Who will save me from myself?

14 January

I SMS my friend last evening. A lot of thing happens, and I really desperately need someone to talk. She kind of busy so I just let it be. At night, while I was fighting with myself trying to sleep, she called.

“Hai”
“Hai” Long idle.
“Are you fine?”
“Yup” Long idle
“How’s your family?”
“Fine”
“What are you doing right now?” She tried the best to break the ice

“I am fine. Trying to sleep –“I cheated but she knew and I knew she knew. I could not bring any words. It’s like my tears explode. Then I tried to tell her what I feel and what happen slowly under blanket.
And she likes “Uh? Ooo.. I could not hear you …”

Of course, because my voice was slow, my explanation was upside down but she just patiently listens to me.

“I hate myself. I feel like I am alien or something. I want to be like other-“I cried.

“Don’t Unid. NO!” She cut my voice firmly.”Just be yourself. There is no other Unid in this world. You’re the most unique person. You cannot be someone else.”

I cry. “But it cannot be helped right??!If you lose, you will start comparing yourself with other person-“

“No.Don‘t ever try it. Just be happy, be yourself”

At last, I just agreed with her. I am losing myself, little by little, bit by bit until I don’t who I am. I am missing myself and try my best to save it.

After long conversation, I tried to sleep with my eyes swollen up like balloon, I just wondering how I going to cover it tomorrow. I must admit, I can be very weak sometimes.

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This work by unid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License.

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