if I don't have tasks to do. By doing this, my teammate will aware of when the best time to get their task review and make my life easier and help me to focus. If I don't do this, I have no idea when I need to peer review and it's hard to manage my time and cause distraction especially when I am doing development.
Honestly it sounds scary but actually it is not when we just do it.After doing a lot of improvement and we still don't get enough time - then let your boss know, HR know that you need helps.
We scare a lot of things and worst thing we use so-called 'positive thinking' to get away from it instead of solving it.I got friend who dare enough to change his job just because of traffic. He loves current job and his current resident but he loves his resident more so he quite.
If no action, mean we are comfortable with the situation and we don't plan to improve it.
Nampak sama tapi berbeza kan?
Yang baik jadikan teladan dan please doakan saya yang baik-baik.
Bye.
Terlampau positive sampai kita tak nampak suatu perkara itu sebagai masalah yang perlu diselesaikan and it end up ianya kekal sebagai masalah.Contoh, kita selalu demam tapi dek terlampau positif kita force diri kita untuk menganggap itu demam sikit jer takde apa-apa.Padahal selalu demam adalah cara badan nak bagitau yang something wrong to happen and need our attention and action.
Positive and negative must be balance and guided with objective to improve our own life , to make less wrong everyday without trying to be perfect.
Scenario : Demam tiga kali dah dalam bulan ni.
How try to be positive can be bad ?
"Alaaa... baru demam 3 kali sebulan.Takde apalah. Allah nak kifarah dosa la ni."
*sambil lap hingus , tanpa tidur cukup , tanpa pantang makan, tanpa jumpa doktor tanpa apa-apa dengan harapan sakit tu lega sendiri.Senyum tak perlu kata apa-apa.Allah takkan kifarah tanpa kita usaha kita nak sembuh.
How negative can be good?
"Tiga kali dah demam ni, jarang demam macam ni.Kena jumpa doktor ni.Humm..apa yang aku makan dalam bulan ni?Tidur cukup ke tak bulan ni."
*walaupun demam tu satu perkara buruk , terus take action untuk sembuh such as check routine, see doctor. Perkara buruk yang terjadi dalam hidup adalah cara untuk kita perbaiki diri.
Tak kiralah how positive we want to be, the key is what action that we have taken?
If any result from the thinking is doing nothing - kemungkinan besar kita tenggelam dalam mimpi indah jer.
Scenario : KL ni jam teruk .
Kalau ikutkan permasalahan kat atas bukan salah kita pun.It's not our fault pun.Paling senang nak escape adalah blame government sebab memang mudah nak blame orang tapi still we can vote which government we want for next election.
So macam mana nak buat ni?
Listkan action and solution for ourselves as individual (our own self) . Why? Sebab lagi senang nak implement kat diri sendiri dari nak ubah orang.
List of actions is produced from asking WHY , HOW and Expected Result.
KL Jam Teruk seem impossible to solve so ,
tanya diri kita, why it cause problem to us?
Contoh :
Kita datang lambat dan banyak buang masa atas jalan.Jadi tanya balik diri kita berapa lama masa kita terbuang?
Kemudian listkan about possible solutions yang kita boleh buat :
1) Naik train , how much it cost? Bajet bulan berapa? How much time waste in train?Can the time in train use for benefical activities such as reading etc?
2) Bangun awal ? how much it cost us?Will it cause us tak cukup tidur?Compare dengan masa tidur sekarang?Make sure masa tidur sekarang tak lewat disebabkan aktiviti yang buang masa.
3) Pindah rumah? How much it cost you?
4) Is it worth to invest money over time?
All these questions must be answered honestly by ourselves.Sebab kita yang nak buat bukan orang lain buat untuk kita.Trust me, selalunya ada solution but yang paling berat adalah untuk buat.This is when positive thinking is misused to please our heart without taking action because action is the hardest thing to do to. But we are defined by what we do not by what we're thinking.
KL Jam, masa habis atas jalan is the most common problem. Recently my colleague having this issue. What he did?
- He drives to the office, he calculates the time he takes to reach the office, parking, toll and petrol cost.
- He tries public transport and calculates the monthly fee and time wasted on the train, it's cheaper than driving but he exhausted still because he wastes too much time on travel.
- He surveys the nearest house and finds out it cost more money than his current rental.Even including the cost of public transport it still cost more around RM200.
At last, he choose to rent the nearest house because he think he can pay RM200 for the time. If you have money to pay for time - then pay for the time. Because of time worth more than money. With the extra time, he can cook for his lunch, he can exercises and at the end, it will return more than RM200.
Same like us, how many of us think that there is no way out for us while actually there is? But we choose not to do it because :
- we scare to new environment, new routine - WE SCARE.
How many of us chose not to change company although it toxic and get underpaid because we scare to adapt new environment in the new company. So we choose to stay but we complaining about our bosses , our colleagus behind their back because we scare what they will think about us. Instead, we list down all good solutions to our family and close friends NOT to people that we are supposed to share because of our family and close friend surely at our side. Yes, because we scare to any disagreement. We scare to be a manager because we don't want to repeat mistakes as our manager do while we never talk to our manager about their mistake. And we expect them to understand because they are the manager.
Too much job? Then check our routine. Last time I thought I was busy, but actually it just my routine that I need to change. Reduce distraction while working. Divide and conquer, for example in my daily job, I have to do development, I have to do peer review, I have to do investigation, POC and some of BAU stuff. Including some management stuff when report needed, HR requires something. I believe you also have many things to do.
Here what I do to solve it (still I am improving):
- I reduce distraction from phone and any unbeneficial sites and emails. Usually, I put my phone in silent mode inside my drawer. I don't do it every day if I know someone needs to call me for follow up example road tax renewal. I only checked my phone when lunch.
- Prioritize, check email and ticket first then prioritize.List what you need to do in a day.
- I don't Lynch on personal stuff. Lynch is one of Chatter tool in the office, I don't have to set as Busy always because I don't entertain personal conversation much.It set to Green Available but does not mean that I don't have task to do.It means I run my task as usual but you still welcome to Chat with me on your issue.
- Learn to say No and provide the solution. But we cannot expect people to stop using Lynch whenever they feel need to but we can manage how we want to handle the case. Usually, for personal message, I asked them to contact my personal phone, email so I can check with it later.For any job related, I will check whether it can be postponed to other time.I ask the person, is it okay if I schedule this time and catch them later? Some of the issue I asked them to log ticket whereby it will be visible to our team.
- Find the dedicated time to settle personal stuff ex. pay bills etc. I dedicated the early morning to do that not in the middle of work.
- Peer review whereby I need to review other people task. So I dedicated one day to review and make it visible to them so they know that Wednesday is Nur Peer Review Day. Don't get me wrong, I still do peer review on other days if I don't have tasks to do. By doing this, my teammate will aware of when the best time to get their task review and make my life easier and help me to focus. If I don't do this, I have no idea when I need to peer review and it's hard to manage my time and cause distraction especially when I am doing development.
Honestly it sounds scary but actually it is not when we just do it.After doing a lot of improvement and we still don't get enough time - then let your boss know, HR know that you need helps.
We scare a lot of things and worst thing we use so-called 'positive thinking' to get away from it instead of solving it.I got friend who dare enough to change his job just because of traffic. He loves current job and his current resident but he loves his resident more so he quite.
If no action, mean we are comfortable with the situation and we don't plan to improve it.
People who scare of die will end up do nothing.
People who aware of death will live to fullest.
Nampak sama tapi berbeza kan?
Yang baik jadikan teladan dan please doakan saya yang baik-baik.
Bye.
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